
A good friend of ours has recently joined the FBI. I wasn’t surprised when he and his wife told us about this adventure they were beginning; our friend was a history teacher with a higher-than-the-average-bear interest in politics and an unswerving devotion to justice and fairness and right. So seeing him as a
G-man made sense.
The last time our friends were over for dinner before they moved to their new, assigned home, they told us how much they’d loved the time they spent in Washington, D.C., over the summer as he wrapped up his training and first assignment.
Then they proceeded to point out what they’d written on the front of the postcard they sent us from D.C. (It was on the fridge, of course. And no, I didn’t put it up there right before they came over! Like I’d do that?! Hmph.) There, on top of the White House was #47. I felt a little dumb when they said, “You know what that means, right?” I had assumed it was the number of their apartment, sort of a special D.C. return address. Okay, so I barely noticed it and when I did, I really didn’t wonder too long what it meant. I’m not sure what that says about me.
Anyway, they said that would be the number President he would be – hence the notation over the White House! Aha!
Sure, sure, it seems obvious now.
Apparently, they thought this was hilarious and had put a lot of thought (and complicated math) into figuring out how many years between now and his FBI retirement, adding a term as a governor and then determining when exactly he’d be elected President of the United States.
And then he said this: “And you’d be my Chief of Staff, of course.”
Whoa, nelly! Hold the phone! Umm (she whispers, guiltily, reluctantly, wishing she remembered more of 7th grade civics class), what’s a Chief of Staff
do? I mean, for fear of sounding like
Sarah Palin pre-nomination, I’m really not sure what this high-falutin’ position is responsible for!
So, of course my response was: “Uh, yeah! Absolutely! I’ll be your Chief of Staff! Sign me up! Rock on!” (My brain may have been affected by large numbers of tacos at that point. So I really can’t be blamed – no, blame the tacos.)
I decided that I’d better so some research, just in case this pipe dream ever comes true. It turns out, the
White House Chief of Staff is pretty much in charge of the entire free world. Also known as the highest ranking member of the Executive Office. Also known as the second-most powerful man in Washington. Hmmm.
Perhaps I shouldn’t sign on the dotted line just yet…
Today I remembered this conversation and looked up the chief of staff position for a governor’s office. After all, I figured, that’s where we’d start, right? After he retires from the FBI and I’ve made my mark on the world of publishing?
The very long
document I found from the National Governors Association describes the duties of this position in detail, including the following responsibilities: chief operating officer, office manager, chief strategist, policy advisor, gubernatorial vicar, guardian of the palace, headhunter, crisis coordinator and personal confidant. And then – here’s the good part – it talks about coordinating with the governor’s spouse. Oh, good! My friend’s wife is actually one of my best friends, so we’ll have much fun coordinating. I’m not sure what we’ll coordinate, but by golly, it will be fun.
I’m not sure this will ever happen. As Mark pointed out, our friend may have the most noble of intentions and highest qualifications, but he’s not made of money. And it takes a lot of dough to run a big campaign for office. So, I’ll probably never be Chief of Staff.
Although, the job description sounds a lot like organizing, planning, talking and bossing around – areas in which I tend to excel. Especially the bossing around part.
So, I guess if my editing dreams don’t pan out, I’ve always got another option…
Your turn: What crazy career dreams do you have? No, not the realistic kind - I want to hear the outlandish, ridiculous and just plain crazy ones!