Giving Up on a Perfect Christmas

Broken cookies.
Dry turkey.
Sold-out stores.
Thoughtless gifts.
The flu.
A blizzard.
Family, ahem, issues.

The list of things that can possibly ruin the holidays is long. But you know what? None of these things has to ruin anything. We can choose to enjoy ourselves and find meaning in the holidays, no matter how imperfect they are.

Not that I'm saying I'm good at this. After all, if I was an expert or something, I'd have to call my blog "Gave Up on Perfect." Am I right, or am I right?

So, will you join me in giving up on a perfect Christmas this year? And while we’re at it, let’s share our best beautifully imperfect Christmas stories.

For me, one of my favorite not-so-perfect Christmas memories is from my elementary years. I’m not sure exactly how old I was, but I know I had started taking piano lessons, and I was in Camp Fire. Because while a bright blue polyester Camp Fire uniform wasn’t terribly exciting, I was really bummed to open a box and see . . . a pacemaker.

Now, this pacemaker was actually a metronome (Pacemaker was the brand name), but this happened the Christmas after my granddad had gotten an actual pacemaker. In his heart.

It was just a little weird.

What’s your story? Write a post about how you’ve given up on a perfect Christmas, and link up below. And don’t forget to enter to win this beautiful Lisa Leonard necklace.



How do you do that? It’s easier than wrapping all your gifts in coordinating paper. You get one entry for each of the following:

• Leave a comment telling me about your imperfect Christmas plans or your funniest/craziest/most imperfect Christmas memory.
• Subscribe to Giving Up on Perfect by e-mail or RSS.
  
• Join the Giving Up on Perfect Facebook page and leave a comment telling me you did it.
• Follow me on Twitter and leave a comment telling me you did it. 
• (If you've already done these things, just leave a comment saying so. That will count.)
  

I’ll randomly draw a winner after midnight on Saturday, December 19, and announce it on Monday.

Until then (well, you know, after you link up and comment!), eat some broken cookies, print labels for that stack of cards and frame that picture of your crying baby on Santa's lap. It's all part of a not so perfect Christmas!

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Who’ll be my role model, now that my role model is gone?

When I was in seventh grade, I had this civics teacher. He was young and single and fun and yes, I did have a stupid crush on him, okay? He taught us about important things like Vietnam and animal abuse.

I thought he was wonderful.

And then came the day I discovered that, while he may be wonderful, he certainly wasn’t perfect. I found out, through an older friend from church, that he may have smoked pot in college.

[GASP!]

Did I mention that I grew up in a conservative family in a small town? It’s true. I was sheltered. But even though I can look at that piece of information with a completely different perspective than I had when I was 13, I will never forget how disappointed I was to learn that this man I’d looked up to had done something wrong.

I imagine that’s how many people have felt over the past couple weeks with the Tiger Woods debacle.

We’ve all read the stories and heard the commentaries and perhaps even held conversations ourselves. The whole thing has started me thinking about role models and the people we look up to.

Mark heard a man on sports radio talking about Tiger Woods, and he said something to the effect of, “You just can’t trust anyone. From famous athletes to politicians to Baptist deacons, everybody has secrets. Everybody makes mistakes. Everybody is human.”

I can’t argue with that. (Especially since I’m not even sure why I put quotes around that little paragraph. Because while Mark did, indeed, tell me about what he heard, I honestly can’t remember exactly what the radio guy said. And so I made up that whole statement. Except the part about deacons. He definitely said that.)

But regardless of that guy’s exact words or if you love Tiger or hate him, all of this raises a valid point: How do we choose our role models?

In the past two weeks, I’ve seen two strong women portrayed on screen. Both hit me with a force that I found surprising; both have stayed with me and made me want to be a stronger person.

But while Sandra Bullock’s Leigh Anne Tuohy (The Blind Side) is based on a real person and Julianna Margulies’s Alicia Florrick (The Good Wife) is a composite of many actual political wives, neither is a role model. They’re both fictional, made up, not real. Even though I admire these characters, I still need and want to look up to real people, faults and all. And that’s a hard thing to do.

It’s easier to fixate on Photoshopped celebrities, characters in a book or people portrayed in movies. Those people don’t have blemishes, weaknesses, faults. They always say the right thing, do the right thing, are the right thing.

But they’re still not real.

So, even though I love seeing strong women portrayed in books, movies and TV (Julia Sugarbaker will always have a special place in my heart), I’m thankful for real people to admire. People like my mom, former colleagues, my cousins, my friends.

Even though they’re not perfect. Even though – and because – they’re real.

Who do you look up to? Have you ever been disappointed by a role model?

[For your entertainment, here are my favorite scenes from The Good Wife, The Blind Side and Julia Sugarbaker herself. And in case you didn't win today's round of Name That Tune, the title of today's post is from a song with the funniest video ever. Also known as Call Me Al.]

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I'm only using tape and paper to wrap presents this year.

There are those who give with joy, and that joy is their reward. (Kahlil Gibran)

Last night we had friends over for dinner. After we put our daughter to bed and polished off a pan of chicken enchiladas, I cleaned off the table and opened up our game closet. (Also known as our coat closet, but “game closet” sounds oh-so fancy, doesn’t it?)

We briefly considered Boggle and I pulled for the old standard, Scattergories, but we eventually decided on 90s Trivial Pursuit. As we set it up and debated whether or not reading the rules was in order, I said, “Mark got this for me a few Christmases ago, and I was so excited.”

As a matter of fact, I could tell you everything my husband gave me for Christmas that year – four years ago. Because he actually got me things I wanted.

See, my love language is gift giving. And while you might think this would make Christmas an automatic WIN for me, it does not.

Because nobody ever lives up to my expectations.

To read the rest of this article, please visit (in)courage.

And don’t forget about our Giving Up on a Perfect Christmas carnival and giveaway this Friday.

Have you ever eaten broken all the Christmas cookies? Or broken the news to your nephew that Santa Claus might not be real? Get frostbite while Christmas caroling or perform an embarrassing solo at the office party? Or accidentally electrocute the cat with Christmas lights?

No matter what kind of story you have, write a post and link up! Then enter to win a Lisa Leonard necklace. I hope to see you there, and I hope you have a wonderful, merry Christmas!

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No more robbing Peter to play Santa

The first year Mark and I were married, we were so excited for Christmas. We were, after all, official grown-ups now, so of course we needed to buy presents for every single person we knew and loved.

And so, out came the credit card.

In the years that followed, that spending strategy became a habit, and we quickly accumulated several maxed-out credit cards and accounts – and then, slowly, paid them off.

For the past few years, as we’ve become more responsible with our money, I still haven’t been sure how to handle Christmas. So we usually wait until the last minute, crossing our fingers for a Christmas bonus, praying for a year-end windfall and eventually juggling our bills and paychecks to scrape out a modest gift budget.

A budget that’s usually blown – and paid for in January . . . and February . . . and sometimes March – because frantic, last-minute shopping is inevitably more expensive than thoughtful purchases made over time.

This year, though, I actually took a look at our budget in January. I realized that four times a year, Mark gets an extra paycheck (because I budget for four checks a month, but the year has 52 – not 48 – weeks) and I get two extra paychecks a year (again, I budget for two checks a month, but I get paid every other week, which means 26 checks a year).

Next, I made a list of all the “extra” expenses I could think of: Christmas (obviously), birthday presents, Mother’s Day and Father’s Day, new tires and regular oil changes. These were the things that seemed to trip us up every year and put us behind financially, as we scrambled to find money to pay for what shouldn’t have been unexpected expenses.

[Looking back – and forward, to 2010 – I should have included the occasional baby or wedding shower and in-home party (like Pampered Chef, because yes, I actually like these parties).]

After adding up all those expenses and comparing the total amount to our extra paychecks, I was so excited to realize that the amounts matched up pretty well. It wasn’t perfect, and I had to lower adjust the amount I wanted to spend on gifts. But still – I was finally getting a leg up on Christmas (and the whole year’s extra expenses)!

I can’t say the year’s gone perfectly. We still have some under-budgeting and over-spending issues. And I have had to readjust and refigure and rethink several line items. But, I was able to “find” money for Christmas by Thanksgiving, which means . . . (yes, I do feel like this deserves a drum roll) . . . as of Friday, I had almost all of my Christmas shopping done!

Are you finished with your shopping?
How do you budget for Christmas?
And what should I get for my grandma?

If you’re still looking for gift ideas, Stephanie put together a great list of books written by bloggers. And I have a suggestion for Santa over on Blissfully Domestic.

Actually making a Christmas/gift budget works for me. For more good ideas, visit Works for Me Wednesday at We Are THAT Family.

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Christmas Tour of Homes

Welcome! Come on in!

If you’re visiting from The Nester’s Christmas Tour of Homes (or if you’re just here, making the rounds on a regular Monday morning), I’d like to invite you to come back on Friday for Giving Up on a Perfect Christmas. We’ll swap stories of beautifully imperfect (to borrow a certain someone’s phrase) holidays, and I’ll give away a beautiful Lisa Leonard necklace!

Now, on to the touring . . .

I didn't put all my ornaments up this year. Now that we have a toddling toddler in the house, I'm not sure how safe my treasures are - or how safe they are for that kiddo! And, of course, there are always the cats to consider. As in, what will they destroy this year!?

So far, so good. We've only had one casualty, and it was only an ornament down, not even broken.

In addition to my dozens of shiny, matte and glittery red ornaments, I did put a few special ornaments up. Last year, we got Annalyn that frame ornament and recorded her giggling. And then I accidentally erased it. (Talk about giving up on a perfect Christmas, right?)

The Snoopy ornament is one of mine from 1980, and the hammer is the first one he bought for his tiny Christmas tree the year before we got married.

Normally, I fill this large vase with plastic (although very realistic-looking, of course) apples and berries. In my attempt to be a little more festive this year, I dumped out the fruit and dropped (carefully) in some of the red ornaments.

I've read some blog posts recently about how buying an artificial tree is a cop-out. That's funny, because I don't know if I even know anyone who buys a real tree these days. Do you?

Makes me think of a slumber party I went to back in middle school. It was on New Year's Eve and my friend's family still had their [very real] Christmas tree up. Sadly, my embarrassing allergies were out of control that night, and my friend's mom ended up taking their tree down and tossing it outside!

I felt terrible, and the point of this rabbit trail is this: I put up a fake tree, but my tree-smelling candle makes it seem a bit more genuine.

So, that's a bit of my home. If you want to see a few more pictures, check out last year's Tour of Homes post. And if you're new here and want to read more, check out these posts:

Marriage. Marriage is what brings us together today.
"I learned more from the stains than I did the paper."
Cleaning when the clock is ticking...
It's all about the chili.

Thanks for stopping by today. Merry Christmas!!

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Saturday Review: The Familiar Stranger

When I got the Christian Fiction Blog Alliance’s monthly list of books available for review, I wasn’t sure any of them looked like something I’d pick up off the library shelf. But I went ahead and requested one.

Not because I need another book on my to-read list. But because I am trying to broaden my reading tastes. (Yes, Chelley, that means I will – someday soon, I promise – read Harry Potter.)

So when The Familiar Stranger by Christina Berry arrived in the mail, I wasn’t exactly jumping up and down. [Although, let’s be honest, it would take a whole lot of something special to get this girl off the ground.]

The main reason I hesitated to read this novel was my suspicion that it would be sad. Real sad. And I was right. Berry’s book certainly has its share of sad – and then some.

But that’s not the end of the story. Thankfully, the story is one of redemption and second chances and a whole host of other not-sad things.

The reason I picked up the book in the first place – aside from my nearing deadline for writing a review – was actually one of the endorsements on the back from another author whose blog about writing fiction I subscribe to.

Christina Berry is a woman who really understands how men think.
The Familiar Stranger had me from the very first sentence,
and it kept me flipping pages right through to the end.
It’s a terrific debut novel and I’ll be watching eagerly for her next one.
~ Randy Ingermanson, Christy award-winning author of Oxygen

I have to agree with Randy. The author did a great job (as far as I can tell) of getting inside not only the female protagonist’s mind, but also the man in the story, too. And she doesn’t pull any punches. Don’t expect to fall in love with the main character’s husband in those first few pages, but do expect to be hooked!

For a few days, I read this in every spare second. Even toward the end, when I was pretty sure I knew what would happen, I just kept reading. (And, for the record, I was mostly right, thanks to my vast consumption of stories in all mediums. Still, Grey’s Anatomy has nothing on this complicated story!)

Here’s the summary, and you can read more about the author on her website.

Craig Littleton's decision to end his marriage would shock his wife, Denise . . . if she knew what he was up to. When an accident lands Craig in the ICU, with fuzzy memories of his own life and plans, Denise rushes to his side, ready to care for him.

They embark on a quest to help Craig remember who he is and, in the process, they discover dark secrets. An affair? An emptied bank account? A hidden identity? An illegitimate child?

But what will she do when she realizes he's not the man she thought he was? Is this trauma a blessing in disguise, a chance for a fresh start? Or will his secrets destroy the life they built together?

Have you read any [unexpectedly] good books lately?

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C is for Cookie

These are not my cookies.

(Image by summerlovin)

The first Christmas after Mark and I got married, we decided to make cookies. I don't remember if we mixed up a sugar cookie recipe or if we went store-bought, but I distinctly remember lots of frosting, cookie cutters and sprinkles.

Yes, we definitely had sprinkles.

Actually, now that I think about it, if we took the time to mix up frosting and cut out candy cane and tree-shaped cookies, I'm pretty sure we used an actual recipe for that cookie dough.

And there was A. Lot. of cookie dough. Which made A. Lot. of cookies. I remember starting the process so excited and all newlywed-y, but by the time we got finished, we were so sick of cookies! We had cookies on every surface of that tiny one-room apartment. Lucky for all of our friends - because they all got a plate of those puppies. Or, trees and candy canes, as the case may be.

Since then, I haven't done much Christmas baking. Sure, I make all sorts of side dishes. And my Brownies From a Box never fail. But cookies? No, not so much.

So when I started reading about the fun cookie [recipe] exchanges going on this week, I was kind of bummed out. And then I was delusional thought I'd just whip something up, so I could join in.

And then I forgot.

But today I saw Jessica's First Cookie Recipe Exchange at The Mom Creative, and I remembered again. And I decided to stop by the store after work, get some cookie dough and frosting in a can, and write about how you don't have to be fancy to have Christmas fun in the kitchen.

And then I got to the store.

They were out of the frosting I wanted, and they didn't have any red and green sprinkles. So I bought almond bark and pretzels instead. And M&Ms.

You never know when you're going to need M&Ms.

Long story not short but finally to the point? I made almond bark-covered snack mix. Does it have a name? I don't know. My cousin makes it, and I call it . . . YUM. Here's a picture:

And here's the recipe, if you can call it that:

3 cubes of almond bark
Half cup of cheerios
Half cup of little marshmallows
Half cup of broken pretzels
2 packages of M&Ms

I might be wrong on the "half cup" part. Basically, I melted those three cubes and started dropping the other ingredients into the bowl. Possibly at random. And when it looked good? I put it in the fridge.

(You don't have to put it in the fridge unless you're in a hurry. To eat the YUM.) Makes 4 servings. Or two really big ones.

So, that's what I've got for you. If you have your own (real) cookie recipe or want to look at a couple or hundred, check out The Mom Creative's First Cookie Recipe Exchange and Blissfully Domestic's 12 Days of Christmas Cookies.

This post will also be linked to Mouthwatering Monday, Tasty Tuesday, Tuesdays at the Table and Tempt My Tummy Tuesday.

What's your favorite kind of Christmas cookie? Have you made any yet this year?

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Does anyone actually use boughs of holly?

What does your house look like in December? Is it covered, top to bottom, in red and green and holly and ivy? Or are your Christmas decorations few and far between?

If I had to guess, I'd say your answer probably has something to do with how many years you've lived on your own. Or perhaps it's related to how your family celebrated holidays - or how many boxes they sent with you when you moved out on your own!

Most of us, I think, collect our holiday decorations bit by bit over the years, building a collection that brightens our homes, reflects our values and preserves our memories.

This year, I'm excited to be adding to my collection with a few pieces from Dayspring. Have you seen their Jesus is the Gift Snowflake line? Red is my favorite color, so I might be biased, but I think these items just might work with anyone's Christmas decor. Check it out:

Aprons are all the rage right now. You can hardly pass a blog giveaway (including mine!) without seeing another cute apron. This one's on sale for $15.99, and the half apron and child's apron are both even less!

Okay, now raise your hand if you've been invited to a cookie exchange this year. I was, but it fell on my Everything Happens When I Go Out of Town weekend. But I have a feeling I'll still have the chance to display some Christmas cookies, fudge or other sweets on this cute plate. (And it's only $10.99!)

After I got these tea towels, I started thinking about my regular towels. Then I started looking at them. And thinking some more. And I am pretty sure they are more than 10 years old. Well, they still dry my hands and the dishes - but these new towels are way cuter!

Until Monday (December 14), you can get 25% off any purchase from Dayspring. Just use the code: GIFT25. And if you'd like, you can get to the Dayspring store from the banner over in my right sidebar.

I love my new Christmas decorations, and you can visit The Diaper Diaries for more loved things. But now tell me: what's your favorite Christmas decoration?

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If you hold your mouth JUST right...

Annalyn has been trying to jump this week. I don't even know what's "normal" for gross motor skill milestones anymore, but I'm finding this even more exciting than when she started walking backwards a couple weeks ago.

And cuter, too - because when I asked her to try to jump, she concentrated so hard, even holding her mouth crooked. You know that helps, right? Holding your mouth right?

I don't know where that phrase comes from. In my mind, I can hear my mom and my granny saying it. Is it a southern saying? Or just something my family said?

What about you? Do you have to hold your mouth just right when you're doing something difficult or new?

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I got a feeling (woo-hoo!) . . .

And you’re welcome for putting that little ditty in your head. I couldn’t help it. I do have a feeling that next week’s going to be a fun week. Just look at all the bloggy excitement taking place:

The Holly Bloggy Christmas Bash – Jerri at Simply Sweet Home has invited us to participate in the weeklong carnival she’s holding with four other bloggers. From homemade gifts and crafts to trees, recipes and traditions, they’ve got it all covered.

The Christmas Tour of Homes – Formerly hosted by BooMama, this virtual homes tour has moved to The Nester’s place! On Monday, link up a post with photos of your house, all decked out for the season. And remember, as The Nester says, “It’s not a contest! No perfect decorations allowed.”

My Favorite Things: Six Weeks of Free Stuff – Every Monday until the end of the year (including next Monday), Sarah Markley is giving away some of her favorite things.

Around the Table with Tami – Every Tuesday in December, Tami is hosting a virtual cookie exchange, and every Thursday of the month she’s hosting a gift idea exchange. She’s giving away Homemade Gourmet products during each carnival.

And don’t forget that Simple Mom is helping us create a more peaceful Christmas with her 12-week checklist of ideas, from budgeting and shopping to traditions and decorations.

Last, but most certainly not least, is my very own carnival. On my very own birthday!

Okay, so the birthday doesn’t really have anything to do with the carnival, other than sharing a date. Or maybe it does. Because though my parents worked hard to prevent the usual disappointments associated with a December birthday, it can still be a bummer to be born just one week before, you know, Jesus.

But just like we decided that we don’t really need handmade costumes and intricately carved jack o’lanterns for Halloween or fourteen elaborate side dishes and a Martha Stewart-approved centerpiece for Thanksgiving (not that there’s anything wrong with that), let’s give up on a perfect Christmas this year.

Did you forget to buy a present for someone? Break all the Christmas cookies? Break the news to your nephew that Santa Claus might not be real? Get frostbite while Christmas caroling or perform an embarrassing solo at the office party? Or accidentally electrocute the cat with Christmas lights?

Or what about the year that you just plum forgot the real meaning of Christmas and got too caught up in the busy-ness and the business of shopping and cooking and decorating and partying and hosting and mailing?

Spill the beans. Let the electrocuted cat out of the bag. Tell us all about it.

Let’s Give Up on a Perfect Christmas. Join me next Friday, December 18. We’ll laugh, we’ll cry, and we’ll give away this Lisa Leonard necklace!

In the meantime, tell me how your Christmas season is going so far. Are your Christmas cards in the mail? How much shopping do you have left to do? How many Christmas cookies have you already eaten? And most importantly (and a question I need to answer, too): Have you made time to hold on to the holy?

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