I could get used to this.

For Christmas, Mark got me something I’ve been wanting – no, needing – for quite a long time. He got me a clean house.

Last Friday, four angels stormed into our tiny house and scrubbed it top to bottom. They swept, they vacuumed, they dusted and wiped. They did what I wish I would do every week and have actually done maybe four times in the last 5 ½ years.

And they did it better.

When I walked in the door Friday evening, my first thought was, “Oh my! What’s that strange smell?” Um, yeah, it was the smell of clean.

Then I took off my shoes and walked down the hall…and almost fell on my face. My floor was so clean it was slick! (These are hardwood floors, not carpet, just in case you’re concerned.)

And then I spent the entire weekend picking up every piece of dirt and each crumb of food that we spilled onto my beautiful clean floors.

Because, really, who knows when we’ll be able to afford and/or justify this kind of luxury again. So I’d better keep it as clean as I can for as long as I can.

After all, my only other option is to actually clean it myself. And that just doesn’t seem right.

Image by swgrlimited

When you wish upon a star...

What happens when you wish for something to go back the way it was? You wish it with all your might, even though you know it can never be.

And then, the strangest thing happens...your wish comes true.

But it's not as great as you thought it would be. Not that it's bad, but it's just not...well, it's just not the same.

Have you ever felt that way?

Let's play a game today.

Let's lighten things up today. I've gotten this same forward several times, asking me to play a round of Scattergories using the first letter of my first name. I don't do forwards, but I do blog. So, I'll go first. Then it's your turn. Ready...go!

My name - Photoqueen
Boy name - Philip
4-letter word - Post
Girl name - Pamela
Occupation - Pharmacist
Color - Purple
Something you wear - Pants
Beverage - Pale Ale
Food - Pork chops
Something in the bathroom - Perfume
A place - Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
Reason for being late - Puked
Something you shout - Pass the salt!

(Well, I might shout that – you don’t know!)

It was harder to do this with my screen name, by the way! Feel free to use whatever name you'd like. Your given name, your middle name, your nickname, your boss's name, whatever. Leave your list in the comments!

We get by with a little help from our friends.

My friend, Katie, is offering FREE shipping

on any Mary Kay product ordered from her site

before Friday, January 23, 11:59 p.m. CST.

Katie is one of my best friends in the whole world. We met at church in the young marrieds Sunday school class about 5 years ago. She and her husband were assigned to our small group – lucky them.

Really, it was lucky us, because we got the chance to know this fun couple and be part of their lives.

We learned why they said they were from Kansas City, but had mysterious Southern accents. We learned that they’d been married as long as we had, even though Katie was – gasp! – the same age as my little brother. (And I thought I’d gotten married young!) We learned that they had hearts for outreach and ministry and their friends and each other. We learned that they each had a great sense of humor, even on the night we all ate the worst ribs ever…thanks to some mad grilling skillz. And we learned that they struggle with some of the same issues we do – dysfunctional families, imperfect marriage, struggling finances, the works.

Most importantly, we learned that this couple is what true church family means to us. They are friends of the heart. And we love them.

They moved halfway across the country two years ago, but thanks to the wonders of this Internet, we’ve stayed in touch, e-mailing everything from casual updates and funny stories to raging vents and heartfelt prayer requests.

On Sunday, I received the worst prayer request yet. Katie’s husband has been diagnosed with cancer.

"What? You want us to pose? You think we should hug?"
Our husbands have bonded through a love of beer and sarcasm...can you tell?

My dear friend is believing God through this situation – He is stronger than any cancer! But she’s understandably concerned about many things, from finding care for her three kids (ages 1, 3 and 4) while they’re in Houston to see a specialist to the unexpected expense of all this.

For the last year, Katie has been blessed by being able to contribute to her family’s finances by selling Mary Kay. Today, she’s like many of us and reluctant to ask for help. But she has asked me to help her with this one thing. She’s asked me to share with all my friends an offer of FREE SHIPPING on any Mary Kay product ordered from her website between now and this Friday, January 23.

I don’t actually use Mary Kay products but found a hands pampering set that I bought for my mom (nothing like having Mother’s Day covered in January!). So if you think you might be able to use anything Mary Kay and you can buy it this week, please visit my friend’s site.

Bearing one another’s burdens works for me. For more posts on what’s working today, visit Rocks in My Dryer.

Hail to the Chief: There’s a lot of tuba.

As I watched the inauguration this morning, I realized I was thinking less than charitable thoughts about pretty much everyone involved.

I imagined Bush heading home this afternoon to take Excedrin and a nap, perhaps chuckling at the burden Obama has taken on or possibly still bristling at the comments about much-needed change.

I rolled my eyes at the hype surrounding our new president, even saying to my co-worker that when expectations are so astronomically high, disappointment may not be inevitable, but it is likely.

Then I heard our President say this: “Now, there are some who question the scale of our ambitions – who suggest that our system cannot tolerate too many big plans. Their memories are short. For they have forgotten what this country has already done; what free men and women can achieve when imagination is joined to common purpose, and necessity to courage.” (CBS News)

Right then I realized: my cynicism was not showing a lack of faith in Barack Obama. No, it was showing a lack of faith in God, the One really in charge of it all. And it was showing a lack of faith in and loyalty to the country we call home.

So today I determined that I will have hope. Hope in our country, hope in our leaders and most importantly, hope in the God who rules all nations. Today I have hope.

(And today – in the headline – I made yet another Freaks & Geeks reference. I’m sorry. I’ll try to stop. It’s just hard, man, really hard.)

Image by Sumerset

Confessions and coupons

I have a confession. I have a Friday night ritual. It doesn’t involve drinks with the girls or a movie with my husband. No, every Friday night when Annalyn is in bed and Mark is still working, I lay on my couch and watch Wife Swap.

It’s a ridiculous show. But I watch it. And I like it.

Now that we have that out of the way…

In last Friday’s episode of Wife Swap, one of the moms was an avid coupon clipper. She often purchased cartfuls of groceries for $10. The other mom…not so much. She was a spender. And when she discovered the coupon hobby of her new family, she said, “What is this? A coupon disorder?”

I had to laugh at that comment, but the truth is, when I hear or read about coupon moms, I am amazed and overwhelmed and a little bit jealous. I am all for using coupons. I occasionally clip them myself, and my parents and our babysitter are always giving me coupons for diapers and wipes and all things baby.

But…I always forget to use the darn things!

Last weekend, my cousin told me she’s gotten really big into couponing. She has four young kids, so it makes a lot of sense to be more frugal. It sounds like she’s being more practical than some ladies I’ve read about – just buying things she will actually use and not driving around town to every single store each Saturday (hard to do with 6-month-old twins at home!). But she was still able to give each of us a parting gift before we left her house on Saturday night – tubes of toothpaste that she had gotten virtually free (in bulk!).

I have not been good at using coupons, even though I constantly struggle to stay within my grocery budget. What about you? Do you use coupons?

There’s got to be a morning after

Photo by uncommonmuse.

When something bad happens, sleep becomes both an enemy and an escape. Climbing into bed after an emotionally draining day, I know that sleep will heal my body and my heart.

But often, I don’t want to go to sleep. Not yet. Not really. Because if I go to sleep, then I will have to wake up. And if I wake up, the world will be there. Waiting to pounce. Waiting to shout, “Nope! That wasn’t just a bad dream. It’s reality. It’s your life. This is happening.”

This is how I felt last night. Tired and knowing that the morning and the work week were growing ever closer. But unwilling to succumb to the escape and the healing, because what had happened yesterday was still going to be there when I woke up.

So I gave into my emotions, sobbing on Mark’s shoulder, getting up time and again to blow my nose, whimpering about the unfairness of it all. Knowing at the same time that I have no right to complain, because bad things happen to good people every single day. Knowing that, like my mother’s voice in my head still tells me, “Life isn’t fair, baby.”

Eventually, I had to go to sleep. And this morning, just like I knew it would, the world was waiting. But something had happened. Those few hours of sleep did refresh my soul, even if my body was regretting my childish refusal to go to bed on time.

And I remembered that God is still God. Who cares if the same heart-wrenching world is still here this morning? God is still here! And He’s still sovereign and merciful and good.

Last week, I started writing a post about going through the motions and lukewarm belief and standing outside the fire and how much I want to FEEL again.

The timing is interesting, because today I am most certainly feeling.

We found out yesterday that a good friend of ours has cancer. And I am feeling. Oh, how I’m feeling. But even though I went to bed afraid and angry last night, this morning is different. I’m still feeling. But I’m also believing. I’m believing God.

This post is linked to Blog Nosh Magazine’s first special-event carnival, which is sharing stories of hope this holiday season in support of the Tide Loads of Hope program, a mobile laundromat offering laundry services to families affected by disasters. Click on over for more stories of hope.

Oh yeah, and an update on our friend? After several weeks of treatment, including an extended stay in Houston, he is free and clear. In other words, he is healthy and God is good!

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Helpful hints for the writers in the group

Photo by austinevan

Mary DeMuth is a published writer and speaker, as well as a professional writing mentor. On her blog, So You Wanna Be Published, she’s just completed a five-part series about writing tips she gives the people she mentors. I found the list and her examples to be so practical and helpful, and thought I’d share.

Since so many of you are writing books. And because I like to promote excellent writing whenever I can.

Just like the nerd I am.

Mary’s series begins here. Her personal website is here. And her writing mentor business can be found here. From what I can tell (by reading her blog – and how else would I get to know someone?), she’s a smart, compassionate, Godly woman. I’ve already learned a lot from her, and I hope you can, too.

Now, the question part – for those of you writing books, how goes it in the new year?

If 150 million people jumped off a bridge, would you?

Illustration by Matt Hamm

Last week, Facebook announced a momentous achievement: as of January 7, the social networking site had 150 million members. According to the memo, “If Facebook were a country, it would be the eighth most populated in the world, just ahead of Japan, Russia and Nigeria.”

That’s a good visual, right?. A bit egotistical maybe, but it does illustrate the point. To put it even more simply, I'll borrow from the wisdom of Ron Burgundy. I don't know how to put this, but Facebook is kind of a big deal.

An article on Slate notes that anyone not playing along is missing out: “Sure, you can trade e-mail addresses or phone numbers, but in many circles Facebook is now the expected way to make these connections. By being on Facebook, you're facilitating such ties; without it, you're missing them and making life difficult for those who went looking for you there.”

Thanks to the long list of newsletters and blogs I subscribe to, I read daily about the importance, the prevalence, the necessity of using social media such as Facebook, Twitter, Digg and Delicious. It’s fascinating to see all this develop, and frustrating at the same time.

How are we supposed to keep up?

So I thought I’d ask you today – what social media sites do you like? Which ones seem like a waste of time? Is everyone you know on Facebook or Twitter? Do you think this craze will ever end, just like our dedication to recording TV shows on a VCR and tight-rolling our jeans?

It is I, princess: Carlos the Dwarf.

Back in May, I read a Newsweek article about popularity. A psychologist from the University of Virginia conducted a study and found that a child’s actual popularity may not be the only indicator of social success later in life. It turns out that believing you’re popular just may be enough. According to the article, this finding is consistent with “a growing body of research suggesting that our perception of how we fit into the social world is just as important – if not more important – than our real-life position in the social world.”

After watching more than a dozen hours of Freaks and Geeks, a show focusing on the brutal realities of life outside high school’s popular crowd, I’m convinced this is true. The times the characters (both freaks and geeks) were most conflicted was when they pondered their status, figuring out with what group of people they belonged and what that said about them as individuals. Toward the end of the series, Sam (a freshman and a sci-fi-loving geek, despite his brief relationship with a cheerleader) started feeling bad about his nerdiness, while Lindsay spent the entire series searching for her identity with the mathletes, the burnouts and the Deadheads.

The idea that how we see ourselves determines our level of satisfaction or success also makes sense when I compare my memories of high school with those of my friends. At our class reunion a couple years ago, the subject of popularity (predictably) came up. I had to laugh when we realized that while several of my friends didn’t consider us to be popular back in the day, I did. And that fact may just explain why my memories of high school are a little rosier than some of theirs!

Disclaimer: I am not in any way saying I was, indeed, the most popular girl in school. After all, I can’t pretend like nominating myself for Homecoming queen – and then not actually getting a nomination – just didn’t happen. (I know. Sad story.) But I had a lot of friends and we had a lot of fun, and for me, that’s good enough.

With that in mind (the study and its findings, not my debatable popularity), consider the impact our thinking can have on us long-term. The way our perceptions – whether they’re accurate or not – can build us up or drag us down. The way our own minds can betray us and hurt us…or support us and empower us.

In my more rational moments, I have to admit that this power we have over ourselves and the way we so often use it with bad effects is crazy! We are fearfully and wonderfully made by a Holy God! So what is my problem?

See, even though I have a pretty good handle on a few aspects of my life and my status and my position in the social world, I still struggle mightily with negative self-talk and assuming that I’m less [insert desirable quality here] than I really am. I don’t think I’m the only one, so I’m tossing around some ideas about how to use the community we have here in the blogosphere to tackle this issue. So stay tuned. I’ll be posting my grand scheme – I mean, ideas – soon.

Oh, and Carlos the Dwarf? That’s the D&D character that bad boy Daniel Desario got when he spent an evening with the geeks. Throughout most the series, Daniel bought into the belief that he was an outsider, a loser, a waste of space. But when he stopped listening to the cloud of voices telling him he was stupid for one night, he learned that he possessed the ability to succeed – and rescue the princess – all along.