It is I, princess: Carlos the Dwarf.

Back in May, I read a Newsweek article about popularity. A psychologist from the University of Virginia conducted a study and found that a child’s actual popularity may not be the only indicator of social success later in life. It turns out that believing you’re popular just may be enough. According to the article, this finding is consistent with “a growing body of research suggesting that our perception of how we fit into the social world is just as important – if not more important – than our real-life position in the social world.”

After watching more than a dozen hours of Freaks and Geeks, a show focusing on the brutal realities of life outside high school’s popular crowd, I’m convinced this is true. The times the characters (both freaks and geeks) were most conflicted was when they pondered their status, figuring out with what group of people they belonged and what that said about them as individuals. Toward the end of the series, Sam (a freshman and a sci-fi-loving geek, despite his brief relationship with a cheerleader) started feeling bad about his nerdiness, while Lindsay spent the entire series searching for her identity with the mathletes, the burnouts and the Deadheads.

The idea that how we see ourselves determines our level of satisfaction or success also makes sense when I compare my memories of high school with those of my friends. At our class reunion a couple years ago, the subject of popularity (predictably) came up. I had to laugh when we realized that while several of my friends didn’t consider us to be popular back in the day, I did. And that fact may just explain why my memories of high school are a little rosier than some of theirs!

Disclaimer: I am not in any way saying I was, indeed, the most popular girl in school. After all, I can’t pretend like nominating myself for Homecoming queen – and then not actually getting a nomination – just didn’t happen. (I know. Sad story.) But I had a lot of friends and we had a lot of fun, and for me, that’s good enough.

With that in mind (the study and its findings, not my debatable popularity), consider the impact our thinking can have on us long-term. The way our perceptions – whether they’re accurate or not – can build us up or drag us down. The way our own minds can betray us and hurt us…or support us and empower us.

In my more rational moments, I have to admit that this power we have over ourselves and the way we so often use it with bad effects is crazy! We are fearfully and wonderfully made by a Holy God! So what is my problem?

See, even though I have a pretty good handle on a few aspects of my life and my status and my position in the social world, I still struggle mightily with negative self-talk and assuming that I’m less [insert desirable quality here] than I really am. I don’t think I’m the only one, so I’m tossing around some ideas about how to use the community we have here in the blogosphere to tackle this issue. So stay tuned. I’ll be posting my grand scheme – I mean, ideas – soon.

Oh, and Carlos the Dwarf? That’s the D&D character that bad boy Daniel Desario got when he spent an evening with the geeks. Throughout most the series, Daniel bought into the belief that he was an outsider, a loser, a waste of space. But when he stopped listening to the cloud of voices telling him he was stupid for one night, he learned that he possessed the ability to succeed – and rescue the princess – all along.

You can call me “Guardian of the Palace”

A good friend of ours has recently joined the FBI. I wasn’t surprised when he and his wife told us about this adventure they were beginning; our friend was a history teacher with a higher-than-the-average-bear interest in politics and an unswerving devotion to justice and fairness and right. So seeing him as a G-man made sense.

The last time our friends were over for dinner before they moved to their new, assigned home, they told us how much they’d loved the time they spent in Washington, D.C., over the summer as he wrapped up his training and first assignment.

Then they proceeded to point out what they’d written on the front of the postcard they sent us from D.C. (It was on the fridge, of course. And no, I didn’t put it up there right before they came over! Like I’d do that?! Hmph.) There, on top of the White House was #47. I felt a little dumb when they said, “You know what that means, right?” I had assumed it was the number of their apartment, sort of a special D.C. return address. Okay, so I barely noticed it and when I did, I really didn’t wonder too long what it meant. I’m not sure what that says about me.

Anyway, they said that would be the number President he would be – hence the notation over the White House! Aha!

Sure, sure, it seems obvious now.

Apparently, they thought this was hilarious and had put a lot of thought (and complicated math) into figuring out how many years between now and his FBI retirement, adding a term as a governor and then determining when exactly he’d be elected President of the United States.

And then he said this: “And you’d be my Chief of Staff, of course.”

Whoa, nelly! Hold the phone! Umm (she whispers, guiltily, reluctantly, wishing she remembered more of 7th grade civics class), what’s a Chief of Staff do? I mean, for fear of sounding like Sarah Palin pre-nomination, I’m really not sure what this high-falutin’ position is responsible for!

So, of course my response was: “Uh, yeah! Absolutely! I’ll be your Chief of Staff! Sign me up! Rock on!” (My brain may have been affected by large numbers of tacos at that point. So I really can’t be blamed – no, blame the tacos.)

I decided that I’d better so some research, just in case this pipe dream ever comes true. It turns out, the White House Chief of Staff is pretty much in charge of the entire free world. Also known as the highest ranking member of the Executive Office. Also known as the second-most powerful man in Washington. Hmmm.

Perhaps I shouldn’t sign on the dotted line just yet…

Today I remembered this conversation and looked up the chief of staff position for a governor’s office. After all, I figured, that’s where we’d start, right? After he retires from the FBI and I’ve made my mark on the world of publishing?

The very long document I found from the National Governors Association describes the duties of this position in detail, including the following responsibilities: chief operating officer, office manager, chief strategist, policy advisor, gubernatorial vicar, guardian of the palace, headhunter, crisis coordinator and personal confidant. And then – here’s the good part – it talks about coordinating with the governor’s spouse. Oh, good! My friend’s wife is actually one of my best friends, so we’ll have much fun coordinating. I’m not sure what we’ll coordinate, but by golly, it will be fun.

I’m not sure this will ever happen. As Mark pointed out, our friend may have the most noble of intentions and highest qualifications, but he’s not made of money. And it takes a lot of dough to run a big campaign for office. So, I’ll probably never be Chief of Staff.

Although, the job description sounds a lot like organizing, planning, talking and bossing around – areas in which I tend to excel. Especially the bossing around part.

So, I guess if my editing dreams don’t pan out, I’ve always got another option…

Your turn: What crazy career dreams do you have? No, not the realistic kind - I want to hear the outlandish, ridiculous and just plain crazy ones!

"If at first, the idea is not absurd, then there is no hope for it.”

I have a habit of coming up with harebrained ideas. Well, it's possible that not all my ideas are crazy. Some are just lame, some are expensive, some are impossible, some are reasonable and a few might just be great.

And one of my favorite things about my husband is the way he indulges me whenever I get an idea. He lets me talk it out, think it through, make plans and dream dreams. And when I realize that my idea probably won't work out, he never says a word. Well, actually, sometimes he even argues that yes, it can work!

One of my latest ideas has to do with salsa. I love Mexican food, and I'm especially interested in salsa. I love nachos, and any kind of cheese dip makes me happy, but salsa comes in so many shapes and flavors. I don't know what makes one salsa different from the next one, and I'm not sure which ingredients make a salsa taste smoky or sweet or spicy. But I know that there are dozens - hundreds? - of types of salsa.

So my idea is that just like bars and wineries offer tastings and classes to teach you about the different flavors (tones, aromas, ??) in wine, there should be a place that offers salsa tasting classes.

Turns out, after a quick Google search, others have already had this idea. So on one hand, that means it couldn't be my worst idea, right?

I'm not really going to start up a company that teaches people about salsa. I mean, even if people are doing it in a few places, it's probably not the most lucrative business. But I could probably educate myself about salsa. I'd have to start there anyway.

So that's my plan. My revised idea. I'm going to learn about salsa - what spices and ingredients work best, what recipes taste the best, how to make different types of salsa. I'll let you know what I learn!

* The quote in my title is from Albert Einstein.