Can you imagine a life without fear?

Five years ago, I coordinated an eight-week fundraising campaign, including the semi-formal, catered dinner and auction that capped it off. A project that had previously raised around $100,000 to help fight cancer had grown to raise nearly $275,000. I name that campaign as one of the top two accomplishments of my entire life.

At the close of that final event, the script I’d written called for someone to walk up on stage, take the microphone and announce the final total we had raised. After working my tail off for months and pouring my heart and soul into the whole thing, I was – what I call understandably – pretty darned proud of our success.

So you can imagine how excited I was to hop up on stage and announce what we’d done.

But before I could do just that, my manager speed-walked through the room and stomped up the stairs to make the announcement – and, presumably, take credit for what had been accomplished.

Immediately, my eyes welled with tears. I think I even turned away, not able to watch what I perceived to be an incredible injustice. In less than one minute, I went from a completely confident professional practically vibrating with excitement to a shaking, angry, devastated girl who just wanted to hide in the bathroom.

What on earth? What happened in that moment?

As I stood there with my curled hair and made-up eyes, in the beautiful ballroom packed with generous guests, I was overcome by fear. I was afraid that all my work would go unnoticed. I was afraid that nobody would realize who was truly responsible for the campaign’s success. I was afraid that nothing I did really mattered.

I was afraid of being insignificant.

It turns out I’m not the only one afraid of insignificance. At least, I think I must not be, because Max Lucado addresses that very topic first in his latest book, Fearless: Imagine Your Life Without Fear.

We’re all afraid of something. For me, the list includes trains, bugs that sting, losing someone else I love in a car accident, something bad happening to my daughter, my husband dying and not living up to my potential. And that’s just the Cliff Notes version.

With Fearless, Lucado asks us to imagine a life without fear. Addressing 12 types of fears, including insignificance, violence, change, poverty, death and being unforgivable, Lucado uses Scripture to illustrate just how God can eliminate each of those fears and ends with a chapter about the one legitimate fear: the fear of the Lord.

Written with light self-deprecating humor and a casual, friendly tone, Fearless is an easy, encouraging and sometimes even entertaining read. On the other hand, Lucado’s quiet confidence backed by solid Scripture references allows the book to carry more weight, more substance than any oversimplified reminder that God is in control and everything will be all right.

I kept waiting to be disappointed by this book. You might find this shocking, but before “Fearless,” I hadn’t read any books by Max Lucado. I own books by Max Lucado, but I hadn’t read any. [Sorry, Mr. Lucado.]

I wasn’t quite sure what to expect. Some Christian books glaze over the hard questions, skimming the surface of real life and offering pleasant platitudes to ease our pain and dispel our fears.

Lucado didn’t get off that easily. Sure, I finished a couple chapters and wished I’d gotten more answers. But not because Lucado ignored the fact that sometimes bad things do happen – even to those with enormous faith. No, he fully acknowledges that fact of life.

I guess part of me was just hoping this book would provide a step-by-step, money-back guaranteed list of instructions on how to get rid of every fear. In 30 days or less, of course.

With or without an infomercial-style solution, Fearless is a good book. It was a quick and easy read, but it also offers the possibility for more with a 37-page discussion guide that can be used by individuals or groups. I read some of the book’s chapters in-depth, but I skimmed others. And I think using a guide like this one would be helpful.

Are you wondering how my big fancy event ended? Well, I was blessed to have amazing friends at that job, and one of those women saw what was happening. And before I could allow those tears to spill down my cheeks and completely shrink into myself, she grabbed my arm and pulled me up to the stage.

I took the microphone. I made the announcement. The crowd clapped. And then I cried.

Since then I’ve realized that applause and microphones and spotlights don’t make me significant. Only God does that. But it’s still something I struggle with every single day. And I’m thankful for Lucado’s reminder in Fearless: “Courage is always a possibility.”

What are you afraid of?

I love the smell of erasers in the fall.

Can you smell it? The erasers, the crayons, the multi-colored pack of Sharpies. Ahhh, breathe it in.

Well, maybe not the Sharpies. I don’t think that’s recommended by the surgeon general.

It’s that time of year again. The time when my teacher friends try – often unsuccessfully – to hold back their tears at the thought of their summer breaks ending. (This is also known as the time when I try to be supportive while silently regretting my decision not to become a teacher.)

It’s the time of year that many of my mom friends try – again, sometimes unsuccessfully – to hold back their tears as they send their children off to a new grade, a new adventure, a new life.

And it’s the time of year that finds me with an urge to head straight to Walmart, to not pass go and to buy myself a backpack, some Lisa Frank folders or, at the very least, a Big Chief tablet.

To read the rest of this post, head over to (in)courage. I’m there today.

Saturday Review: Royal Pains & 10 Things

In hindsight I probably should have accomplished more this summer. After May sweeps came and went, I was left with little reason to sit on the couch, hypnotized by the black box in the corner.

I should have spent this abundance of free time cleaning. Or cooking healthy meals. Or – oh, speaking of health – working out. Or organizing my pantry. Or reading good books. Or something.

Now that I think about it . . . seriously, where did my summer go?

I’m not sure. I do know I’ve watched a lot of NCIS reruns, and I’m almost finished with season two of Arrested Development (thank you, Mr. Hulu). And, of course, there was my summer favorite: So You Think You Can Dance.

And, okay, so I spent plenty of time playing with Annalyn, reading a few of those good books and this little hobby I’ve found called blogging.

But I also found a couple of new shows to watch this summer. One is an hour-long medial dramedy and the other is a half-hour teen program. Both are funny, and both got decent reviews.

Royals Pains is about a New York City doctor who lost his job after making a choice the hospital board disagreed with. Somehow he ends up in the Hamptons, with his accountant brother, a beautiful and mysterious physician’s assistant, and a romantic prospect who works at the local hospital.

This show was on USA and scheduled right after Burn Notice (an all-time favorite at our house), but I didn’t watch it at first.

You know why? Because I didn’t need another show to watch. Hush.

I don’t remember when or why I started watching it, but I did and it turns out – I really liked it. The reviews I read were all based on the pilot, and many of them mentioned a great supporting cast but a weak lead. All I know is that in the later episodes, the entire cast was funny, quirky and interesting. And I wish I didn’t have to wait until next summer to see more.

(Although, honestly, I’m perfectly happy waiting, because the last thing I need is another Thursday night show in the rotation!)

10 Things I Hate About You, the TV show on ABC Family, is based on the movie of the same name. Which was based on Shakespeare’s Taming of the Shrew. And which starred Julia Stiles – who I love – and Heath Ledger – who the whole world seems to love. The show revolves around two very different sisters entering a new high school. Bianca is shallow and wishes only for popularity; Kat is headstrong and wishes for world peace.

You might not expect that a teeny bopper show on ABC Family would get good reviews, but it did. This show – which is too short at half an hour, if you ask me – has snappy dialogue, smart pop culture references and some more realistic elements than other fluffy teen shows. For example, when the girls throw a clichéd party when their dad goes out of town, they actually get caught by said dad.

[Side note: That really makes me think of Right Said Fred. You know the ones. What ever happened to them?]

Anyway. That snappy dialogue of which I speak? Well, you know it reminds me of my beloved Gilmore Girls. My favorite bit so far was when one sister said to the other (I’ll let you guess who said what to who): “Wow, you know this isn’t Sweet Valley High, right?”

Love it!

Royals Pains is over for the season, and 10 Things airs its final episode next Tuesday. And while I’m sad to see them go, it’s kind of like saying goodbye to the carnival. It was fun while it lasted and you hope to see it again, but until then you might just have better things to do.

Now if you’ll excuse me, I’m sure I have a pantry to organize. Or something.

Not-so-skinny dipping.

Awww, look at those chips. So bare, so naked, so in need of a good dip.

It was pretty much unanimous yesterday: blogging about healthy stuff is good.

I believe I’ll start next week.

Today, on the other hand, I want to talk about dips. I suppose healthy dips do exist. I’ve heard rumors of something called hummus. But for me, dips are heavy, creamy, cheesy things that give chips and crackers a reason to live.

Now, there are categories of dips. My favorite, you might be surprised to learn, is not the fruit dip or even the sweet dip. Now, I enjoy the fluffy cinnamony apple dip, and the cheese ball covered in chocolate chips served with graham crackers is delicious.

But – hold on tight, because this will be a shocker – I am most fond of the cheese dips.

You know I love me some espinaca from “my” restaurant, Jose Peppers. But I also love regular old chile con queso, spinach and artichoke dip (“spin dip,” for those of you in the know), my cousin’s Mexidip and some concoction my friend Teresa makes with chipped beef and cheese (I know how that sounds, but I’m telling you I could eat an entire bowl).

I don’t only eat cheesy dips, though. I mean, I don’t mind veggie dip. It’s actually the only way I can eat carrots, the hateful veggie. (Hateful because they don’t taste good.) Normally I eat ranch-type dip with veggies, but sometimes I branch out to dill dip. Mmmm…you know what’s good with that dilly dip? Bread. Bread is good with dill dip.

And then there are the foods that aren’t technically dips but are good enough for an honorable mention. I’m talking about crab rangoon here. Or a block of cream cheese, covered with jalapeno jelly and served with Wheat Thins.

Could there be an appetizer easier than that?

Velveeta and salsa (or Ro-tel) is a pretty close second, I suppose, when it comes to easy. And I have been known to have some of that. For dinner. Or a snack. Of course, just for a snack.

Dips are a wondrous thing. They can be hot or cold, spicy or sweet, cheesy or bad – they can be anything you want! And in honor of this magical food group, BooMama is holding a dip carnival today – a Diptacular, if you will. (Oh yes, yes I will.) So if you’re looking for a dip recipe or if you’d like to link up one of your own, head over there and tell her I sent you.

You don’t really have to tell her that. But you totally could. I wouldn’t mind.

But I'm on my feet four hours a day, three days a week!

What's that? You thought that because I watched the GLEE premiere the first time around that I wouldn't watch it again last night?

Wrong!

I couldn't do much more than that. After all, I did walk an entire mile last night. Oh, I didn't tell you? That's right - I've started exercising. Again.

And next week, I'll be joining Weight Watchers. Again.

I'd love nothing more than to never say those words again. So I'm thinking about starting some sort of weekly fitness / weight loss / dieting / accountability THING on this blog.

What do you all think? Would you be interested in something like that? Would you be bored by that? Annoyed? Excited? Love it so much you want to marry it?

Let me know.

Until then, I'll be stretching my legs. When you're used to an exercise routine that consists only of lifting a gallon of milk out of the fridge and shuffling down the hall behind a slowly walking baby girl, a short mile feels like a 5K.

Someday . . .

Someday, little girl, you won't want to hold our hands anymore. We'll have to grab you before crossing the street or walking across the parking lot; we'll have to holler, "Wait for me!"

Someday, sweet baby, you will be so adept at walking that it would not occur to you to drop to your knees and crawl. We'll have to run after you and shout, "Slow down! Be careful!"

Someday you won't need us nearly as much as you do now.

We won't have to serve ketchup with every meal and change diapers and run bubble baths and pick up toys and walk slowly and put socks on your feet and cook chicken nuggets.

And we won't get to hear, "Mommy! Help! Buckle me! Milk! Walk, walk, walk, walk! Daddy! Do that! Toys! Out! Up!"

Someday you won't want to hold our hands. Someday . . . but today, I'm glad you still want us to hold your hand and help you walk.

Movie Reviews - a bunch of 'em

I really don’t see a whole lot of movies. Now Smitty – she’s the movie buff. And I never fail to shock her by my lack of movie experience.

Like when she makes a reference to a classic – say, Goonies or Pulp Fiction or Casablanca – and I hang my head and say, “Ummm . . . yeah . . . I haven’t seen that one either.”

And it happens. A lot.

I don’t know why I feel the need to say all that. I’m sure when you see the quality of movies I’m about to review, you’ll realize – without my over explaining and rambling – that I’m not really a movie expert.

And because I haven’t put off my actual list long enough, I also feel compelled to tell you that at one point I thought I’d be real clever and give you a Twitter-esque movie review. You know, writing a review in 140 characters or less?

But then I remembered how much I like to talk. With lots of characters.

[However, if you’d like to mock me watch as I attempt brevity and some level of hip-ness, please follow me on Twitter. I’m @givingupperfect.]

Now, the moment you’ve all been waiting for. I present to you The Last 10 Movies I’ve Watched and my not-so-expert opinion on each one:

1. The Proposal – Mark and I watched this movie on vacation, and I loved it. Starring Sandra Bullock (who I love) and Ryan Reynolds (who I like more every time I see him in something), it’s a clichéd chick flick about the uptight woman who needs a guy to help her loosen up and enjoy life. But I loved the transformation of Reynolds’ character from beaten down yes-man who hates his job to a guy who could stand firm, speak up and finally take charge of his life. Watching him begin to open up and be himself was inspiring to me, as I currently have a job where I’m not myself at all.

So yes, I may have gotten a little too deep with this light-hearted movie. But what can I say? It got to me. And it made me laugh out loud a lot. And if you haven’t seen it, you should.

2. Paul Blart: Mall Cop – Yes, I paid money to see this movie. But honestly, it was a cute movie. As the Philadelphia Inquirer so eloquently put it: “The film is completely forgettable, frequently funny and weirdly satisfying in a Jersey Loser Gets Respect kind of way.” And for me, it was nice to enjoy Kevin James in a Hitch sort of way (bumbling, sweet and still pretty funny), as opposed to his stand-up comedy routine sort of way (loud and obnoxious and not all that funny).

3. Miss Pettigrew Lives for a Day – I’m not sure I really got this movie. It was fun to look at and fun in a light, fluffy sort of way. Plus it had Amy Adams and that guy from Pushing Daisies, which I liked. But it was pretty slow. Mark especially didn’t like it. So, while USA Today called it a good farce, engrossing and cheeky, I can’t quite give this one two thumbs up.

4. Transformers – I am talking about the first one here. I realize most of you saw this a good two years ago, but I didn’t. And I don’t know who I think I am, but when I saw that the second movie was coming out, I was just sure I’d go see it. So, of course, I needed to watch the original first. I thought it was a lot of fun! The more cartoony stuff was silly, but if you take it for what it is, it’s a fun, fast-paced movie. About robots that turn into cars.

5. The International – This movie starred Clive Owen and Naomi Watts, and it’s rated R. I only mention that because we don’t watch a lot of R-rated movies, mainly because I’m opposed to graphic anything. So I read a couple reviews of this movie, trying to figure out why the international spy story needed an R rating. Supposedly, the movie has one extended scene of graphic violence. But I didn’t see it. Not because I watched with my hands over my eyes, Grey’s Anatomy-style, but because we were so bored by this movie that we turned it off after about an hour. The end.

6. The Ugly Truth – And speaking of rated R movies. Smitty is in celebrity love with Gerard Butler, so seeing this was a must. Don’t get me wrong; I don’t turn down a chance to watch a romantic comedy, so it’s not like this was purely selfless on my part. The Ugly Truth wasn’t the best movie, though. It was funny, and had an interesting/annoying idea about what men and women want from relationships. To summarize, if you don’t mind locker-room talk and a possibly disturbing philosophy of romantic relationships, then you might like this movie. Me? I found it funny and fairly entertaining, although I was shocked to end up liking the chauvinistic male lead better than the romantic female character. Weird, huh?

7. 17 Again – Cute movie, reminiscent of Big and Back to the Future. I did have to look up Zac Efron’s birthday, though, to determine just how icky it was. Turns out he’s almost 22, so I guess it’s okay if his future wife – as in, 20 years future – has the hots for him. Right? I don’t know. Just don’t go there and enjoy the fluff.

8. My Fake Fiance – I realize this may be stretching it in the movie department. But this ABC Family movie (starring Sabrina the teenaged witch and Whoa! Joey) has been on my to-watch list ever since I saw a commercial for it four months ago. Because I like ABC Family movies. There. I said it. Anyway, I missed the movie when it originally aired and still have not joined the rest of civilization with DVR, so I’ve been keeping an eye on the TV listings for when it aired again. I finally caught it a couple weeks ago, and it was a typical ABC Family movie. Which is to say it was cute, kinda funny, pretty predictable and slightly more contemporary than a Hallmark movie.

9. Honey – Because we have entered that late-summer vacuum of TV programming, I stumbled onto this one last week. Honey – yes, with Jessica Alba; yes, from 2003 – was yet another dance movie. Not to be confused with Another Teen Movie. Because I’m pretty sure Alba’s character was supposed to be 22. No matter, because it was cute, sappy and predictable – exactly how I like my dance movies.

10. Duplicity – Finally! No, I don’t mean that I’m finally at #10. Although that’s a good thing, too. No, I mean we finally got to see this movie. Mark and I both thought this spy caper with Julia Roberts and Clive Owen looked good, but we just missed it in the theater. It was worth the wait, though. Not quite as fun as Ocean’s Eleven or as action-packed as The Italian Job, but it was fun, smart and overall good.

Whew! That was a lot of talking. I think we’re both wishing I’d opted for the Twitter version now. So now that I’ve used up my words for the day, you tell me: what’s the best movie you’ve seen this summer?

Oh yes, for more - and, I'm sure, shorter - top 10 posts, visit Top 10 Tuesday at OhAmanda's blog.

The announcement I almost forgot . . .

Congratulations, Kim H.! You're the winner of Holley Gerth's devotional, Rain on Me. (And thanks to Random.org for drawing a random winner.). E-mail me your address, and I'll send it to you!!

Stay tuned for a Top Ten Tuesday post soon . . . I finally watched a 10th movie, and now I have so much to tell you.

An easy and delicious dessert - on a Monday, of all things.

I've actually seen this recipe on two blogs recently. Unfortunately, I can't remember which two blogs. Anyway, it's one that I've made several times and had the opportunity to make this weekend.

And every time? It is deeelicious!

I'm talking about Chocolate Eclair Dessert. It's possible this dish has a fancier name, but that's what I call it. I can't remember where I got the recipe either.

Do you see a pattern here?

Now, I'm going to give you this recipe. It is both easy and tasty. But don't be blaming me if you must immediately run to the store, make it and eat it all at once. Unh-uh. Not my fault! Besides, you can re-start that diet tomorrow, right?

I may have sorta kinda forgotten to take a picture before we dug into it!

Chocolate Eclair Dessert

2 packages graham crackers
2 - 3 oz. packages instant vanilla pudding
3 cups milk
1 - 8 oz. tub of whipped topping
1 - 16 oz. can of chocolate frosting

Mix pudding, milk and whipped topping. Cover the bottom of a 9x13 pan with graham crackers. Pour half of the pudding mixture on top. Layer grahams, then pudding twice. Cover with graham crackers, then pour softened frosting on top. Refrigerate for at least an hour.

Now, there's nothing I can do about the chocolate frosting. (Except lick the spoon. I can do that.) But you can use skim milk, sugar free pudding, low-fat graham crackers and fat-free whipped topping. Making those changes doesn't really affect the taste and it might be enough to help you rationalize that second piece. I know it is for me.

This post will be linked to Mouthwatering Monday, Tasty Tuesday and possibly even Family Recipe Friday. Because if I can't remember who gave me the recipe, then it's completely possible it was a family member. Right?

This dessert is so ridiculously easy. What's your favorite EASY recipe to make?

Five for Friday

1. A family of mosquitoes or some other biting type of bug has moved into my house. I blame last weekend’s unseasonably warm temperatures that caused us to turn off the A/C and open the windows. And the lotsa rain we’ve had this month. Although it doesn’t really matter. The fact is these bugs are apparently here for a long-term visit, and a bug’s gotta eat, ya know?

2. Annalyn went cuh-razy with the walking last night! My parents were here (for what they call “Baby Night”), and that kiddo just walked herself all over the house. I was relieved, because we’ve been practicing her walking – even with the ears – mainly in her bedroom. And I was starting to worry that she would only be able to walk in there (on carpet, as opposed to the hardwoods in the rest of the house). Turns out I didn’t need to worry about that. Nope, but I might need to start worrying about her reaching sharp objects, running away from me and locking herself in the bathroom. This is what we’ve been waiting for, right?

3. As part of a whole social media plan (very exciting!) at work, I am helping create a new blog for my company. And by “create,” I am talking choosing graphics, picking out colors and writing [shudder] code. My manager and I both have a rudimentary understanding of blog design. But since our IT guy does not know how to or want to (we’re not quite sure which one it is) design a company blog, we’re pretty much on our own. Sure, Google is there for me, always willing to listen and offer some advice. But my goodness, it takes me forever and a day, plus fourteen rounds of trial and error, to make one little change. And it is Giving. Me. A Headache.

4. You all said that you like my movie reviews, and I have to admit: I am way behind! I’ve seen so many movies in the past couple of months and haven’t told you about any of them! So I started making a list earlier this week; I didn’t want you to miss out on any of my opinions, you know. I realized I have nine movies to talk about. And being, um, persnickety like I am, I just can’t handle an odd number like that. Just feels unfinished or something. So, yes, I will be renting a movie tomorrow night, for the express purpose of blogging about it. I’m not sure if that’s amazing dedication . . . or just a little bit sad.

5. And because my last comment would otherwise be, “Does anyone else want to buy Proactiv every time they see the commercials? Or is that just me?” I thought I’d use a Plinky.com prompt. Here’s my deep question for the day: What is your favorite cereal? Mine’s Golden Grahams. Always name brand; never store brand. Yummmm . . .