Giving Up on a Perfect Thanksgiving

Don't even tell me if you're only interested in the giveaway part of this here carnival. Just go ahead and skip to the end. But you should really read the whole post. It's touching. And thought-provoking. And I talk about cats. And Cracker Barrel.

If that's not enough to make you keep reading, well, I just don't know what will do it...

You know how it's so hard to get out the door some days? Especially when you have to be somewhere at a certain time?

It's those days when you can't find your keys or you have a fight with your husband over something stupid. Corralling your kids is like herding cats . . . and keeping your cats out of the garage is like herding kids.

But once you finally get into the car? Whew! You can breathe a sigh of relief.

Sure, you might have to deal with traffic or snow or ice, the kids might be whiny and the car's defrost might smell like mildew, but at least you're on the road.

And then you arrive. It's Thanksgiving, and all the family has gathered to celebrate the holiday. You pile into the house, take off your coats, say your hellos and make the first round of hugs. And then you realize...

You forgot the turkey. At home. Over an hour away.

Now what? Well, if you're my family a few years ago, you simply brown up some hamburger and have tacos for Thanksgiving dinner. Because, really? It's not the turkey that matters.

(And that stressed out family that forgot to pack the turkey in the chaotic mini-van now has dinner for the next week!)

Have you ever had that kind of Thanksgiving?

I wish I were a little more on top of things. Then I would have remembered to dig out and scan a picture of my family on Thanksgiving a few years back. In Florida. At a Cracker Barrel.

It wasn't exactly anyone's idea of the perfect holiday, but my great aunt needed help moving to a new home. And so my mom bought us all tickets and we flew south for the winter - or, at least, for the Thanksgiving weekend.

I won't lie. We didn't have a whole lot of fun that weekend. There was a lot of family stress (Some might even say "dysfunction," but of course I wouldn't. Nope, not me.), and the weather wasn't even that impressive. You'd think Thanksgiving in Florida would be fun - beaches and sunshine and all that, right? Um, no. Not that year.

But here's the thing: We were there for family. And that was the last time we got to see my Granna, my Great Aunt Anna. And I wouldn't trade that for all the homemade turkey dinner and Missouri weather in the world.

So, let's give up on the idea of a "perfect" Thanksgiving. It's okay if your turkey isn't golden brown. Don't worry if you have to celebrate on Friday instead of Thursday. And if someone forgets to put the sugar in the pumpkin pie, let her off the hook (ahem, Shelly).

Because it's not really about the gourmet food. Or the beautiful presentation. Or the autumn decor.

It's about spending time with those family members you only see a few times a year. It's about taking a moment, an hour, a day to thank God for all that He's given us. It's about old and new traditions that have special meaning to our families. It's about the Yahtzee games and the green punch and the Plaza lights and the wishbone and the kids running around and drawing names for Christmas and breaking out the china for the girls and letting the guys watch football - or whatever is important to your family.

Tell me about it. What REALLY matters for your Thanksgiving? When did you have to give up on perfect? What are your plans for next week? Let us have it - in the comments and in your own posts.

That's right! Don't forget - playing along with today's carnival gives you a chance to win one heck of a Thanksgiving prize! One lucky - and, I'm sure, thankful - reader will win this cool stuff:

• An autographed copy of The Pioneer Woman Cooks: Recipes from an Accidental Country Girl
• A matching adult and child's apron from Dayspring's Life Collection
  
• A limited edition (read: I got it at the book signing) Pioneer Woman Book Tour t-shirt

How can you enter this awesome contest? Simple.

• Leave a comment telling me a Thanksgiving memory - perfect or otherwise.
  
• Or subscribe to this blog (and leave a comment telling me you did it).
  
• Or become a fan of Giving Up on Perfect on Facebook (and leave a comment telling me you did it).
• And yes, if you are already subscribed or a fan, that counts. Just leave a comment telling me.

Comments made by midnight on Saturday, November 21, will be eligible. After I consult Random.org, I'll announce the winner on Sunday. Or Monday. Because I'm giving up on perfect, too, remember!



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Thankful Thursday: The Little Things

Image from The Legacy Builder

Last week, I was all set to tell you about the funny little things I’d thought about over the past week, small blessings that I was truly thankful for. But then I watched the Compassion Bloggers chat from El Salvador and was torn all to pieces.

I didn’t think I had the right to be thankful for the little things. I didn’t think it was okay to focus on the trivial parts of my abundantly rich life. I didn’t think it would be nice to talk about how blessed I am when so many are suffering.

And so I told you about how I pray with Annalyn every night, and we thank God for a place to live and food to eat (and Elmo to play with). And that was true. We do that. I keep it simple, so she can understand and start developing a true sense of gratitude.

But that’s not the end of the story.

See, we’re going through the book of Genesis at church. I’m not even sure what prompted my thoughts on Sunday – perhaps a reminder that God made every living thing on this planet – but I found myself feeling so convicted.

I realized, as I thought about the mountains and the trees and the rocks and the flowers and the birds and the dinosaurs (Just kidding. We did not talk about dinosaurs.) and the animals that God does amazing things. He always has, and He always will.

And He does them for us. So we can see Him and know Him and get a glimpse of His majesty.

Somehow, that thought brought another idea to mind: Maybe it’s okay to talk about how much I appreciate the little things. In fact, maybe it would be wrong not to be grateful for the little things. So, without further ado or deep thought, here are a few things I’m thankful for today:

• Good friends who make me laugh so hard my sides hurt.
• Finding Cinnamon Trident at the Target register a couple weeks ago. Red Trident has been missing for so long . . . and I have been missing it. So I bought two packs (one for me, one for my dad, who's also been missing the red gum).
• Coupons to my favorite department store. Even better? Two coupons - one for $25 off and one for 25% off - that I can use together.
• Getting the opportunity to sing a great song at our Christmas program.
• The chance to write for (in)courage. I love the community and ministry that they've built at Dayspring, and being a part of it has really blessed me this fall!
• Meeting The Pioneer Woman at her book signing on Monday.
• A wonderful friend who not only agreed to watch Annalyn at the last minute but also brought her McDonald's for dinner!
  
• And speaking of my daughter - Annalyn fell off her chair at Chipotle yesterday and hit the concrete floor. Aside from a bump on her head, though, she's completely fine - and apparently able to turn a backflip. I'm so thankful for God's protection (despite us feeding her fast food twice in three days!)!
• The fact that even when you don't technically follow the recipe and the Rice Krispy treats don't turn out exactly right . . . they still taste good.
  

So there you have it. Maybe these things are minor, insignificant, small. But they're mine. And I'm thankful for them.

What are you thankful for today? Link up your thankful posts below or tell us in the comments!

(P.S. This post will be entered in Scribbit's Write-Away Contest. You can do it, too. It's not too late to enter. You have until Sunday!)

“Leftovers are the enemy.”

Or so said Ree Drummond.

On Monday night, I went to a book signing for The Pioneer Woman’s cookbook. My friend Heather and I joined about 500 other people (okay, mostly women) to hear Ree talk about cooking, homeschooling, kids and, of course, Marlboro Man.

The Man himself – and two of their “punks” – were along for the ride. They seemed to be willing participants in the book tour, enjoying themselves by grabbing the microphone (punks) and posing for pictures (Marlboro Man).

Now, before I tell you all the wonderful things Ree said, I’ve got to tell you about the event itself. I’d seen pictures on The Pioneer Woman blog and a couple other sites, and they all showed huge crowds and long lines. But here in Kansas City (where, just for the record, Ree said everyone is “beautiful and kind”), we were remarkably organized.

Of course, by “we,” I mean Rainy Day Books, the local bookstore that hosted the event. And they don’t know who I am. There actually is no “we.”

But if there were a “we,” I’d be extremely proud of us! Because that book signing was one well-oiled machine. We had numbered tickets and could pick them – and our books – up in advance. The doors opened early, and the bookstore only sold as many tickets as the building had seats. (Apparently, they’re real particular about fire codes or some such business.) The president of the bookstore spent 45 minutes asking questions from the audience, and Ree graciously answered them all.

She then gave us a brief Ethel Merman impression, drew winners for a few door prizes and sat down at the signing table. Then we lined up in groups of 50 at a time, according to the number on our tickets, and we got us some signed books. They even had people going down the line with Post-its, writing down the name or personal note we wanted on our books.

Aside from Ree’s little boys grabbing the microphone a few times and driving the bookstore’s president cuh-razy and some women who were too anxious to wait in line for their t-shirts (did I mention we got t-shirts?), the book signing went off without a hitch.

And then there was Ree. The Pioneer Woman herself! In person! She was sweet and witty and charming and beautiful. And I met her and talked to her and didn’t cry one bit. I may have forgotten to tell her my name. But I did not cry. Even when I mentioned Compassion and my friend, Sara.


So there.

Here are a few gems from the question and answer part of the event:

Question: What would your life be like if you hadn’t met Marlboro Man?
Answer: “Oh, I have nightmares about it! I can’t imagine my life without him.”

Question: What was your worst cooking disaster?
Answer: “A vegetable lasagna I made in high school. Instead of ¼ cup of chopped parsley, I used 4 cups. It took me a long time before I could eat parsley!”

Question: What is the best fresh herb to cook with?
Answer: “Right now, rosemary. In the spring, dill. And when I’m hormonal, it’s basil.”

Question: How do you stay sane and maintain balance?
Answer: “That question implies that I am sane!”

Question: Do you ever just fix boxed macaroni and cheese or canned crescent rolls?
Answer: “Oh, sure. My kids have a craving for processed food!”

Ree said that while she can’t respond to comments on her blog, she does read them all. When she was asked if she has a housekeeper and nanny, she laughed. She said she does use a weekly cleaning service, but in her words, “It’s not that glamorous, people.”

Speaking of not-so-glamorous, the topic of rinsing chicken came up. Apparently, the FDA or someone says that rinsing chicken is bad. I don’t know. But what I do know is that The Pioneer Woman agrees with me and rinses her poultry. She said, “I’ve rinsed chicken for 20+ years, and I’m fine . . . relatively speaking.”

She also quoted Steel Magnolias and Napoleon Dynamite, and announced that she’ll be publishing Black Heels to Tractor Wheels, the story of her romance with Marlboro Man. Look for it around Valentine’s Day 2011.

I wish you could have gone to the signing with me. But since you couldn’t, I’m giving away a signed copy of The Pioneer Woman Cooks: Recipes from an Accidental Country Girl. Come back on Friday with your Thanksgiving stories, and join me in Giving Up on a Perfect Thanksgiving. One lucky reader will win the autographed cookbook, a Pioneer Woman t-shirt and matching adult and child aprons from Dayspring’s Life Collection.

See you on Friday! (But, wait, come back tomorrow for Thankful Thursday, too!)

Bread, bread, bo-bread, banana-fanna, mo-bread.

I love banana bread. Last weekend, I had some past-their-prime bananas. And so I decided to make some banana bread.

It seems so simple, doesn't it?

Apparently not. Now, I don't know how you cook, but when I mix something in a bowl, I start with the wet ingredients. It's how my mom does it, and she knows what she's doing when it comes to cooking things from scratch (and, you know, mixing things in a bowl).

According to Smitty, this is backwards. Feel free to weigh in on this debate in the comments. But I hope you agree with me. And, oh yeah, this is completely not the point of today's post.

Today's post is to tell you the sad tale of my banana bread. See, I mixed up all the wet ingredients, taking great care to measure everything exactly. I was even using the occasion as a teaching moment with Annalyn, pulling up a chair for her to watch and introducing her to the Wide World of Fractions.

(What? You think 2 is too young for that?)

My moment of parenting and baking brilliance came to a halt, however, when I opened the flour canister and realized: We had no flour.

I don't bake very often. There. I said it.

No problem. I was in a domestic zone. I just covered the bowl and sent Mark to the store. He got the flour, I dumped it in, and the bread was off to the oven.

Oh, it smelled so good. And I felt so smug, so proud of myself. And then I took it out of the oven.

And it was terrible.

Please, Blog World, tell me: How do you make banana bread?

Speaking of bad bananas, @badbanana is one funny Twitterer. I'm not quite as witty, but since we're talking Twitter, you can follow me @givingupperfect. (And if you don't do the Twitter thing but want to, check out Allison Worthington's Smart Girls' Guide to Twitter.)

Enough of that. Tell me how to make better banana bread! (And say that three times fast!)

This post will be linked to Tasty Tuesday, Tuesdays at the Table and Tempt My Tummy Tuesday.

What's the name of his other leg?

I laughed so hard this weekend.

On Friday, I emailed Smitty to let her know that Annalyn had been requesting her presence. More specifically, she’d been saying her name and calling her silly. Repeatedly. Unprovoked.

I figured that was the same as an invite to come hang out.

Mark also reminded me that I’d agreed to watch our 12-year-old nephew on Friday night. I decided the more, the merrier and rented a movie for all of us to watch.

[Unfortunately, it was a chick flick that Michael wasn’t impressed with – and, honestly, neither were we. But, as tends to happen with cheesy, unrealistic rom-coms, we still found plenty to mock and laugh about.]

So we watched the movie and munched on chocolate chip cookies, but the big fun came later. When we broke out the Uno cards.

See, the cable went out Friday night. And since we have cable internet access, that meant no Facebook stalking and no looking up meaningless details on IMDB. Playing cards was a last resort activity.

But oh, how we laughed! I don’t even know what was funny. I, for one, was not laughing at the score, that’s for sure. Because out of four games (one that lasted longer than the movie, it seemed!), I won ZERO. That’s right. I lost. Every single time.

And on top of that? Smitty called me old. Sure, she said that she meant to say something else. But my younger-by-six-months best friend called me old. And beat me at Uno.

And yet . . . we laughed our heads off! Both Smitty and Michael said they laughed harder than they had in a very long time. And we all had aching cheeks and sides from it.

As if that wasn’t enough, Mark and I had some friends over for dinner on Saturday night and we had such a good time! We ate a lot (a LOT) of cheesy Mexican food and some of us (ahem, boys, ahem) drank an entire two-liter of Dr. Pepper. And then we broke out the Trivial Pursuit.

And again, I lost.

But still, we laughed. We talked about our favorite TV shows (of course), my ridiculous blog (yes, this one), how Brittany and I will never be good Baptist wives (sorry), and many other possibly inappropriate hilarious topics.

The game of Trivial Pursuit may have lasted too long (You would not believe how long it took the girls to come up with Terri Hatcher or how long it took the guys to not come up with Moscow!), but the night ended too soon.

We’re going through Genesis at church, and this week we were reminded that Sunday is a day of rest. We took that to heart, so other than church, we didn’t leave the house. We took rainy afternoon naps, watched some football and some Mickey Mouse Playhouse, and ate leftovers and chili.

Nothing too funny about all that relaxing, I suppose, but the rest of the weekend was full of laughter. Just like the old man in Mary Poppins, I love to laugh. Don’t you? I know I don’t do it enough. When was the last time you laughed so hard your sides hurt?

It’s a Wonderful (Imperfect) Life

I’ve always been what you might call particular. Or, if you’re so inclined, persnickety. I prefer to say I’m exact or, you know, a fan of things being correct.

Whatever you call it, this characteristic has served me well when it comes to my understanding and use of the English language.

Yes, you know it. I’m one of those. I’m a card-carrying member of The Grammar Police. I’m a spelling bee lover. I’m a nerd.

That’s why becoming a professional proofreader was just about the most sensible job change I’ve ever made. (And let me just remind you I have made more than a few job changes in my life.)

So it’s a bit ironic that it was at this very job that I discovered what has become my favorite quote:

The thing that is really hard, and really amazing,
is giving up on being perfect
and beginning the work of becoming yourself.

What? But my job is based on being perfect! If I’m not perfect, then we’re all in trouble!

Um, no. Not really. It turns out that missing a typo on an ad for dog food does not, in fact, cause the world to stop turning.

Allegedly Apparently, nobody really expects me to be perfect.

What a relief! And, honestly, what a struggle. It’s hard for me to accept less than the best, even from – no, especially from – myself. It turns out I’m not alone in this struggle.

Joan C. Webb, a recovering workaholic and perfectionist, has written several books on this very topic, including her newest, It’s a Wonderful (Imperfect) Life. This devotional is a collection of daily reminders that God wants and longs to relieve women from living in a continually overwhelmed state. By reducing our unrealistic expectations, we can find the difference between “trying too hard to make it all just right” (mental chase for flawlessness, which is impossible) and “partnering with God for excellence” (enjoying quality in balance, which is not only possible, but reasonable).

Today, I have the opportunity to share with you one of the devotions from Joan’s book.

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Mark of a Perfect Perfectionist

To all perfection I see a limit. – Psalm 119:96

For months I meticulously planned for a state-wide writing seminar. I wrote confirmation letters, signed contracts, made phones calls and took notes. Schedules and menus were verified, deposits made, and attendance counts submitted.

I arrived at the hall on the designated morning to discover the speaker and board members standing on the sidewalk in the cold. All doors were locked. A security guard drove by, felt sorry for us and let us in. Once inside, we found no podium, microphone or breakfast setup. I made some phone calls and a half an hour later learned that the mix-up was due to someone's faulty alarm clock. He would take a shower, get dressed and come set-up for us. Obviously, this would happen past our starting time.

We had no control over these circumstances, but we had a choice: We could ignore reality (remember, that’s the mark of a perfect perfectionist!) and force through our perfectly planned agenda, consequently experiencing mounting stress, or we could smile, be flexible and bypass the frustration.

We chose to laugh and start the seminar late. The situation confirmed to me again that trying to be a perfect person in an imperfect world is impossible. It also showed me something else: I can change. And that’s no small miracle! Thank you, Lord.

Lord, there are obvious limits to all my perfect planning.
Help me learn to be flexible and adjust to changing circumstances.

Make It Personal: What happened to you this week that you had absolutely no control over? What did you like or not like about how you handled it?

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This post is part of a blog tour traveling the Internet over the next several days. The next devotional will be posted on A Future Pastor’s Wife on Monday, and you can see all the posts on Joan’s site.

How do you deal with less-than-perfect situations you have no control over?

Delicious dives

Early on yesterday, I had an idea for today’s post. But when I sat down to write it last night, I couldn’t remember what it was for the life of me. So, as I do in these instances, I turned to Plinky.com.

And what did Plinky ask? Name the worst-looking place to get the best food.

Awww, yeah. Done and done.

Anyone from Kansas City already knows the answer to this one, but for the rest of you, please allow me to introduce you to . . .

[That’s right. Insert an unnecessary drumroll here.]

Oklahoma Joe’s BBQ!

Named by Anthony Bourdain as one of the 13 Places to Eat Before You Die, Oklahoma Joe’s is located inside a gas station.

I’m not talking a Quik Trip, either. No bright lights. No clean, wide aisles. No “Safe Place” sign outside. Nope, it’s an old corner gas station in every since of the word.

And it has the best BBQ in the city.

A month or so ago, Mark decided he wanted to eat lunch there on a Saturday. So we headed south, drove through downtown, pulled into the last open parking spot and took our place in line. The line that wound its way around the gas station and through the door.

Annalyn was not happy to wait patiently – as usual – but we finally made it to the front of the line. Poor kid. She was even less happy to discover that the food we’d been waiting for was not, in fact, chicken nuggets.

But Mark and I were in BBQ Heaven. It was deeelish.

What’s the worst-looking place you’ve found good food?

Image by Marshall Astor (Because I left my camera in the car the last time we ate there!)

Thankful Thursday: sometimes plans change

Image from The Legacy Builder

I had a list of things that I’m thankful for. I’ve been writing down little and big things over the past week, and I just pulled that list up to put into a little post. A funny post. Because that’s what I do, right?

But you know what? I am sitting here, watching a live chat with the Compassion bloggers in El Salvador. And they are talking about the devastating and heartbreaking poverty they have witnessed this week, and they’re telling stories about children who have saved every letter they ever received from their sponsor, and I’m bawling.

You know what Shaun (Groves) just said? He said that the number of obese people in the world and the number of people who don’t eat every day is approximately the same. So, his point was, God clearly has made enough to go around.

I don’t know how to live with that information.

So as I look at my list of what I’m thankful for, it seems pretty small. And not really that funny after all. So this week, I’m going to kick it serious style and tell you what I pray with Annalyn every night before she goes to bed.

“Dear God, thank you for this day. Thank you for a house to live in and food to eat. Please keep Daddy safe at work and bring him home to us tonight, and please help Annalyn sleep through the night. In Jesus’ name, Amen.”

Each night has a variation on this theme – sometimes we pray for her babysitter and her friends, sometimes we pray for family prayer requests (like job changes or health), sometimes we pray for Elmo – but we always thank God for our house and our food.

After reading and hearing about the children of El Salvador tonight, I’m even more thankful.

But don’t get me wrong. It’s okay to be thankful for other things! Next week, I will most definitely be telling you all about the department store coupon I got in the mail and the exciting surprise I got at the Target checkout. And don’t even get me started on the blessings I’ve received lately from blogging. Stay tuned for all of that.

Tonight, though, I’m thankful for a house to live in and food to eat.

What are you thankful for this week? Leave a comment or link up a post. Or both! Yeah yeah, do both!

Giving up on a perfect Thanksgiving - button

Here's the button! If you'd like to put it on your blog or in your post next Friday, please do.

Compassion, Twitter and a Thanksgiving Carnival

Have you been reading the Compassion Bloggers about their trip to El Salvador? If you’re still wondering if Compassion could really make a difference in a child’s life for just $38 a month, watch this video. It’s long, so follow these directions (courtesy of Bryan Allain):

1. Press play to start the video streaming and then pause it.
2. Come back a minute later and start playing the video at the 3:45 mark.
3. Watch the video for the next 6 minutes and let your heart be moved.

Catalyst 2009 Compassion Moment from Catalyst on Vimeo.

You can sponsor a child today. Also, we're all invited to a live video chat from El Salvador with the Compassion Bloggers TONIGHT, (Wednesday, November 11) at 9 p.m. CST at http://www.livestream.com/compassion.

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On a lighter, way less important note, have you seen the commercials for Windows 7? The ones where people are saying that the new system was their idea? I love the way, in their memory, each person looks much more attractive than they do in real life. Because, come on, who doesn’t do that?

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Do you get this Twitter thing?

For the past 18 months, I’ve been blogging and using Facebook and Twitter. I’ve also been researching social media for my job, reading so many articles and how-to guides that at one point this past summer, my brain really felt like it might explode.

In that year and a half, I’ve read how-to manuals, to-do lists, top 10 mistakes you’re making, top 20 things you must do if you don’t want to look like a jerk, top 4,000 you need to follow on Twitter and more. I’ve read helpful articles, boring articles, funny articles and redundant articles.

But the most helpful thing I’ve read lately? Allison Worthington’s e-book, Smart Girls’ Guide to Twitter. It’s thorough and easy to read, and written in Alli’s “girlfriend speak” instead of “techie speak.” Allison is the founder of Blissfully Domestic, she blogs at Mrs. Fussypants and is a self-proclaimed Twitter-aholic. Her book is 140 pages long (would you expect anything less?) and costs $19.95. Click here for more details. (Disclosure: If you order the book from this link, I will earn a commission.)

I won’t say that I’m an expert on Twitter now. Um, no. (You can follow me @givingupperfect and see for yourself.) But I’m learning, and this book has made it a lot easier to sort through all the info clutter and figure out some simple steps to get better.

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Well, that was absurd, let's eat dead bird!*

Last but not least, it’s time for another Giving Up on Perfect carnival! Next Friday (November 20), we’ll be Giving Up on a Perfect Thanksgiving. (Stay tuned for a button. I’ll try to get it up later today.)

Have you ever forgotten to thaw out the turkey? Made the pumpkin pie without the most important ingredient: sugar? Had to break up a huge family fight over a football game? Or, how about this: do you have any Thanksgiving traditions in your family? What’s your favorite part of Thanksgiving dinner? And do you get up super early the next day to shop?

I want to know all about your beautifully imperfect Thanksgivings – good, bad, beautiful, ugly and everything in between. Link up your post next Friday. And don’t forget to comment – you don’t want to miss this giveaway!

*Home for the Holidays

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That’s my long list of stuff. What’s up with you today?