When blog friends become real friends

Last February, I almost got to meet one of my very first bloggy friends. We were both scheduled to be in Nashville – for two different conferences – the same weekend in February.

It didn’t work out.

Then, this February, the same thing happened. We were both in town (neither one of us lives in Nashville, by the way), but again, we weren’t able to connect.

And just last month, I visited Nashville with my parents. I e-mailed another blog friend who lives there as soon as I found out about the trip and asked if we could hang out while I was there. She said, “Sure!”

Can you guess what happened?

Or, more accurately, what didn’t happen?

[Seriously, what is up with Nashville and me?]

I was so disappointed each time I was unable to see my friends. That’s the thing about becoming friends with people you meet online: they probably don’t live in your town.

And while online friendships can be meaningful and genuine, there’s just something special about seeing someone in person and hugging her neck.

So last week, when I heard that my friend Alece – who normally lives in Africa – would be visiting my friend Sara – who can’t leave her house for health reasons – just five hours from my house, I didn’t hesitate.

I e-mailed them and invited myself up!

Read the rest of my post at (in)courage.

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(in)courage: Speedy Forgiveness

Image by Ramanathan.Kathiresan

This morning I got a speeding ticket on the way to work.

[Note: I wrote this a few weeks ago, so don't go thinking that I got ANOTHER ticket! :) ]

I was driving really fast. On a residential street. In the rain. In other words, I completely deserved that ticket. (The one that’s going to cost me all the money I’ve been saving for a blog redesign and then some. Sigh.)

You know what else I deserved? Getting in trouble with my husband.

But aside from noting that a ticket of my, AHEM, substantial size would get him fired (he drives for a living), he didn’t say anything other than, “It’s okay.”

To read the rest of my story, visit (in)courage.

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Are you building a cathedral?

Image by ~MVI~

Last month I attended a professional development and networking luncheon. It was more interesting than it sounds.

Something from that lunch has stuck with me – and I don’t mean the dozens of announcements or painfully basic tips on getting involved in social media.

To read the rest of this article, please visit (in)courage today!

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(in)courage: Can Your Shampoo Do This?

When I was 15, life was tough. The boy I liked didn’t like me. And the boy who liked me wouldn’t leave me alone. My basketball coach didn’t care if I had asthma (or short, chubby legs). My friends and I were accused of being a clique. And my mom was always on my case for something.

Life was tough, I’m telling you.

Looking back, of course, I can’t quite summon the angst and anxiety of that freshman girl. It’s not that what I worried about wasn’t important; it was. But those things carry a different importance this far down the road. For example, it’s hard to remember just how desperate young, unrequited love can feel after being married for 10 years.

What I can recall, however, is the rock bottom feeling of being completely overwhelmed with life. Partly because the feeling was so strong then that even 16 years isn’t enough time to completely dull its pain.

Partly because in the deepest, most insecure part of my heart, I’m still 15.

To read the rest of my article, please visit (in)courage.

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I'm only using tape and paper to wrap presents this year.

There are those who give with joy, and that joy is their reward. (Kahlil Gibran)

Last night we had friends over for dinner. After we put our daughter to bed and polished off a pan of chicken enchiladas, I cleaned off the table and opened up our game closet. (Also known as our coat closet, but “game closet” sounds oh-so fancy, doesn’t it?)

We briefly considered Boggle and I pulled for the old standard, Scattergories, but we eventually decided on 90s Trivial Pursuit. As we set it up and debated whether or not reading the rules was in order, I said, “Mark got this for me a few Christmases ago, and I was so excited.”

As a matter of fact, I could tell you everything my husband gave me for Christmas that year – four years ago. Because he actually got me things I wanted.

See, my love language is gift giving. And while you might think this would make Christmas an automatic WIN for me, it does not.

Because nobody ever lives up to my expectations.

To read the rest of this article, please visit (in)courage.

And don’t forget about our Giving Up on a Perfect Christmas carnival and giveaway this Friday.

Have you ever eaten broken all the Christmas cookies? Or broken the news to your nephew that Santa Claus might not be real? Get frostbite while Christmas caroling or perform an embarrassing solo at the office party? Or accidentally electrocute the cat with Christmas lights?

No matter what kind of story you have, write a post and link up! Then enter to win a Lisa Leonard necklace. I hope to see you there, and I hope you have a wonderful, merry Christmas!

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My questions . . . and His answers

Photo by eleaf

I have a list. (Surprising, no?) A list of questions that I plan to ask God as soon as I get to heaven. It’s not a real long list, but it has some of the most important questions in my heart:

* Why did my friend Carrie have to die in that car accident?
* Why did my mother-in-law have to die before she was even 50?
* Why did God send me to grad school? (Why didn’t I love grad school?)
* Why didn’t our church plant work?
* Why did I lose my job while I was pregnant?
* Why are Annalyn and I okay and healthy (despite a delivery at 33 weeks)?

These are the hard questions of life. Or at least of my life.

To read more, please visit me at (in)courage today.

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The Wow Factor

On an evening such as this, it's hard to tell if I exist.
If I pack the car and leave this town, who'll notice that I'm not around?
(Pinch Me, Barenaked Ladies)

One of my favorite songs has a vulnerable – and yet somehow catchy – line that seems to come out of nowhere, just moments after describing simple pleasures like running through the sprinkler and taking long naps.

But isn’t that how insecurity and fears are? Coming at us when we least expect it, slamming into our hearts and shadowing our minds before we even know what hit us?

Last week I auditioned for a solo at church. For nine months, I’ve known that I wanted to sing a certain song at the Christmas program, and Thursday was my day to make that happen.

Things did not go as planned.

To read the rest of this story, head over to (in)courage.

I love the smell of erasers in the fall.

Can you smell it? The erasers, the crayons, the multi-colored pack of Sharpies. Ahhh, breathe it in.

Well, maybe not the Sharpies. I don’t think that’s recommended by the surgeon general.

It’s that time of year again. The time when my teacher friends try – often unsuccessfully – to hold back their tears at the thought of their summer breaks ending. (This is also known as the time when I try to be supportive while silently regretting my decision not to become a teacher.)

It’s the time of year that many of my mom friends try – again, sometimes unsuccessfully – to hold back their tears as they send their children off to a new grade, a new adventure, a new life.

And it’s the time of year that finds me with an urge to head straight to Walmart, to not pass go and to buy myself a backpack, some Lisa Frank folders or, at the very least, a Big Chief tablet.

To read the rest of this post, head over to (in)courage. I’m there today.

Today’s the big day. I’m at (in)courage!

A few months ago, my friend Katie e-mailed me and said, “Mary, I just read this book and you’ve got to read it. It is changing my life.”

Now, Katie and I have been known to talk in the dramatic. Our lives are big and loud and messy, and we aren’t afraid to tell each other all about it. But there was something different in that short note. Something that made me stop, find the book online and buy it right then.

Even though the book didn’t sound interesting to me. Even though I was sure that I wouldn’t be changed by reading it. Even though I was a tad bit concerned that I’d just spent $15 for another book to collect dust on my nightstand.

And sure enough, that book came in the mail, and it sat on my table for weeks. Just staring at me. With irritating words like, “What if the life you really want, and the future God wants for you, is hiding right now in your biggest problem, your worst failure . . . your greatest fear?”

[Insert heavy sigh here.]

To read the rest of this post, please visit (in)courage.

Feels Like Coming Home

When I was a senior in high school, I took College English. One of our early assignments in the fall was to define a word. We each drew a slip of paper from a bowl, and the word we saw was our writing prompt.

The word I drew was “home.”

As I worked to define that word, put new feeling and meaning into those simple four letters, I realized that home is more than just a place to live, a building with walls and doors and windows.

I realized that more importantly than a physical space to sleep and eat and watch TV, “home” was better defined as the place my heart felt at peace, the place my soul felt accepted and loved.

And because I was a teenager in luuuuuv, that meant one of the ways I defined “home” was by describing my boyfriend and the things that made me think of him.

Since I actually married that guy, I’d say it was a pretty good description, even though he’s since given up winterfresh gum, his Dodge Daytona and the Notre Dame football team.

In the decade and a half since writing that short essay, I’ve realized and developed many other definitions of home. And today, one more "home" is coming to life.

The women who have created (in)courage describe their new site like this: “When we asked ourselves what kind of place we were building, we finally came to see it as a bit like a beach house. You can put your sandy, dirty feet on the coffee table, laugh late into the night with friends, and also hear God’s voice clearer than perhaps anywhere else. Life just feels more vibrant and real, as if you’ve stumbled upon a glimpse of heaven and it’s nothing like you ever imagined but everything you’d always hoped.”

The site is live today, and I hope you’ll go check it out. And instead of describing the site all over again, I’m going to tell you about the other women working on the project. Because, seriously, they have done a better job explaining (in)courage than I could do right now. Check them out. And check out (in)courage. Do it.

• Sara Mae at Like a Warm Cup of Coffee
• Nester at Nesting Place
• Lindsey at The Pleated Poppy
• Kristen at We Are That Family
• Jennifer at Balancing Beauty and Bedlam
• Jessica at The Mom Creative
• Angela at Becoming Me
• Melissa at The Inspired Room
• Jennifer at Studio JRU
• Andrea at Under Grace & Over Coffee
• Angie at Bring the Rain
• Anne at Flowerdust
• Ann at A Holy Experience
• Amber at The Run-a-Muck
• Emily at Chatting at the Sky
• Ginny at The Thoughts I Think
• Heather at Heather Gemmen Wilson
• Robin at Pensieve
• Sarah at The Best Days of My Life
• Lisa at It’s the Little Things
• Tsh at Simple Mom
• Annie at Annie Blogs

But wait! Before you start clicking around, tell us: How do you define home?

She (in)courages

Thank you so much to everyone who’s taken my blog survey. I’m noticing some interesting patterns, and I’ll share them in a few days. But since I’m sure you’re just dying to know the results, I’ll tell you one thing.

You all are big fans of honesty.

And that is a darned good thing, considering my creative juice is pretty much tapped by the time I get to share my thoughts, my heart and my life with you. I’d be real bummed out if I had to start making stuff up around here.

Honesty, authenticity, transparency – they’re all big buzzwords these days, but still seem to be characteristics sorely lacking in many environments. Including those specifically made for Christian women.

Let’s be honest about honesty – it’s not always easy. But I’m pretty sure – based on my oh-so-scientific survey – that we’d all agree it’s worth it.

And that’s why I’m excited to tell you about my newest project: (in)courage. Part of Dayspring, it’s a website, it’s a blog, it’s a product line. But more than that, it aspires to be a home for the hearts of women. A place where we can put our dusty feet up on the coffee table and just be. Be ourselves. Be real. Be honest.

Some of you may have landed here from a link at The Mom Creative. Jessica and I are just two of more than 20 women working on this project, and I can’t wait for you to meet them all.

Angela at Becoming Me is another woman taking part in (in)courage, and she'll be writing about (in)courage tomorrow. Believe me when I say that you need to meet her. From her (admitted) struggles with perfectionism to her (former) career in public relations, we seem to have a little bit in common. I’m looking forward to getting to know her – and all the ladies of (in)courage – better!

You'll be hearing more about this whole project soon, and it officially launches August 10th (that’s next Monday!). But check out Angela tomorrow, follow the trail of the other awesome ladies involved all week, and sneak over to http://www.incourage.me/ for a preview today.

Remember – (in)courage on August 10. This is gonna be fun. This is gonna be real. Oh yeah, this is gonna be real fun.