Today’s the big day. I’m at (in)courage!

A few months ago, my friend Katie e-mailed me and said, “Mary, I just read this book and you’ve got to read it. It is changing my life.”

Now, Katie and I have been known to talk in the dramatic. Our lives are big and loud and messy, and we aren’t afraid to tell each other all about it. But there was something different in that short note. Something that made me stop, find the book online and buy it right then.

Even though the book didn’t sound interesting to me. Even though I was sure that I wouldn’t be changed by reading it. Even though I was a tad bit concerned that I’d just spent $15 for another book to collect dust on my nightstand.

And sure enough, that book came in the mail, and it sat on my table for weeks. Just staring at me. With irritating words like, “What if the life you really want, and the future God wants for you, is hiding right now in your biggest problem, your worst failure . . . your greatest fear?”

[Insert heavy sigh here.]

To read the rest of this post, please visit (in)courage.

Or . . . “I Feel Pretty” . . . What do you think, Daddy?

Last night, Annalyn told me my sock was pretty. More specifically, she said, “Sock,” petted my brown nylon covered foot, and said, “Pretty.”

She also says “pretty” when I wear my blue t-shirt, when I brush her hair and when we put a bow in her hair.

And when her daddy tells her that she looks pretty? Well, that’s enough to make a girl giggle and squeal!

So when I heard about Miley Cyrus’s performance on the Teen Choice Awards, I couldn’t help but wonder if she actually believes pole dancing and hot pants are pretty.

Because not so long ago, shiny purple and fluffy pink and glittery silver were undoubtedly more her taste than black leather. And based on my vast personal knowledge of her as a person (please, please hear my self-inflicted sarcasm here), I feel confident that not so long ago, she only wanted to hear her daddy call her pretty.

I’m not writing about this to judge Miley Cyrus or any other celebrity for clothing choices and public behaviors. Because, honestly, I can’t possibly imagine what their lives are truly like or why they make the decisions they do.

But it’s not like I have to turn on the television to see girls working hard to feel pretty – and missing the mark by a mile.

I only have to look as far as my bathroom mirror – at the girl who gets up early enough to put on mascara, but not early enough to spend time in prayer; the girl who picks out the baggiest pants in her closet instead of going for a walk; the girl who cracks jokes and puts on a smart face instead of daring to admit she’s hurt or confused or (gasp!) human.

And when I think about all this – my pretty sock and my sweet daughter and young celebrities and my bathroom mirror – I wonder if it’s inevitable, the tendency to act ugly in our pursuit of beauty. Or maybe, just maybe, there’s a way to stop myself – or, not too far from now, Annalyn – from acting ugly to feel pretty.

My friend, Becky Jo, said something awesome about this issue during our Bible study. I wish I could remember exactly how she put it. What I do remember (because I took notes!) is that she referenced Psalm 45:11, which says, “The King is enthralled by your beauty.”

What do you think? Are there times when you act ugly and think it will make you feel pretty? Or, looking at the lighter side of this topic, is there anything ugly you do that really does make you feel pretty (see facial mask above as Example A)?

And Becky Jo, are you there? Can you remind me what you said about how our beauty comes from God . . . ??

* And for you movie buffs, yes, today’s title is from Dirty Dancing.

A case of the Mondays.

Most days when I leave for work, Annalyn waves her little hand and says in her sweet little voice, “Bye-bye!” Sometimes, if I’m lucky, I even get, “Bye-bye, Mommy!”

Yesterday was not so smooth. As I got ready, proud that for once, I wasn’t running several minutes late and my hair was perfectly styled slightly dry, my little girl was sitting on the couch by her daddy. She had a waffle in one hand and a sippy cup of milk in the other. I could see an empty bowl; she’d already inhaled her uh-nana.

I walked up the hallway toward the living room and garage, and Annalyn heard my footsteps on the hardwood floor. And apparently that was all it took.

“Bup? Bup? Mommy? Bup!”

In other words, she wanted me to pick her up and hug her. So, I walked over to the couch, kissed her head and told her I’d see her at lunchtime.

Well, you’d have thought I told her I’d never see her again. The waterworks, they started. No, not mine, although it was close.

It is so hard to leave the house when my baby is crying and wants me to stay. Not loving my job makes it even harder. Monday morning after staying up late to watch a movie with Mark makes it darned near impossible.

But I did it.

Over the weekend, I read a story in Parents magazine about helping your kids understand and accept why Mommy and Daddy have to work. So I followed the advice I’d shared with Mark a few hours before: I used my firm yet positive voice to say, “Mommy’s going to work now, Annalyn. I’ll see you after playtime, for lunch. I love you!”

And I left.

But I didn’t like it.

You know what else I didn’t like? When I came home for lunch a short time later, walked in to see my baby, and was greeted by a big grin and, “Mommy!”

Oh wait, that doesn’t sound so bad, does it? How about if that sweet greeting was quickly followed up with her crawling away from me, refusing to let me hold her and responding with repeated cries of “No!” when I offered to help her walk over to Daddy? Not so sweet then, is it?

Thankfully, the tears didn’t last long, and she was happy to eat lunch with Mommy. After all, I am the one who will give her ketchup (or “dot dot” as it’s mysteriously called at our house) for any food, including green beans, grapes and my mother’s homemade banana bread.

So today was a little rough for us. But I forgot about all of that when, for the second day in a row, Mark and I got to watch our not-so-little-anymore baby girl finally take several steps on her own.

That’s right, folks! Real-live walking going on here!

Wouldn’t this be a great time to introduce video to my blog? You’d like that, right? If I embedded a little home video of Annalyn taking her first steps – right here, for you to see?

Well, I’ve got some bad news. The battery on our video camera is dead. As a doornail. Or a dead camera battery.

Either way, I have nothing to offer you. I can give you this:

But, much to my and my mother’s chagrin, I have no video of this last weekend’s miracle milestone. Maybe tomorrow . . .

How was your Monday? Do you find it hard to start the week, or are Mondays no different than the other days of the week for you?

Feels Like Coming Home

When I was a senior in high school, I took College English. One of our early assignments in the fall was to define a word. We each drew a slip of paper from a bowl, and the word we saw was our writing prompt.

The word I drew was “home.”

As I worked to define that word, put new feeling and meaning into those simple four letters, I realized that home is more than just a place to live, a building with walls and doors and windows.

I realized that more importantly than a physical space to sleep and eat and watch TV, “home” was better defined as the place my heart felt at peace, the place my soul felt accepted and loved.

And because I was a teenager in luuuuuv, that meant one of the ways I defined “home” was by describing my boyfriend and the things that made me think of him.

Since I actually married that guy, I’d say it was a pretty good description, even though he’s since given up winterfresh gum, his Dodge Daytona and the Notre Dame football team.

In the decade and a half since writing that short essay, I’ve realized and developed many other definitions of home. And today, one more "home" is coming to life.

The women who have created (in)courage describe their new site like this: “When we asked ourselves what kind of place we were building, we finally came to see it as a bit like a beach house. You can put your sandy, dirty feet on the coffee table, laugh late into the night with friends, and also hear God’s voice clearer than perhaps anywhere else. Life just feels more vibrant and real, as if you’ve stumbled upon a glimpse of heaven and it’s nothing like you ever imagined but everything you’d always hoped.”

The site is live today, and I hope you’ll go check it out. And instead of describing the site all over again, I’m going to tell you about the other women working on the project. Because, seriously, they have done a better job explaining (in)courage than I could do right now. Check them out. And check out (in)courage. Do it.

• Sara Mae at Like a Warm Cup of Coffee
• Nester at Nesting Place
• Lindsey at The Pleated Poppy
• Kristen at We Are That Family
• Jennifer at Balancing Beauty and Bedlam
• Jessica at The Mom Creative
• Angela at Becoming Me
• Melissa at The Inspired Room
• Jennifer at Studio JRU
• Andrea at Under Grace & Over Coffee
• Angie at Bring the Rain
• Anne at Flowerdust
• Ann at A Holy Experience
• Amber at The Run-a-Muck
• Emily at Chatting at the Sky
• Ginny at The Thoughts I Think
• Heather at Heather Gemmen Wilson
• Robin at Pensieve
• Sarah at The Best Days of My Life
• Lisa at It’s the Little Things
• Tsh at Simple Mom
• Annie at Annie Blogs

But wait! Before you start clicking around, tell us: How do you define home?

Danke schoen, Mr. Hughes.

Last night, Mark and I took a cranky-pants toddler who is obsessed with “walk!” and “steps!” to a little birthday dinner. After watching several games of Pac-Man, cruising up and down the table, chewing on some cheese bread and spitting it out, and generally causing chaos, Mark decided to take her home.

For about 3.2 minutes, Annalyn was happy. She walked around and around the Pac-Man game, saying, "Wheeee!" It's the little things in life, you know.

My job was to get a box for our pizza, pay our bill and say “happy birthday, good to see you and goodbye.”

That was totally my intention, and I probably would have made good on those goals if my cousin Craig hadn’t started talking politics.

Normally I avoid those conversations – nay, debates – like the proverbial plague. Honestly, I don’t enjoy talking politics with most people, and you know combining family and politics is a dangerous cocktail.

Regardless, I stayed last night and debated chatted. And . . . left with a headache. And cold pizza.

What can I say? Politics frustrate the . . . pepperoni . . . out of me.

How good does this chicken pizza look? I was real jealous of this pie.

You know what doesn’t frustrate me? Teen movies. Or, as I fondly call them, teeny bopper movies. And we wouldn’t have the pleasure of gems such as Clueless, Can’t Hardly Wait or 10 Things I Hate About You (or Napoleon Dynamite, Juno or Nick & Norah’s Infinite Playlist) without the canon of one Mr. John Hughes.

Hughes died on Thursday, and yesterday our local radio station played a collection of songs from his movies. I only heard a few while I was on the way home from the pizza party that wasn’t, but it was fun to remember songs like “Don’t You Forget About Me” and the song I refer to as, “Bom, Bom, Chick, Chicka Chick Pow.”

Out of all Hughes’ movies, Ferris Bueller’s Day Off is my favorite, with Breakfast Club coming in a close second. The Brat Pack gave us the spontaneous and yet cleverly choreographed group dance. And Ferris gave us so many quotable quotes:

• Anyone? Anyone? Bueller?. . . Bueller?. . . Bueller?
• Oh, he's very popular Ed . . . They think he's a righteous dude.
• The key to faking out the parents is the clammy hands.
• He'll keep calling me. He'll keep calling me until I come over. He'll make me feel guilty. This is uh... This is ridiculous, ok I'll go, I'll go, I'll go, I'll go, I'll go. What - I'LL GO.
• Life moves pretty fast. You don't stop and look around once in a while, you could miss it.

What are your favorite John Hughes movies?

Recipe Friday: Crispy S'mores Bars

Lately, Annalyn’s response to the question, “How does it taste?” is, "Nummy!"

And that is exactly how this new treat should be described: “Nummy!” Maybe even, “Nummy in my tummy.”

Then again, that might be silly.

Several weeks ago, I signed up for Kraft First Taste. It’s not exclusive; you just have to sign up. But according to Kraft, it’s “the best place to get the inside scoop on the latest Kraft products, be one of the first to try them, and tell us what you think.”

I don’t know about all that yet. But I do know that after I signed up, I started getting a monthly newsletter with “sneak peak” recipes. Including one for Crispy S’mores Bars.

When I mentioned last night on Facebook that I was going to make “s’mores rice krispy treats,” I immediately had people signing up to do a taste test.

Sorry, guys. But even though I can’t actually send a pan of these bars to each one of you, I can give you the recipe.

Crispy S’mores Bars

2 tbsp. butter
4 cups miniature marshmallows, divided
3 cups rice krispies (a.k.a. puffed rice cereal)
2 cups Teddy Grahams
2 squares semi-sweet chocolate, melted

Spray 9x13 pan with cooking spray. Melt butter and add 2 cups marshmallows. Stir constantly until completely melted. Remove from heat and mix in remaining marshmallows, cereal and Teddy Grahams. Press into pan. Drizzle with melted chocolate. Let stand one hour before serving – if you can!

Instead of the melted chocolate, I sprinkled milk chocolate chips on top. And . . . mmmm!

This post is linked to Vanderbilt Wife's Family Recipe Friday, as well as A Southern Fairytale and Balancing Beauty & Bedlam.

Have you tried any new recipes lately? Or a new type of food? Tell us about it!

Get your nose out of that book!

I heard those words more than once as a child. Actually, don’t tell my mom, but I could probably use someone saying that even now. I’d probably get to bed earlier and have a cleaner kitchen.

But the books – I’d miss the books!

Ah well, there are worse things, I suppose. Like boring you, my dear readers. And according to My Big Survey, you all are not big fans of my book reviews.

All right, all right. I can’t say I’m surprised. The teeny tiny number of comments was already a pretty good indication.

So I’ll lay off on the book reviews. I will probably still talk about books occasionally. And odds are good that I’ll still review some of the movies I see. As a matter of fact, stay tuned for a movie review this Saturday and my take on The Hole in our Gospel . . . just as soon as I manage to read it.

But I’ll try to come up with some more interesting posts for you. However, I will tell you about a couple book clubs. Just in case you want to talk books with someone else!

• She Reads – a new book club started by Proverbs 31 Ministries.
• Books, Blogs & Brownies – a virtual book club on Under Grace & Over Coffee

Now, one last note about My Big Survey: several of you said very sweet things. Unfortunately, in order to obtain objective data, the survey is anonymous. So I have no idea who said what. So, if you were trying to get on my good side, well, it didn’t quite work. But I’m honored that you took the time to answer my questions, and I’m touched that you enjoy reading Giving Up on Perfect. Thanks, everyone!

She (in)courages

Thank you so much to everyone who’s taken my blog survey. I’m noticing some interesting patterns, and I’ll share them in a few days. But since I’m sure you’re just dying to know the results, I’ll tell you one thing.

You all are big fans of honesty.

And that is a darned good thing, considering my creative juice is pretty much tapped by the time I get to share my thoughts, my heart and my life with you. I’d be real bummed out if I had to start making stuff up around here.

Honesty, authenticity, transparency – they’re all big buzzwords these days, but still seem to be characteristics sorely lacking in many environments. Including those specifically made for Christian women.

Let’s be honest about honesty – it’s not always easy. But I’m pretty sure – based on my oh-so-scientific survey – that we’d all agree it’s worth it.

And that’s why I’m excited to tell you about my newest project: (in)courage. Part of Dayspring, it’s a website, it’s a blog, it’s a product line. But more than that, it aspires to be a home for the hearts of women. A place where we can put our dusty feet up on the coffee table and just be. Be ourselves. Be real. Be honest.

Some of you may have landed here from a link at The Mom Creative. Jessica and I are just two of more than 20 women working on this project, and I can’t wait for you to meet them all.

Angela at Becoming Me is another woman taking part in (in)courage, and she'll be writing about (in)courage tomorrow. Believe me when I say that you need to meet her. From her (admitted) struggles with perfectionism to her (former) career in public relations, we seem to have a little bit in common. I’m looking forward to getting to know her – and all the ladies of (in)courage – better!

You'll be hearing more about this whole project soon, and it officially launches August 10th (that’s next Monday!). But check out Angela tomorrow, follow the trail of the other awesome ladies involved all week, and sneak over to http://www.incourage.me/ for a preview today.

Remember – (in)courage on August 10. This is gonna be fun. This is gonna be real. Oh yeah, this is gonna be real fun.

She Learns

After getting a little bit of sleep and reading a few recap posts and uploading my photos, I’m still not sure how best to tell you about my weekend (at SheSpeaks in Charlotte, N.C.).

I guess I’m just going to have to resort to that old standby: the list.

First, the real fun part – a list of the awesome ladies I got to meet and hang out with!

Stephanie Bryant and Holley Gerth from Dayspring

Sisters Emily from Chatting at the Sky and The Nester
(I love these girls and wanted to bring them home. They declined. But they did give a great presentation about the purpose of your blog. Love them!)

Jen from Balancing Beauty & Bedlam, Dawn from My Home Sweet Home and Jo-Lynne from Musings of a Housewife

Annie Downs from Annie Blogs

Hillary from The Other Mama, also known as my bloggy soul mate. Or, at least the most sarcastic and hilarious person I met all weekend. In sum, she's just precious.

Melanie from Big Mama and Sophie from Boo Mama (No, we’re still not BFFs. And yes, I acted like a complete fangirl. At least I can report that I didn't cry this time.)

I also got to meet and/or spend some time with the very sweet Especially Heather, the technical guru Lisa Boyd from Simply His, my new friend Shelly from My Life on the Wild Side and the amazing Lysa Terkeurst. (I didn’t so much spend time with Lysa, of course, as introduce myself and eavesdrop as she talked with some of the other girls.)

I hope I’m not forgetting anyone. If I got to meet you and didn’t link to you, please yell at me! (But you know, nicely. I don’t like mean yelling.)

Now, for the tougher part: what I learned at She Speaks.

1. I am not a beginner blogger. I loved hearing my online friends present information and I certainly walked away with a few new tips, but I wish I could have learned more about blogging. I think I might have actually been better off taking the writing classes instead. Maybe next year!
2. When it comes to blogging and ministry, it’s not about me. It’s not about the numbers. And it’s not a competition. (Rinse and repeat.)
3. Crying just may be my love language. Or I get weepy when I’m overly tired. Possibly a combination of both.
4. I am not a good traveler. I won’t bore you with the details, but it started with getting up before the sun; continued with a missed flight, missed shuttle and traffic jam; and ended with a three-hour layover in Detroit, a head-poundingly loud late-night flight and news of a bomb scare. Does it count as a red-eye flight if my eyes are red?
5. Proverbs 31 is an amazing group of Christ-centered, smart, talented women who are organized, compassionate and just all-around awesome. Exhibit A: The organization’s executive director and her assistant let me join them for dinner when I (finally) got to the hotel on Friday night, welcoming me into their small group and immediately making the weariness of my day begin to fade.
6. God will not place a dream in your heart with no plan to make it come true, no matter how improbable or complicated or even insane that dream may be.
7. And lastly, four days is way, way too long to go without seeing this sweet face and giving it a kiss.

Two more things that didn’t fit in the list, and then I promise to let you move on. To my next post. (Right?)

First – Lysa Terkeurst said that I should write a book. Well, more accurately, she said that my blog title would make a great book title. But I’m pretty sure that means she can’t wait to read my life story.

Second – No, I’m not finished with the cutesy “she” titles yet. And yes, I will try to contain them to this week. But no, I cannot make any promises.

The end. (Except . . . have you taken my survey yet?)

She Surveys

Whew. What a weekend! And it's not really even over, although it will be by the time you read this.

As I'm typing, I'm sitting on the floor in the Detroit airport, plugged into the wall, full from my sandwich and Mrs. Field's cookie, and wearing my shades to cut down on the glare from the big airport windows.

I might look a little strange. I feel a little strange - tired, missing my family, wishing I'd had more time with my new and not-as-new friends, and still trying to process everything I heard and learned this weekend at SheSpeaks.

Later this week, maybe even by tomorrow, I'll have some fun pics to share with you and a recap of the whole shebang.

But until then, will you do me a favor and take this survey about my blog? Thanks. You're awesome.