More Than Defined: Must a Big Reader be Well-Read?

“Yeah, it IS a nerdy thing to do. I mean, to read for your job all day
and then read a book at lunch? On your break?”

That was, basically, what a co-worker said to me yesterday. And she’s right, I suppose. Reading is a nerdy hobby.

But it’s my hobby.

According to my mom, I started reading at a young age and pretty much haven’t stopped since. Growing up, I heard this phrase all the time: “Get your nose out of that book!”

Actually, I still hear that phrase. In my head.

I don’t think my love of reading is an addiction or anything, but on the other hand, I can’t NOT do it. If I’m sitting at the breakfast table without a book or magazine, I will read coupons, cereal boxes, anything.

Okay, so maybe I have a problem.

But that’s not the point of this post. My point is that I consider myself a reader. I read all the time. I read a ton of things: parenting magazines, mysteries, self-help books, marketing articles, blog posts, women’s magazines, and yes, even the occasional romance novel.

However, when it comes to the classics? The books that other “big readers” assume you’ve read?

Um…I haven’t. (Don’t tell!)

I don’t know what happened. I think I’ll blame my small-town education. Then again, the few classics I’ve read – Of Mice and Men, To Kill a Mockingbird, Romeo & Juliet – were a result of assignments in high school. I read a few short stories and plays in my American Literature and Theater Appreciation classes in college.

Other than that, though? My list of classics is embarrassingly short.

Do you think a person can be a “big reader” even if she’s not classically well-read? And what classics should I put on my to-read list?

Is she bright, so well read? Are there novels by her bed?
(Natalie Merchant, Jealousy)

For more More Than Defined, read about why I consider myself Generation X, Southern, patriotic and cool and nerdy.


This post contains affiliate links.

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The Problem with Romance Novels, part two

We sat shoulder to shoulder in a tiny dorm room around a tiny TV, watching one of our favorite movies. Just as Johnny marched over to Baby and pulled her out of the corner, our friend Jared walked in the room.

As he took in the room, looking from one girl to the next . . . to the next . . . to the next, he said, “What is wrong with you guys?”

Blinking, we looked up at him and realization dawned. Every single one of us was staring at the screen with a [ridiculous] dreamy look in our eyes. It was like we were in a trance.

The same kind of romance trance I slip into when I read romance novels.

The kind where my eyes glaze over and I forget that what I’m reading is make-believe. It might be grown-up make-believe, but it’s no closer to real life than the magic fairies and flying carpets my daughter sees in Disney movies.

For most of my life, I prided myself on being “a romantic.” I dreamed of receiving gigantic bouquets of roses and daisies, song lyrics made me melt, and I pretended to adore Shakespeare. I ate up any hint of love – or what I thought was love.

But surely it must be! After all, my boyfriend – who eventually became my husband – gave me roses. And wrote sweet letters that included lyrics from our favorite songs. And endured a Shakespeare play amidst mosquitoes and humidity.

The problem is that romance novels (and romantic comedies . . . and fairy tales in general) don’t tell you the rest of the story.

First of all, most relationships don’t follow such a wild path, from meet cute to starry-eyed, tingling toes dates to dramatic tear-them-apart situation to brave, bold, courageous move from The Hero to heart-stopping kiss . . . and fade to black.

Sometimes, you just meet a guy and think he’s all right. Sometimes, you don’t necessarily have the hots for him right away, but he’s got a car and nobody else is asking you out. Sometimes you go on predictable dates and have uninspired conversations with a startling lack of clever quips.

That’s what my first (and only) romance looked like. So you know what I did? I created drama.

I overreacted to every slight and insult. I prolonged misunderstandings and vowed to make him pay for every twinge of hurt I felt. I sobbed while listening to “How Do I Live Without You” and wrote flowery letters professing my undying love until my hand cramped.

Honestly, I deserved to be dumped. But I lucked out. Mark either didn’t know any better or just overlooked my craziness. Because despite my adolescent behavior (for the record, I was an adolescent), he married me.

And that’s where the love story ends, right?

Not exactly. Even though, while you’re spending every waking (and some sleeping) second planning the most beautiful, special, wonderful wedding EVER, it seems like the wedding is the goal, it’s not.

It’s just the beginning of a true love story.

Unfortunately, I didn’t know anything about true love. I didn’t know about compromise and respect and trust and forgiveness. I knew about flowers and chocolates and surprise dates and grand gestures.

Imagine my surprise when married life wasn’t an endless parade of love notes and slow dances and secret getaways. Imagine my disappointment when marriage wasn’t what I expected, wasn’t what I hoped for, wasn’t what I deserved.

SCREECH! {That’s the sound effect for tires squealing.} Hold on! Why did I think I deserved such lavish and loving treatment?

Here’s why: a lifelong diet of romance novels (with a side of feminist influences and a mostly doting boyfriend) had led me to believe that I could behave however I wanted to and still get everything I wanted in return.

I developed a classic case of He needs to change. He’s the problem. I deserve better.

Now, I’m not saying my husband is or was perfect. But had I spent more time showing him love and respect, and less time coming up with reason why he didn’t deserve those things as much as I did, I might have enjoyed the first several years of our marriage more.

My grasp on reality and perspective on love didn’t change overnight. I started realizing maybe I’d had some things wrong when we visited a marriage counselor a few times. And things looked different after we watched several of our couple friends go through divorce. Of course, having a child changes a lot of people, and it certainly changed us.

And now, I have no desire to read a romance novel.

Haha! Just kidding. That’s not true. I still enjoy romance. Most the books I read these days – at least the fiction – are mysteries with a romantic aspect. And you probably won’t ever rip me away from watching Sleepless in Seattle or even The Wedding Planner on cable.

But I read and watch those things with a grain of salt now. Or, as my patient husband says, with a salt lick.

Because the love described in romance novels isn’t real. And it can be dangerous if you start believing that’s how things ought to be.

And that is the problem with romance novels.

Read the book and articles that prompted this two-part post (see part one here):

• Jane Austen Ruined My Life by Beth Pattillo
• Emotional Pornography by Pete Wilson
• The Dangers of Emotional Pornography in Relevant Magazine
• Does Fiction Rule Your Marriage? at Blissfully Domestic
• I See the World Through Rose-Colored Glasses by Sarah

What do you think? Can fictional romance be dangerous? How do you define true love?

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The Problem with Romance Novels

I’m not sure what the book was doing in the elementary school library in the first place. With a main character who was 13 years old, it seems more appropriate for the middle school.

At least, it does now.

When I was in second or third grade and allowed to check out books from the fourth grade shelves because of my advanced reading skills, a book called “I Was a 98-Pound Duckling” seemed completely appropriate to me.

My mom did not agree.

The book’s description – according to openlibrary.org, not my memory – explains why: A 13-year-old who suffers from several "beauty problems" improves her self-image after a brief summer romance.

Not exactly the best choice for an 8-year-old.

Little did my mom know that was not the last time I would read an age-inappropriate book. From hiding Harlequin novels in my desk throughout middle school to discovering Danielle Steele at my first job (at a library – are you surprised?) in high school, I was hooked on romance and I indulged early and often.

Since I’ve mentioned more than once my love of chick flicks, a.k.a. romantic comedies, you have probably assumed that this romance addiction didn’t end with adolescence.

If so, you would be right.

Even throughout the early – and, okay, not so early – years of my marriage, I often lost myself in a paperback book that I’d be embarrassed to be seen reading.

You wouldn’t believe how excited I was when our library started allowing patrons to check out their own books with the automatic scanner. Now I could read all the trashy romances I wanted – and nobody would know!

I read all sorts of romance novels. Sure, I read the trashy ones, the ones I lay face down on my coffee table. But I also read tons of Christian romances (anyone else remember the Palisades Pure Romance books?).

Smutty or wholesome – it didn’t matter. Whether the main characters parted with a chaste kiss on the front porch or tumbled straight into bed, the premise of each book was the same.

The love – the romance – shared by the main characters of each story was breathtaking. The kind that sweeps you off your feet. That happens at first sight. That conquers all and lasts forever and solves mysteries and makes babies and cures cancer and wins wars.

And it happened to characters that, no matter if they were cowboys or prostitutes or knights or duchesses or veterinarians or florists or lawyers, the reader can easily identify with.

Unfortunately, I consumed those books, that premise, those characters the same way I consume Doritos or Oreos: in mass quantity without thinking.

The whole time I was gulping down those books, I was building – and reinforcing – a belief system. I was learning about love, about men and women, about relationships. And I was creating a whole lot of expectations.

Am I stupid? Or gullible? No. I knew, full and well, that those books were works of fiction. I knew that they were no more real than the Disney movies I watched with my little brother.

But even though I knew those stories weren’t real, after a while, I started believing them anyway. After you’ve read dozens, possibly hundreds, of books about strong, brave, sensitive and romantic men, you start to think that maybe that’s the norm. After you’ve read so many stories about love that can move mountains and turn back time and inspire poetry, you start to think that maybe that’s the way love is supposed to be.

Maybe those men do exist. Maybe that kind of love is possible. Maybe that’s what I deserve.

And that is where the trouble starts.

Stay tuned until next week for more on The Problem with Romance Novels.

Do you read romance novels?

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Saturday Review: The Hole in Our Gospel

The first time I heard about The Hole in Our Gospel was in a blog post by Pete Wilson when he went to India with Compassion. He said it rocked his world.

That scared me. And intrigued me.

So when the book became available for review, I jumped on it. And then put it off. For almost a year.

I’m not exaggerating this time. I took the book with me on vacation. Last June.

See, Pete wasn’t the only person I’d heard talk about this book. Written by Richard Stearns, the CEO of World Vision, the book’s subtitle is “What Does God Expect of Us? The Answer That Changed My Life and Might Just Change the World.”

Yikes. Does that not intimidate you??

Eleven months later, I’ve finally finished The Hole in Our Gospel. Actually, I finished it a while ago, but I’ve been letting it settle in my soul.

I’m still pretty unsettled, if you want to know the truth, but it’s time to review the book.

Richard Stearns begins The Hole in Our Gospel with his personal story. It’s an incredible one, and it blew me away. He was a very wealthy, very successful CEO of a corporation when God CALLED him to World Vision.

I don’t want to ruin the story by telling you the details. You really need to read it yourself! I’ll just tell you this: God is amazing, and Stearns’ story is an amazing testimony to that fact.

The middle part of the book contains fact after statistic after story, illustrating exactly how bad the poverty in our world is. One thing Stearns pointed out that I hadn’t realized (okay, he pointed out TONS of things I hadn’t realized, but this one struck me in particular): the deficit between the richest and the poorest people is HUGE. Ridiculously huge.

In the last part of the book, Stearns offers suggestions for addressing this problem, and what has stuck with me most was his encouragement to not get overwhelmed and apathetic.

Even though he spent many pages breaking the heart of his reader, he doesn’t want to stop there. He wants us to act. To actually – don’t be shocked – live like Jesus.

This book was challenging. It was eye-opening. It was HARD to read.

And I’m so glad I did.

I highly recommend reading The Hole in Our Gospel by Richard Stearns. But don’t be surprised if it changes your heart, too!

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I've lost that loving feeling.

No, not that loving feeling.

I mean my love of reading. And I wouldn’t say I’ve necessarily lost it yet. But it’s definitely not as fun as it used to be. Unfortunately, I know why.

The culprit? Too many book reviews. Too many books on my must-read list that are also on my must-review list. Too many books stacked next to my bed that don’t look quite as fun or interesting or moving now that they arrived in my mailbox. Too many books that do look fun or interesting or moving, but because they’re a “to-do” instead of a “wanna,” I just don’t feel like reading them.

Book reviews are sapping the enjoyment straight out of my reading these days.

It’s not that I don’t like the books I’ve read and reviewed. Once I've managed to start them, I've loved almost every one. I wouldn’t suggest them to you if I didn’t like them.

But they aren’t necessarily the books I would pick out for myself. And, as Chelley has heard me say more than she likes, I’ve got a towering stack of books that I have picked out for myself already waiting for me.

And because I’ve committed to review them, they come with a price. Sure, the books are free. Unless you count the expectation that I will, you know, read them, take notes and then post an honest, well-written review.

That’s a lot of pressure, you all.

I know that sounds crazy. But the way I normally read – super fast, sometimes [don’t judge me] even skipping the boring parts and for pure escapist pleasure – is not conducive to deep thoughts or insights.

Much as I enjoy free books – especially books that I wouldn’t necessarily have picked up myself or would have waited years to borrow from the library – I don’t think the “free” part of this deal is working out for me.

And that is why I’m going to stop doing book reviews.

[Insert dramatic music here, if you like that sort of thing.]

Okay, okay. I realize it’s not really an earth-shattering announcement. Unless you’re my mailman, and then you might be glad for fewer boxes to deliver.

I’m not saying I will never review another book. [Let's be honest: sharing my opinions is kind of what I do.] I’m just saying I’m not going to do any right now.

[Unless you count the book I’m reviewing tomorrow. But that’s the last one. For realz.]

So, what do you think?

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Does God have a Plan B for my life (and yours?)

I have a cedar chest that my parents got me when I was 12. It’s filled with old medals and photos and art projects. It’s also filled with notebooks and journals and one small diary with a lousy lock I’m not sure ever worked.

The diary was a gift in middle school, I think, and I scribbled my deepest thoughts all over it. (You know, because I assumed the lock worked.)

One entry is funny today (okay, let’s be honest, a lot of old diary entries are funny today!), because in it I wrote about the four possible scenarios I saw for my future (adult) life. I wrote about great romance and independence and big families and amazing careers.

Never once did I think that I would:

• Be laid off from the job I’d worked toward for several years
• Have such a scary pregnancy with my first child that I’m scared to have another one
• Step out in faith to help plant a church only to be devastated when it failed
• Acquire so much credit card debt that it would take consolidation and several years of huge payments to pay it off

And, of course, the list goes on. I’m not saying that to be negative. Of course I have a similar list of the wonderful things that have happened that I never dreamed – and it’s way longer, just so you know. But the life I’m living today is nowhere near the life I planned or expected or hoped for.

I’m pretty sure I’m not alone in that. And Pete Wilson has written a book about this very thing. Here’s a summary of his book, Plan B:

Learn how God often does His best work in our most hopeless situations.

What do you do when a shattered dream or an unmet expectation causes you to turn to Plan B? Pastor and author Pete Wilson uses real life stories of disappointments and tragedy along with biblical stories such as David, Joseph, and Ruth to help readers face their own overwhelming situations and through them to learn God is working to help them surrender their plans to receive His. He identifies our common responses to difficulties and offers hope, helping us to understand what God might be up to.

See how surrender helps us to receive God's plan Embrace the community of believers Reconcile a God of love with a life of tragedy and suffering Wilson points readers to the cross as not just the starting line but the centerpiece of our stories with God where we turn in our Plan B and find the undeniable relationship between crisis and true spiritual transformation.

Do you know Pete? Of course, I don’t mean, do you know him, know him. I mean, do you read his blog (Without Wax) or follow him on Twitter (@pwilson)? He’s the pastor of a large church in Nashville, and I started reading him (following him? stalking him?) a couple years ago.

When I heard that he was writing a book called, “Plan B,” I was so excited. I feel like my life is a whole lot of Plan B, and I couldn’t wait to hear what Pete had to say about God’s role in that.

Because apparently I’m not the only one who has asked God, “Why is this happening? Don’t you know that I had other plans? And THIS isn’t it?!”

I’ll be honest. In true “giving up on perfect” fashion, I haven’t finished reading the book yet. I’m a fast reader, but when I know a book is going to be important, I force myself to slow down and really concentrate on each chapter.

But even though I’m just about halfway through “Plan B,” I can tell you already: it is good. And it is going to make a difference in my life.

In the first couple of chapters, I thought, “This is fine. I enjoy Pete’s writing, and I suppose he has some good points in here.” But I was actually a little disappointed. (Poor Pete. I really had high expectations for his book!)

Then I got to Chapter Six. And he starts talking about God’s will.

I found myself re-reading several pages – not because I didn’t understand them the first time, but because what he was saying was so important (to me) that I wanted to make sure the words fully sank in.

And that wasn’t even enough. I dog-eared the page so I could go back later!

I have a feeling I’ll be dog-earing and highlighting a lot more pages as I move deeper into the book. Yes, I like Pete’s writing. He’s conversational and honest and funny. But more importantly, he’s sharing something that I need to hear, something God wants us to understand, and something he (Pete, not God) has learned through his own life experiences.

If any part of your life hasn’t turned out the way you thought it would or should, I recommend reading Plan B by Pete Wilson. You can learn more about the book on its website, www.planbbook.com, including this video.

Have you ever had to face a Plan B in your life?

Side note: Pete lives in Nashville, which has been slammed with crazy rains and flooding this last weekend. He's posted on his blog about ways people - both local and across the country - can help.

Disclosure: I received this book free as part of Thomas Nelson’s Booksneeze program.

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Science lab, mysteries and a book review

Eighth grade was the first year we had science lab. Not being particularly inclined toward the sciences (do not even get me started on College Chemistry), I only remember two things.

One, our teacher had pigs – in a jar. And two, I was paired up with Trevor. And I did not like Trevor. I don’t remember where those feelings came from, but I remember feeling them. Strongly.

However, while I couldn’t tell you for the life of me what pickled pigs have to do with, well, anything, I can tell you what I learned from Trevor.

One day in science lab, I noticed that Trevor had a book. That still strikes me as odd, but whatever. I thought it looked interesting, and he said it was. Then he actually loaned it to me. From the moment I opened up Sue Grafton’s H is for Homicide, I was hooked.

I’d always been an avid reader and a huge fan of series, but until then I’d stuck with young adult books. Important fiction like those epic novels written by R.L. Stine. But after reading the gritty, complicated mystery by Grafton, those simplistic books didn’t do it for me anymore.

Wouldn’t it be nice if I could end this random story by telling you that Trevor and I became the best of friends after that? Well, we didn’t. But I don’t remember carrying my torch of hatred onto high school, so maybe sharing that book did bridge somehow bridge a gap. Whatever that gap was in the first place.

Today I still love reading mysteries. My favorites are political thrillers, although I eat up the cop/detective stories, like James Patterson’s Women’s Murder Club series (yes, another series).

But sometimes the gore and worldliness gets to me. Jonathan Kellerman used to be one of my favorite authors, harking back to my days as a psychology major. But in the past few years, I haven’t been able to enjoy – or in the case of his last book, finish – his books because the situations and people he describes are just too awful.

That’s where good Christian mysteries come in. However, that phrase, “good Christian mysteries,” is more often an oxymoron than not. Which is why I was so excited to discover Diann Mills’ Call of Duty series.

[Yes, another series. I also buy multiples in different colors when I find a pair of shoes or pants I like.]

This series, like the O’Malley books from Dee Henderson – which I LOVED, features characters with real flaws and real problems. The dialogue is authentic, the mysteries can’t be solved in the fourth chapter, and the Christian part of the book doesn’t hit you over the head with preachiness. In short, Mills writes good Christian mysteries.

Here’s the summary for Sworn to Protect (Call of Duty Series, Book 2):

Border Patrol Agent Danika Morales has sworn to protect the southern borders of our nation, but that oath has cost her. Two years ago, her husband, Toby, was killed trying to help the very immigrants Danika was responsible for sending back to Mexico. His murder was never solved. But now, a recent string of attacks and arrests leads her to believe that someone in McAllen is profiting from sneaking undocumented immigrants into the country . . . and it may somehow be tied to Toby's death.

If you like mysteries but appreciate a smart, moving story more than CSI details of human horror, I highly recommend this book and this series.

Do you like mysteries? And what about [here comes the “whammy” question] Christian fiction? What are you reading right now?

Disclosure: This book was provided for review by the Christian Fiction Blog Alliance, and this post includes Amazon affiliate links.

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Stuff Christians Like: The “Is that contestant on American Idol a Christian Scorecard”

25. After they make the final 12, they thank God = + 1 point (You'd think this one would be worth more points, but everyone on the planet thanks God when they're excited. Rappers have kind of made this one hard to call.)

To add up your score with more than 130 other ideas on this scorecard, visit Stuff Christians Like.

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That’s funny, right? If you like Stuff Christians Like, the blog, you’ll love Stuff Christians Like, the book. And in honor of both my blog anniversary and Jon’s blog tour, I’m giving away a copy.

Edited to add: I'm reading this book right now and just about spit milk out of my mouth this morning when I read, "I don't know if sweat is a spiritual gift, but I've got it."

Oh my. So do I. So. Do. I. 

How do I enter this amazing contest?

Why, I’m so glad you asked! Just leave a comment, telling me the funniest thing you’ve read online lately. For additional chances to win, follow Stuff Christians Like or me (or both!) on Twitter – and tell me in a separate comment.

I'll use Random.org to draw a winner of all this week's giveaways after midnight (CST) on Friday.

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Book Review & a Question

Sometimes I wish I’d been an English major. Partly so I knew more about writing and partly so, when I say that I’m a big reader and people ask me if I’ve read [fill in the blank with a classic that everyone but me has read], I could say yes.

But I wasn’t. So while I love writing and reading and remember most of the English terms essential to my daily life, such as “gerund” and “participle,” I don’t know how to describe a certain type of writing.

I’ll get to that in a minute. (It will be the question I mentioned in my title, and no pressure, but I’m really counting on you all to answer it.)

Back in 1997, an unknown author published a little book called . . . [wait for it] . . . Harry Potter and the Sorcerer’s Stone.

Remember when I mentioned not having read the books that everybody and their grandmother have read? Yeah . . . this would be one of them.

Much to my friend chelleybutton’s dismay. See, Chelley is a huge (HUGE!!) Harry Potter fan. And my lack of interest in her favorite book has been a point of slight contention between us for a while now.

She finally got me to read it, though – by giving me her copy of the book. (Don’t worry, Chelley, I know it’s just a loan!)

One night a few weeks ago, I’d finished my latest fluffy book, skimmed through my parenting magazines and didn’t feel like slogging through the serious Christian living book I’ve been nibbling on for months. So I picked up that colorful Harry Potter book and started reading.

Oh. My. Gosh. I loved it! I enjoyed fantasy books when I was younger, so this really was “my type” of book, even though I’d been protesting the exact opposite every time Chelley asked why I hadn’t read it yet. And it was so smart! And British. You know that automatically makes it better. I call it the Hugh Grant Effect.

I even found myself so absorbed in the story that one day at work, when our e-mail system temporarily crashed and I was inconvenienced trying to get a message to a co-worker in another part of the building, I actually found myself thinking, “I wish we had owls.”

Ha! I laughed so hard at myself and then, of course, told Chelley all about it. I knew she’d be thrilled that not only had I started reading her beloved book, but I was a teeny bit obsessed with it, too!

I finished it, and just in case someone else out there hasn’t read it yet either, I won’t give away anything about the ending. But I will say that I was surprised and realized I hadn’t given JK Rowling enough credit.

Chelley has loaned me copies of books 2-4 of the Harry Potter series, but I haven’t started the second book yet. I will, though. And while I’m pretty sure it won’t take me 13 years to get around to it, I told Chelley today that she may have a future fan in Annalyn. That kiddo loves picking the Harry Potter novels out of my three huge stacks of books and pretends to read them!

So here’s my question (were you wondering when I’d get around to that?): what do you call the kind of voice that Rowling uses in the book? That tone makes it clear that the story being told is a fantastical one, and it’s a little sardonic or amused. Like she knows what she’s telling us is ridiculous but it’s also wonderful, and she wants us to love it even if we’re laughing at it, too.

What is that?

One of my favorite fluffy writers, Kasey Michaels, writes a series about a female romance novelist whose main characters (a Regency heartthrob with a stuffy and semi-clueless butler-type sidekick) somehow come to life. The novelist realizes how crazy this is, but it’s happening anyway. And these silly (I know.) stories are told in the same type of tone that Harry Potter is.

So, what’s that called? Is there a technical term for it? Anyone? Bueller?

Feel free to mock me in the comments. Make fun of me for just now reading Harry Potter. Or wishing to be an English major. Or reading fluffy romance novels. Or admitting to reading fluffy romance novels.

Whatever. Just tell me if there’s a name for the type of voice or tone or SOMETHING that JK Rowling used to tell the Harry Potter story?!!

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Hear No Evil - winner!

Random.org picked #31 - Jenn Calling Home - to win a copy of Matthew Paul Turner's Hear No Evil.

Congratulations, Jenn! E-mail me your address, and I'll ship it to you.

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Book Review & Giveaway: Hear No Evil

A couple weeks ago, I flew to Nashville. (I may have mentioned it a time or 12 . . . you know . . . for that conference? Yeah.)

While I love traveling and was excited to go to Blissdom, I was not excited to get on a plane. I just don’t enjoy flying. (And that was before the whole Southwest/fat people/PR disaster thing that has me completely paranoid about my next flight.)

However, this time was different. I arrived at the airport with more than enough time to spare (I was not about to relive my missed flight from August!), and settled into my seat at the gate. From there I moved into my very own row on the plane, and after collecting my two bags, I parked it near a window for about an hour.

And the whole time, I was reading. And possibly looking a little weird, because more than once, I found myself laughing out loud.

It’s not unusual for me to lose myself and all track of time in a good book. But it is unusual for me to be so caught up that FLYING doesn’t even phase me.

The book? Hear No Evil by Matthew Paul Turner.

A month or so ago, I read his memoir about growing up in a fundamental Christian home, Churched. It was good, but not quite as funny as I’d expected. (It was more eye-opening than anything, because honestly, I had no idea churches like the one he described still exist outside of movies and TV shows poking fun at Christians.)

Hear No Evil, on the other hand, did not disappoint in the humor department. If you’ve read Matthew Paul Turner’s blog (Side note: Can I call him Matt? Does he really go by the full name? What if I shorten it to MPT? I just don’t know…), you know he leans toward the sarcastic side of funny.

And if you read this blog, you know that’s my kind of funny.

Hear No Evil tells the story of MPT’s journey in the world of Christian music. From a teenager whose mom forbids him to buy an Amy Grant tape to a journalist interviewing Amy Grant herself, this story is funny yet touching, relatable yet surprising, an easy read yet somewhat thought-provoking.

Here’s the summary, but keep reading for the giveaway part:

A collection of wise, compelling, and often uproariously funny essays built around the experience of music as a transformational element in a moment of truth, Hear No Evil mines Matthew Paul Turner’s humorous memories of his evangelical youth and invites readers to groove along on his journey.

From attending forbidden contemporary Christian concerts to moving to “Music City” Nashville, Hear No Evil chronicles Turner’s “life soundtrack” which morphs seamlessly into the stories of people, places, and experiences that have taught the music-editor-turned-author some new things about God, forced him out of his comfort zone, and introduced him to a fresh view of grace along the way.

If you’ve ever had the opening bars of a song transport you back in time or remind you of a pivotal spiritual moment, Matthew Paul Turner’s honest—and frequently hilarious—musings will strike a chord. Straightforward and amusing, Hear No Evil is an exploration of a life of faith lived to a personal soundtrack.

I’M GIVING AWAY ONE COPY OF THIS BOOK. Leave a comment for a chance to win. Leave a separate comment if you subscribe to this blog for a second chance to win. And leave a separate comment if you follow me on Twitter for a third chance to win. And leave yet another separate comment if you’ve joined my Facebook page for a fourth chance to win. I'll draw a name (a.k.a. use Random.org) on Sunday.

That’s a lot of chances. I’m just sayin’.

Does your life have a soundtrack? Tell us in the comments (all the many, many comments) what song – or songs! – would be on your soundtrack o’life.

Disclosure: This book was provided for review by the WaterBrook Multnomah Publishing Group.

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Random Readings, 1.23.10

You all, I am FRIED. My bad mood just got worse and worse today. My morning started with Annalyn waking up an hour early, then moved quickly into news that a client had blasted me for a small mistake that I’d already apologized for and offered to fix by emailing my bosses about it. And then I ended the evening by backing into a truck when leaving my friends’ house after what had been an otherwise lovely visit.

So. These links are about as random as can be, and I don’t even think I can offer you much explanation. Please just know I’ve been collecting them all week, and for various reasons, I think you need to know about each and every item. Enjoy.

• Shelly began a series about intentional parenting, and I can’t wait to read her insights. She’s a wise lady who is raising teenaged girls, and since I know I’ll be there sooner than I think, I am trying to soak up as much of her knowledge as I can!
• Have I mentioned I love Chuck, the TV show? Yeah, just a few million times. Well, it turns out that the actor who plays Chuck is a Christian. I love that.
• Matthew Paul Turner, an author, blogger and husband of a fellow (in)courage writer, spent the last week in Uganda with World Vision. Read about his journey in Uganda Week.
• Shaun Groves is amazing. The work he does – and the passion with which he does it – for Compassion blows me away. And he’s doing it again, bigger than ever. Stay tuned for more info about the benefit he’s planning for Haiti.
• What do you do when you see homeless people? I always feel weird and end up doing . . . nothing. Jenn has a great solution and detailed instructions: Keep care packages for homeless people in your car, including items like toothbrushes, hand warmers, water bottle and more.
• Did you read the Babysitters Club books back in the day? Apparently, they’ve been out of print for a while, but they’re coming back and there’s a prequel. I might have to read that!
• If you’re a blogger and you’re not reading Savvy Blogging, check it out now. These ladies are offering up honest, realistic and so very relevant advice, and everyone who wants to improve their blog should be reading every word. I know I am. 
• And I'm over at (in)courage today, talking about a time (not the only time, believe you me) I got in trouble for rolling my eyes. You don't want to miss this one.
  

That’s all folks. Have a good weekend!

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Saturday Review: The Familiar Stranger

When I got the Christian Fiction Blog Alliance’s monthly list of books available for review, I wasn’t sure any of them looked like something I’d pick up off the library shelf. But I went ahead and requested one.

Not because I need another book on my to-read list. But because I am trying to broaden my reading tastes. (Yes, Chelley, that means I will – someday soon, I promise – read Harry Potter.)

So when The Familiar Stranger by Christina Berry arrived in the mail, I wasn’t exactly jumping up and down. [Although, let’s be honest, it would take a whole lot of something special to get this girl off the ground.]

The main reason I hesitated to read this novel was my suspicion that it would be sad. Real sad. And I was right. Berry’s book certainly has its share of sad – and then some.

But that’s not the end of the story. Thankfully, the story is one of redemption and second chances and a whole host of other not-sad things.

The reason I picked up the book in the first place – aside from my nearing deadline for writing a review – was actually one of the endorsements on the back from another author whose blog about writing fiction I subscribe to.

Christina Berry is a woman who really understands how men think.
The Familiar Stranger had me from the very first sentence,
and it kept me flipping pages right through to the end.
It’s a terrific debut novel and I’ll be watching eagerly for her next one.
~ Randy Ingermanson, Christy award-winning author of Oxygen

I have to agree with Randy. The author did a great job (as far as I can tell) of getting inside not only the female protagonist’s mind, but also the man in the story, too. And she doesn’t pull any punches. Don’t expect to fall in love with the main character’s husband in those first few pages, but do expect to be hooked!

For a few days, I read this in every spare second. Even toward the end, when I was pretty sure I knew what would happen, I just kept reading. (And, for the record, I was mostly right, thanks to my vast consumption of stories in all mediums. Still, Grey’s Anatomy has nothing on this complicated story!)

Here’s the summary, and you can read more about the author on her website.

Craig Littleton's decision to end his marriage would shock his wife, Denise . . . if she knew what he was up to. When an accident lands Craig in the ICU, with fuzzy memories of his own life and plans, Denise rushes to his side, ready to care for him.

They embark on a quest to help Craig remember who he is and, in the process, they discover dark secrets. An affair? An emptied bank account? A hidden identity? An illegitimate child?

But what will she do when she realizes he's not the man she thought he was? Is this trauma a blessing in disguise, a chance for a fresh start? Or will his secrets destroy the life they built together?

Have you read any [unexpectedly] good books lately?

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Making a list and checking it twice.

It’s the end of a year and the end of a decade. You know what that means: best-of lists, and lots of them. Before we make it to New Year’s Eve, I’ll probably break down and share a few of my favorite lists with you. But for now, I’m just going to play along with Gwen Bell’s Best of 2009 Blog Challenge. (Hat tip: George from Crocs)

Gwen has a question for each day of the month, asking about one “best” from your year. I’m going to answer a few each week. If you want to play along, too – whether every day, once a week or one time only – check out the full list of questions.

#1 What was your best trip in 2009?
I took several trips this last year, more than normal. Two blogging conferences (Blissdom and SheSpeaks), two scrapbooking weekends with my cousins, a day trip to Columbia for my anniversary with Mark, a long weekend to Branson to visit college friends, and a weeklong Florida vacation.

How can I choose just one? I mean, I could go through a list of pros and cons for each, tally them up and then announce a winner. That might take a while, though.

I think I’ll do this instead. I’m going to call each of the trips a winner. A winner in my heart.

• Blogging conferences were amazing for meeting friends and learning about some amazing opportunities God has placed in my life.
• Scrapbooking weekends were great because I accomplished a lot and got to spend time with my cousins.
• Columbia was a nice break and gave Mark and me some much-needed time together.
• And it was so much fun to catch up with our friends from college over Labor Day weekend.

But, okay, you’re going to make me do it. Fine. I’ll pick a winner. The best trip I took in 2009 was our Florida vacation.

Mark and I got four long days alone, we swam with a dolphin, we stayed in a really nice hotel (that overlooked a really cheesy souvenir shop, but I’m not picky), and we drove through a torrential downpour to see the ocean. And then Annalyn flew down with my parents, brother and sister-in-law. We hung out with family, played in the pool and at the beach, and generally had a lot of fun.

#2 What was the best restaurant experience you had this year?
I’ve got three. First would be the first time we visited Five Guys. Those greasy delicious burgers are soooo good! And the fries? I don’t even care that you can see the grease spots on the brown bag they hand you at the counter. They. Are. Good.

Second restaurant experience I loved this last year was when our favorite waitress at our favorite restaurant actually recited Mark’s “usual” back to him. She even remembered, “Substitute CCQ for the red sauce.”

Last but best is eating at Shakespeare’s Pizza with Mark. During our anniversary road trip to Columbia, we ate dinner at our old fave. We discussed and debated, but we just couldn’t decide: Is the pizza really that good, or does novelty and nostalgia just convince us it’s good? It’s hard to tell, but either way, the pizza was great and we had so much fun.

#3 What article did you read this last year that blew you away?
Just one? Seriously? Okay, I cannot possibly list every article that taught me something, touched my heart, influenced my behavior or just plain cracked me up. But the most life-changing articles I read were, by far, the posts written by the Compassion bloggers who traveled to India.

#4 What book – fiction or non – touched you most in 2009?
I've read so many!! Here’s what I really need: a list of books I’ve read. I signed up for GoodReads, but darned if I remember to log back in and update my list! The library won’t tell me what books I’ve checked out. Something about privacy laws or something. Thankfully, I know what book rocked me this year. And that is Mark Batterson’s In a Pit with a Lion on a Snowy Day. If you missed my review, you can read about it here.

All right. Now it’s your turn. Tell me about your best trip, restaurant, article or book!

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“Leftovers are the enemy.”

Or so said Ree Drummond.

On Monday night, I went to a book signing for The Pioneer Woman’s cookbook. My friend Heather and I joined about 500 other people (okay, mostly women) to hear Ree talk about cooking, homeschooling, kids and, of course, Marlboro Man.

The Man himself – and two of their “punks” – were along for the ride. They seemed to be willing participants in the book tour, enjoying themselves by grabbing the microphone (punks) and posing for pictures (Marlboro Man).

Now, before I tell you all the wonderful things Ree said, I’ve got to tell you about the event itself. I’d seen pictures on The Pioneer Woman blog and a couple other sites, and they all showed huge crowds and long lines. But here in Kansas City (where, just for the record, Ree said everyone is “beautiful and kind”), we were remarkably organized.

Of course, by “we,” I mean Rainy Day Books, the local bookstore that hosted the event. And they don’t know who I am. There actually is no “we.”

But if there were a “we,” I’d be extremely proud of us! Because that book signing was one well-oiled machine. We had numbered tickets and could pick them – and our books – up in advance. The doors opened early, and the bookstore only sold as many tickets as the building had seats. (Apparently, they’re real particular about fire codes or some such business.) The president of the bookstore spent 45 minutes asking questions from the audience, and Ree graciously answered them all.

She then gave us a brief Ethel Merman impression, drew winners for a few door prizes and sat down at the signing table. Then we lined up in groups of 50 at a time, according to the number on our tickets, and we got us some signed books. They even had people going down the line with Post-its, writing down the name or personal note we wanted on our books.

Aside from Ree’s little boys grabbing the microphone a few times and driving the bookstore’s president cuh-razy and some women who were too anxious to wait in line for their t-shirts (did I mention we got t-shirts?), the book signing went off without a hitch.

And then there was Ree. The Pioneer Woman herself! In person! She was sweet and witty and charming and beautiful. And I met her and talked to her and didn’t cry one bit. I may have forgotten to tell her my name. But I did not cry. Even when I mentioned Compassion and my friend, Sara.


So there.

Here are a few gems from the question and answer part of the event:

Question: What would your life be like if you hadn’t met Marlboro Man?
Answer: “Oh, I have nightmares about it! I can’t imagine my life without him.”

Question: What was your worst cooking disaster?
Answer: “A vegetable lasagna I made in high school. Instead of ¼ cup of chopped parsley, I used 4 cups. It took me a long time before I could eat parsley!”

Question: What is the best fresh herb to cook with?
Answer: “Right now, rosemary. In the spring, dill. And when I’m hormonal, it’s basil.”

Question: How do you stay sane and maintain balance?
Answer: “That question implies that I am sane!”

Question: Do you ever just fix boxed macaroni and cheese or canned crescent rolls?
Answer: “Oh, sure. My kids have a craving for processed food!”

Ree said that while she can’t respond to comments on her blog, she does read them all. When she was asked if she has a housekeeper and nanny, she laughed. She said she does use a weekly cleaning service, but in her words, “It’s not that glamorous, people.”

Speaking of not-so-glamorous, the topic of rinsing chicken came up. Apparently, the FDA or someone says that rinsing chicken is bad. I don’t know. But what I do know is that The Pioneer Woman agrees with me and rinses her poultry. She said, “I’ve rinsed chicken for 20+ years, and I’m fine . . . relatively speaking.”

She also quoted Steel Magnolias and Napoleon Dynamite, and announced that she’ll be publishing Black Heels to Tractor Wheels, the story of her romance with Marlboro Man. Look for it around Valentine’s Day 2011.

I wish you could have gone to the signing with me. But since you couldn’t, I’m giving away a signed copy of The Pioneer Woman Cooks: Recipes from an Accidental Country Girl. Come back on Friday with your Thanksgiving stories, and join me in Giving Up on a Perfect Thanksgiving. One lucky reader will win the autographed cookbook, a Pioneer Woman t-shirt and matching adult and child aprons from Dayspring’s Life Collection.

See you on Friday! (But, wait, come back tomorrow for Thankful Thursday, too!)

What happens when a "what if" comes true?

A few years ago, before I had even the desire to have a child, my mom said to me, “I’m worried that you are afraid to have a baby, because you’ve known so many people who have had trouble.”

I was so annoyed. Just because I knew a couple people who’d had difficulty starting families didn’t mean anything.

I mean, sure, there was my cousin who spent weeks on bedrest and my other cousin who went through years of fertility treatments in order to have children. Then there were my friends who’d had miscarriages and the girl I knew who almost bled to death during delivery. And, of course, there was my mom herself who lost a baby before I was born.

Okay, so maybe I did know a lot of people who’d had traumatic pregnancies and deliveries. And to top it off with the years I spent working around children with leukemia? Having a child was sounding pretty scary!

And, yeah, it is.

Mark gets so annoyed with me when I tell him all the possible ways Annalyn can get hurt. Or sick. Or . . . you know . . . worse.

But then I remind him that he’s not the one bombarded with information. I am! From magazines to books to blogs to friends, I’m constantly hearing stories and warnings and nightmares.

And I can’t help but think . . . what if? What if the worst thing possible happened?

Mary DeMuth’s Defiance Texas Trilogy asks those same questions, and in A Slow Burn, the second book, Emory Chance’s “what if” nightmare has come true.

I read Daisy Chain, the first of the series, earlier this year. It was a hard book to read, an emotional punch in the gut more than once, but I’ve been looking forward to reading more of the story in the second book. Sometimes you just have to know what happens, even if you are covering your eyes the whole time you peer into the story.

A Slow Burn has finally been released, and you can read the first chapter online (and get hooked yourself).

Here’s a blurb about the book:

She touched Daisy’s shoulder. So cold. So hard. So unlike Daisy.

Yet so much like herself it made Emory shudder.

Burying her grief, Emory Chance is determined to find her daughter Daisy’s murderer—a man she saw in a flicker of a vision. But when the investigation hits every dead end, her despair escalates. As questions surrounding Daisy’s death continue to mount, Emory’s safety is shattered by the pursuit of a stranger, and she can’t shake the sickening fear that her own choices contributed to Daisy’s disappearance. Will she ever experience the peace her heart longs for?

The second book in the Defiance, Texas Trilogy, this suspenseful novel is about courageous love, the burden of regret, and bonds that never break. It is about the beauty and the pain of telling the truth. Most of all, it is about the power of forgiveness and what remains when shame no longer holds us captive.

“She can’t shake the sickening fear that her own choices contributed to Daisy’s disappearance.” I think this is the part that rocks me. Because I can only imagine – even though I don’t want to – how I’d feel if something happened to my own daughter. How I’d deal with that. How I’d face myself. How I’d live with myself – live with what happened, no matter what had happened – after that.

And the beauty of A Slow Burn is that it doesn’t just stop after answering the terrible question, “What if the worst thing possible happened?” It also answers the question of how you can go on living after it does.

How do you get over the “what ifs”?

Fall Reading List

Last week, I was inspired by Andrea’s fall reading list. Although, to be honest, I still can’t get over the fact that she organizes her reading lists.

Why don’t I do this??

Anyway, it seems that Katrina has a carnival for this sort of thing. I think it’s also supposed to keep us accountable for our reading goals. Does that make it an accountability carnival? Like there are clowns and ferris wheels along with the hard-hitting questions?

I don’t know what I’m saying. I really shouldn’t write my Monday posts on Sunday nights.

Anyway (again.), I’m going to share my fall reading list with you. But don’t judge me. It is quite possible – and probable, as you’ll see – that I read fluff, romance and keep-me-up-late mysteries. But hey, I’ve also got some uplifting fiction and potentially life-changing non-fiction. (A house that cleans itself? That would definitely be life-changing!)

I’m going to divide my list into categories. And I’m going to tell myself that it’s to share more information with you. But I know the truth. You may not be quite as intrigued by my reading choices as I am. It’s really just because I like complicated lists.

Books I’m reviewing (Yes, that means I got them for free.)

• The Hole in Our Gospel – Richard Stearns
• Find Your Strongest Life: What the Happiest and Most Successful Women Do Differently – Marcus Buckingham

Books I've already read (but it was in September, so it counts)

• Deadlock – Iris Johansen

Books I'm hoping will change my life

• Have a New Kid by Friday – Kevin Leman
• The House That Cleans Itself – Mindy Starns Clark
• Becoming a Couple of Promise – Kevin Leman (This is what our small group is studying.)

Books I have on reserve at the library

• True Detectives – Jonathan Kellerman (Actually, it's already on my nightstand!)
  
• Leaving Carolina – Tamara Leigh
• Mischief Becomes Her – Kasey Michaels
• Mischief 24/7 – Kasey Michaels
• Blood Game – Iris Johansen
• Bitter is the New Black – Jen Lancaster
• True Blue – David Baldacci
• Under the Cajun Moon – Mindy Starns Clark
• Lonestar Secrets – Colleen Coble
  

Books on reserve that I've already checked out once and didn't read in time

• The Help – Kathryn Stockett
• Take One – Karen Kingsbury
• Take Two – Karen Kingsbury
• Crazy Love – Francis Chan
  

Is it weird, wrong, bad that I have books called "Blood Game" or books with long legs on the cover on my list? And I can't wait to read them?

Maybe. But I have diverse tastes. Do you? What are you reading this fall?

Today’s the big day. I’m at (in)courage!

A few months ago, my friend Katie e-mailed me and said, “Mary, I just read this book and you’ve got to read it. It is changing my life.”

Now, Katie and I have been known to talk in the dramatic. Our lives are big and loud and messy, and we aren’t afraid to tell each other all about it. But there was something different in that short note. Something that made me stop, find the book online and buy it right then.

Even though the book didn’t sound interesting to me. Even though I was sure that I wouldn’t be changed by reading it. Even though I was a tad bit concerned that I’d just spent $15 for another book to collect dust on my nightstand.

And sure enough, that book came in the mail, and it sat on my table for weeks. Just staring at me. With irritating words like, “What if the life you really want, and the future God wants for you, is hiding right now in your biggest problem, your worst failure . . . your greatest fear?”

[Insert heavy sigh here.]

To read the rest of this post, please visit (in)courage.

Get your nose out of that book!

I heard those words more than once as a child. Actually, don’t tell my mom, but I could probably use someone saying that even now. I’d probably get to bed earlier and have a cleaner kitchen.

But the books – I’d miss the books!

Ah well, there are worse things, I suppose. Like boring you, my dear readers. And according to My Big Survey, you all are not big fans of my book reviews.

All right, all right. I can’t say I’m surprised. The teeny tiny number of comments was already a pretty good indication.

So I’ll lay off on the book reviews. I will probably still talk about books occasionally. And odds are good that I’ll still review some of the movies I see. As a matter of fact, stay tuned for a movie review this Saturday and my take on The Hole in our Gospel . . . just as soon as I manage to read it.

But I’ll try to come up with some more interesting posts for you. However, I will tell you about a couple book clubs. Just in case you want to talk books with someone else!

• She Reads – a new book club started by Proverbs 31 Ministries.
• Books, Blogs & Brownies – a virtual book club on Under Grace & Over Coffee

Now, one last note about My Big Survey: several of you said very sweet things. Unfortunately, in order to obtain objective data, the survey is anonymous. So I have no idea who said what. So, if you were trying to get on my good side, well, it didn’t quite work. But I’m honored that you took the time to answer my questions, and I’m touched that you enjoy reading Giving Up on Perfect. Thanks, everyone!

Because I really don't have enough things to read.

I haven't been to the library lately. I have two overdue books and one book on reserve, but I just can't make myself go there. Partly because it's a pain to go with Annalyn these days. Apparently, it's more fun to push buttons on the self-checkout machine than to sit still while Mommy checks out her books. But partly because I just can't handle picking up one more thing to read.

But that's crazy! I love to read! Reading is my favorite thing! How can I feel this way? Where are these feelings coming from? Why am I exclaiming so loudly on my blog?

Oh yeah. If it's not the 118 blogs I subscribe to, it might be the five (5) magazines I'm reading at one time.

And I wonder why my head hurts and my eyes are getting blurry . . .

What's your favorite thing to read? How many magazines do you get each month?