Wordless Wednesday: My Ladybug

We didn't get a lot of great Halloween pictures this year, but here's what I have! Head over to The Mom Creative for more super cute Halloween photos!

What happens when a "what if" comes true?

A few years ago, before I had even the desire to have a child, my mom said to me, “I’m worried that you are afraid to have a baby, because you’ve known so many people who have had trouble.”

I was so annoyed. Just because I knew a couple people who’d had difficulty starting families didn’t mean anything.

I mean, sure, there was my cousin who spent weeks on bedrest and my other cousin who went through years of fertility treatments in order to have children. Then there were my friends who’d had miscarriages and the girl I knew who almost bled to death during delivery. And, of course, there was my mom herself who lost a baby before I was born.

Okay, so maybe I did know a lot of people who’d had traumatic pregnancies and deliveries. And to top it off with the years I spent working around children with leukemia? Having a child was sounding pretty scary!

And, yeah, it is.

Mark gets so annoyed with me when I tell him all the possible ways Annalyn can get hurt. Or sick. Or . . . you know . . . worse.

But then I remind him that he’s not the one bombarded with information. I am! From magazines to books to blogs to friends, I’m constantly hearing stories and warnings and nightmares.

And I can’t help but think . . . what if? What if the worst thing possible happened?

Mary DeMuth’s Defiance Texas Trilogy asks those same questions, and in A Slow Burn, the second book, Emory Chance’s “what if” nightmare has come true.

I read Daisy Chain, the first of the series, earlier this year. It was a hard book to read, an emotional punch in the gut more than once, but I’ve been looking forward to reading more of the story in the second book. Sometimes you just have to know what happens, even if you are covering your eyes the whole time you peer into the story.

A Slow Burn has finally been released, and you can read the first chapter online (and get hooked yourself).

Here’s a blurb about the book:

She touched Daisy’s shoulder. So cold. So hard. So unlike Daisy.

Yet so much like herself it made Emory shudder.

Burying her grief, Emory Chance is determined to find her daughter Daisy’s murderer—a man she saw in a flicker of a vision. But when the investigation hits every dead end, her despair escalates. As questions surrounding Daisy’s death continue to mount, Emory’s safety is shattered by the pursuit of a stranger, and she can’t shake the sickening fear that her own choices contributed to Daisy’s disappearance. Will she ever experience the peace her heart longs for?

The second book in the Defiance, Texas Trilogy, this suspenseful novel is about courageous love, the burden of regret, and bonds that never break. It is about the beauty and the pain of telling the truth. Most of all, it is about the power of forgiveness and what remains when shame no longer holds us captive.

“She can’t shake the sickening fear that her own choices contributed to Daisy’s disappearance.” I think this is the part that rocks me. Because I can only imagine – even though I don’t want to – how I’d feel if something happened to my own daughter. How I’d deal with that. How I’d face myself. How I’d live with myself – live with what happened, no matter what had happened – after that.

And the beauty of A Slow Burn is that it doesn’t just stop after answering the terrible question, “What if the worst thing possible happened?” It also answers the question of how you can go on living after it does.

How do you get over the “what ifs”?

Monday Music: It Is Well by Kutless

The first Monday of November, and what are two of our local radio stations playing? You guessed it: Christmas music.

Unbelievable.

I love the holidays. And I love festive music. But this starting earlier and earlier every year thing? Drives me up the wall.

Because now, even though I’ve finally gotten the presets figured out in my new car, I have even fewer stations to choose from. (My personal policy is to start listening to Christmas music not a day earlier than Thanksgiving. Because, really.)

Although, I’m not sure why I’m worried about it at all, considering the only way to keep Miss Annalyn from getting fussy in the car is by playing kids’ CDs. Constantly. Stopping to repeat on her favorite songs. Who needs a dozen local stations, when you’re just going to be playing “MY MOOZICK!” every afternoon anyway?

The mornings are mine, though. Mine to play whatever I want. And while sometimes that means silly chatter from the morning shows or peppy pop music to wake up my sleepy brain, more often than not it means one of the two contemporary Christian stations we have. For me, listening to uplifting – or, as they say, positive and encouraging – music gets me in a better mindset for heading into the office and facing my day.

I’ve tried to tell Mark he should do the same. Especially when he’s grumpy about this policy or that at work. Yes, he appreciates my helpful suggestions very much, thank you for asking.

Actually, he doesn’t. Because he doesn’t like a lot of contemporary Christian music. (Gasp!) He doesn’t have quite the same appreciation of overplayed, fluffy pop music that I do, though.

And that’s why – here’s the point, if you were looking for it – I’m excited about the latest CD from Kutless, It Is Well.

This CD came in the mail a couple weeks ago, and I have to admit: I was nervous to listen to it. See, I don’t own a lot of Christian CDs. Honestly, I am usually content to listen to whatever is playing on the radio – overplayed or over-poppy as it may be. And while I’d heard of Kutless, I wasn’t sure I knew specifically which songs are theirs.

I’m happy to tell you: This CD is great! And as soon as Mark gets home tonight, I’m putting it in his truck. Because it’s exactly the sound he likes – think Creed or Three Doors Down, maybe – but with better lyrics. (I wanted to say “a positive message,” but that sounds a little too afterschool special, I think.)

The band has taken several different types of worship songs – some old, some recent – and given each of them a Kutless spin. I love the way the CD starts off, with a high church choir singing, “It Is Well” and then the sound merging into the Kutless version. It’s hard to describe, but to me, it was a great way to introduce the album and announce, “Hey, we’re taking our favorite worship songs and making them ours.”

I’ve already put this CD into my iTunes, and I can tell you it’s going to be played heavily in our house (truck, office, etc.). If you like your rock to be encouraging – or if you like your Christian music to have some edge – check out It Is Well by Kutless.

And here’s a little bit about the album, from the band itself:

We began this worship project, It Is Well, by asking one question, “Can we do something unique?” There are many worship records; however, we were driven by the challenge to do something different, something Kutless. Although we’ve done a worship-oriented album (“Strong Tower”), we are in a different place right now and wanted this project to reflect our hearts.

From February through May 2009 we poured over hundreds of songs. We looked for songs that had a special meaning to us, songs that were traditional, songs that were modern, and songs we could make our own. As the list of songs started to form, we began arranging the songs to fit our style, after all, we are a rock band. This was a challenge in terms of how to take a hymn written in the late 1800s and make it sound like a Kutless song.

The recording process was unique for us for many reasons . . . We had one of those incredible experiences that happen to Christ-followers. We started with a goal, but, through the process, God took that goal and turned it back around to Himself. The quest for a special album became a unique time for us to go deeper in worship. The goal of composing original songs became a time for us to grow in our love and appreciation of each other. The epiphany for us was that the purpose of a worship record was to reflect who God is – His peace, freedom, power and ability to help us grow in relationship with Him and others. In the end, this “unique” experience happened to us in the making of It Is Well.

So, tell me: how do you like your Christian music? Or do you like it at all? I want to hear all your opinions. (Even if you happen to be my brother and want to tell us how choir music rocks.)

I received this CD from Overture Media but was given no other compensation for this review. And as always, this is my honest opinion. The Amazon links are affiliate links.

Breakfast, snack or both?

I mentioned this on Facebook last week, but I bought a box of Golden Grahams for a late-night snack. This would be a fine idea, except . . . I've eaten them for a snack and breakfast and, well, I've eaten the whole box!

Do you like to eat cereal for a snack? For breakfast? For both?

Image by x99elledge.

Halloween Giveaway Winners

Thank you to everyone who participated in Giving Up on a Perfect Halloween! Random.org has spoken, and the winners are:

• Giveaway #1 (the books): Comment #12 (Beth @ Not a Bow in Sight)
• Giveaway #2 (the bundt pan & magazine): Comment #37 (melilotnfosco)
• Giveaway #3 (Red Letter Words): Comment #27 (Lisa @ Simplified Savings)

Congratulations! E-mail me with your mailing address, so you can get your goodies! And everyone else, stay tuned for Giving Up on a Perfect Thanksgiving (November 20) and Giving Up on a Perfect Christmas (December 18).

Giving Up on a Perfect Halloween - GIVEAWAY

It's time to give up on a perfect Halloween. Come on . . . I'll even give you prizes!

I’ll randomly select winners from the comments. Don’t forget to include your e-mail address if you don't have a Blogger account. Comments will be closed at midnight on Halloween (insert scary music here).

One entry per person, but for additional entries, become a Facebook fan of Giving Up on Perfect (or tell me if you already are) or Tweet about this carnival and giveaway on Twitter. And then tell me about it in a separate comment!

Giveaway #1

This is your chance for a sneak peek at three books I'll be reviewing this fall!

• It’s a Wonderful (Imperfect) Life: Daily Encouragement for Women Who Strive Too Hard to Make It Just Right by Joan C. Webb
• Have a New Kid by Friday: How to Change Your Child's Attitude, Behavior & Character in 5 Days by Kevin Leman
• Slow Burn (Defiance Texas Trilogy, Book 2) by Mary E. DeMuth
• Yes, these are affiliate links.

Giveaway #2

This is the bundt pan. I'm going to assume you know what magazines look like.

• Longaberger Woven Traditions fluted bundt cake pan. Ivory pottery, safe for oven, freezer, microwave and dishwasher.
• Two-year subscription to Southern Living. (I’m pretty sure they’ve got a recipe or two for bundt cake!)
• Donated by my friends Angela and Kyla

Giveaway #3

These are just two examples. Check out the gallery for all your options!

• A 12x12 cafe art mount print by Red Letter Words
• You may have recently seen these great prints on Nesting Place. The Nester loves them, and so do I!

So what are you waiting for? Link up, enter and enjoy! And remember – give up on a perfect Halloween. The results might just be spooktacular. Or, ah, bootiful?

Darn it. I went nearly 800 words without a cheesy Halloween pun. Sorry, friends. I just couldn’t help it. Happy Halloween!

Embarrassing Stories, Funny Photos, a Carnival and Giveaways – now that’s a perfect Halloween!

Halloween 2007 came less than two weeks after we brought Annalyn home from the hospital. Those days are pretty blurry, but I’m pretty sure I spent that evening ignoring the knocks on the door (Hello, neighborhood kids. If the light’s off, keep on moving.) and checking on the teeny tiny baby sleeping in her crib.

Last year was much more exciting. My mom and I took Annalyn – in her ghetto kitty costume – to visit a couple people and then headed to their house for dinner and a movie (“It’s a Great Pumpkin, Charlie Brown”).

This year, I’ve been so excited that Halloween falls on a Saturday. That means we can take Annalyn to more than two houses for trick or treating and, more importantly, Mark can come with us.

I’ve bought a ladybug costume, borrowed an antenna headband, found some black tights and mapped out all the stops we want to make before going to my parents’ house for chili and the annual Charlie Brown movie. It’s going to be great.

At least . . . it’s supposed to be great. Mark told me yesterday that he might have to work on Saturday. And so I got a lesson in my own philosophy – give up on a perfect Halloween, Mary!

Seriously, do the holidays ever turn out like we hope? Like we plan? Like we expect?

Not in my world.

Back in the day when I could show a little leg. (Also known as college.)

Ah, the memories of hand-me-down clown costumes and face paint made of Mom's makeup.

Carving a pumpkin with my dad. I think something went awry between picture #1 and picture #2!

Take the Halloween Slumber Party of 1990. From the black hair dye that started on my friend Elizabeth’s hair and ended up staining my mother’s sparkling clean bathtub to my insensitive friends who insisted on watching “Carrie,” even though some girls (read: me) were too scared to even look at the television, that night did not go as planned.

But nothing beats the Big Halloween Party of 8th Grade.

My friend Mindy and I got all dressed up, stopped by my Granny’s house to get some candy and snap a picture, and then headed out to the country for a good ol’ barn dance.

Okay, so it wasn’t so much a barn dance as a real, live boy and girl party in a . . . barn. But the boys and girls mostly stayed on opposite sides of that barn, honest. And as it turns out, Mindy was the only one who showed up wearing flannel and overalls.

She was dressed as a hobo. I was dressed as a gypsy. And everyone else was dressed as awkward adolescents who did not dress up for Halloween.

We were mortified. We ran into our friend’s house and called Mindy’s mom. We begged her to bring us clothes to change into, and she was more than willing. Unfortunately, Mindy lived on Trick or Treating Central, so there was no getting out of the driveway.

Eventually, one of her neighbors took pity on us and drove out with two normal outfits. Finally, we could head back to the barn and stand next to the rest of the girls who were staring at the boys.

Have you ever had a costume catastrophe? A holiday mishap? A less than perfect Halloween? Tell us all about it – link up in the MckLinky, and leave a comment!

Need more motivation to comment? How about a giveaway? What’s that? You want more than that? Okay, how about three giveaways?

Click over to my new review/giveaway page for the details!

Link up your posts, check out the giveaway and comment! And remember – give up on a perfect Halloween. The results might just be spooktacular. Or, ah, bootiful?

Darn it. I went nearly 800 words without a cheesy Halloween pun. Sorry, friends. I just couldn’t help it. Happy Halloween!

Marriage. Marriage is what brings us together today.

Thanks to the wonders of Facebook, I found out over the weekend that one of my dearest friends has left his wife of more than a dozen years.

As I learned about his affair and the battle that’s already begun over his two children, I sobbed. I didn’t know what to say, how to react, what to feel. I just knew that nothing about this situation is okay.

And I was reminded of a couple years ago when three of our couple friends (friend couples?) got divorced, all within a few months of each other. One couple went through a very public split that involved betrayal and infidelity; another couple lost a business, their house and eventually their love for each other. The third couple just stopped fighting and moved on.

I don’t say any of this lightly. Though I was close to each of the couples I’m describing, I’m well aware that I have no idea of the pain they’ve been through. All of my friends who have experienced divorce have hurt – they’ve hurt each other and they’ve been hurt themselves – and I know they still bear the scars of broken relationships, broken promises, broken hearts.

Thinking about this, facing this – it just makes me so sad. I don’t presume to know the details of anyone else’s relationship or what is right or wrong for anyone’s life. But I do know that each of my friends made promises to God and to each other, and those promises have been broken.

I’ve broken promises, too. Mark and I have been married for 10 years (woo-hoo!), but the majority of those years have been peppered with fights and frustrations and tears and tantrums and disappointments and – hmmm, I wish I could think of something else that started with a “d.” But you get the point.

We came into marriage with expectations and assumptions, and we each let the other down in every way possible. We’re going through a Bible study about marriage right now, and the chapter we just finished talks about focusing on the good things about your spouse and ignoring the bad things. Let’s just say we had that reversed for more than a few years.

Early in our marriage, we even considered whether or not we’d made a mistake by getting married in the first place. I said I didn’t know if it would work. I thought that maybe it wouldn’t.

I’m not sure how we made it through. Not without scars of our own, that’s for sure. But somehow, we kept putting one foot in front of the other. We kept coming home to each other. We kept trying to fight it out and figure it out. We talked, we cried (Okay, I cried. Mark handed me Kleenex.), we prayed, we screamed, we planned, we promised – and then we did it all over again.

Why did we stay together? Is it that we couldn’t stand breaking our promises for good? Were we afraid of disappointing our families? Were things really not that bad?

Well, no. They were bad. We’ve had, ahem, issues. But in the end, we still loved each other. (Even when we didn’t like each other at all.) And we realized that our problems didn’t make us want to escape the relationship. Instead, they just made us anxious – no, desperate – to fix what had gone wrong.

I am not judging my friends or anyone else who has ended a marriage. I know that it’s only by the grace of God that I have not been in their shoes. Those situations break my heart, but they also remind me of how blessed I am. I spent the afternoon after learning about my friend’s affair patting my husband on the arm, just making sure he knows that I’m still here, and that I’m glad he’s still here, too.

A few of my friends have written some beautiful posts recently about marriage, and I want to share them with you.

• Lisa-Jo wrote about expectations and the Prince Charming myth.
• Sarah wrote about her affair and how God redeemed her – and her marriage.
• And Alece shared the story of her husband’s betrayal and how she’s picking up the pieces.

I also want to hear from you, about your relationships, about your experience. How have you made it through tough times in your marriage?

My (new) morning routine

My disdain for housecleaning has been well-documented, so it's a little odd that my daughter loves to clean as much as she does. But give that girl a Clorox wipe, and she is one happy camper.

Given her gotta-get-it-clean-Mommy tendencies, I haven't been surprised to see how much she loves brushing her teeth. But what has surprised me a bit is her love of my entire morning routine.

From the minute I step out of the shower and crack the bathroom door, Annalyn is fascinated by every step I take to get ready for my day.

"Panties, Mommy?"
"Umm, yes, baby. Those are Mommy's panties."

Thankfully her interest doesn't stop at my underwear. Because that would be weird. After she "helps" me get dressed, then we move on to our teeth.

"Remember, Annalyn. When I'm finished brushing, you're finished brushing."
"Okay, Mommy. Pft!"
"No, you don't need to spit, baby."

And then it's time for makeup, although Annalyn's Daddy kindly says we're beautiful without it.

"Some. Some, Mommy."
"Okay, baby doll. Here's some chapstick for you. Go like this: MWAH!"
"Cheeks! Cheeks, Mommy!" "Lotion! Lotion!" "Eyes, Mommy! Eyes!"

My new morning routine takes a bit longer to get through, but it works for me. What does your morning routine look like?

Don't forget!

Remember - this Friday, October 30, is the Giving Up on a Perfect Halloween Carnival! I'll have a giveaway, a scary embarrassing story, pictures galore and a place to link up your own imperfect Halloween posts.

Need inspiration? Well . . .

• Have you ever turned off the porch light and eaten the rest of your Halloween candy by yourself?
• Have you ever had a great idea for a costume . . . that didn't quite work out?
• Do you think it's more fun to enjoy Halloween as a kid or as an adult?
• Do you like haunted houses and scary movies? Or do they make you pee your pants scream?
  

Or, what about . . .

• Your best homemade costume
• Your favorite Halloween candy
• The tastiest Halloween treats you've ever made
• Your family's fall traditions

Here's what it comes down to, friends: There's no perfect way to spend any holiday. So let's kick off the end-of-the-year holiday rush by not stressing out. And celebrating our funny, scary, sweet and memorable stories about Halloween.

And, oh yeah, by entering to win a big ol' prize. See you on Friday!