Huggies is gonna be ALL OVER this blog post.

I have a confession. And you're going to think I'm crazy. But I've got to get this off my chest tell you.

I don't want to potty train Annalyn.

At first I thought it was just because I'm afraid it's going to be difficult. After all, my little sweetheart can be rather, how you say, willful. And even though she loves to talk about pee and poop and potty and panties 24/7, who's to say that reality is going to be as exciting as this idealized world of big girl bodily functions?

And then our schedule is a factor, too. I work full-time and Mark works evenings, so Annalyn spends her days with three different people in two different places. And in a few weeks, we're moving her from an in-home babysitter to a daycare. So we have plenty of complications to deal with here.

But today, someone asked me if my reason for being hesitant to start potty training is that I don't want Annalyn to grow up.

WHAT? No. NO! Of COURSE not! Um, wait . . . Yes, it is.

She's my BABY! And babies wear DIAPERS! They NEED their mamas! And I know I should be anxious to put these days behind me, ready to put that money to better use, all about leaving the diaper bag and wipes at home.

But I'm not.

It's going too fast! She used to be so tiny, so quiet, so BABY. And now? Now she's a walking (yay!), talking little person. She's a chicken nugget eating, princess loving, slipper and monkey jammies wearing, movie watching, silly song singing girl.

Where did this baby go? And what's so wrong with diapers, anyway?

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Short week, long to-do list

I leave for Nashville early on Thursday morning. If I'd been more on top of things, I would have used this past weekend to get caught up ahead on laundry, grocery-buying, etc.

You can probably guess that I didn't.

I did, however, have some sort of stomach bug, so that's something. And now that Annalyn is in bed, I've found the living room floor again, so that's good.

But I am SO far from ready to go on a four-day trip! The next three days are going to be crazy. Getting ready is definitely do-able, but it's going to be a stretch.

How do you do it? When you travel out of town, do you have a routine? Are you a packing list type person (guilty.) or a throw-it-in-the-bag-and-go person? Plan for weeks or scramble at the last minute? And does anyone have a truly sanitary way to store a toothbrush?

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A little more fun.

Last Friday we ate dinner at our friends’ house. After a delicious dinner and a too-short visit with Amy and Jeremy, I bundled Annalyn up and we climbed into the car. As I put the car into reverse, I looked down the dark street and saw headlights. I stopped, waiting to see if the car was moving. It wasn’t. So I backed out of our friends’ driveway.

And into a truck.

Did I mention the street was dark? That made it hard to see the small black truck parked across the street, even though it was RIGHT ACROSS THE STREET.

It took me a second or so before I realized what that CRUNCH was. But once I did, I immediately did two things. One, I slammed on the brakes and two, I covered up my initial reaction by saying repeatedly, “Darn it! Darn it! Darn it!”

Seriously. At our house, we spell out words like “dumb” and “jerk,” and I have gotten on to my father-in-law and brother-in-law more than once about their language. And yet, what flew out of my mouth when I smashed into a camouflaged truck last Friday night?

You guessed it. Not "darn it."

Anyway, I backed right into that darned truck. So I pulled back into my friends’ driveway, jumped out and hollered up to their front door, “I just backed into a car!”

Sometimes it’s helpful to point out the obvious.

My friend came out, which was good, because I was pretty much just standing beside my car, unsure of what to do next. I know, it seems so obvious. Everyone knows what to do in case of an accident, right? But I was a little stunned for that minute. Okay?

While I was gathering my senses – or SOMETHING – my friend said, “Do you want me to take Annalyn inside?”

I said, sure, and she didn’t argue, either. Not surprising, since she’d thrown a royal fit about leaving in the first place.

My friend, Amy, took Annalyn back inside the house while Jeremy walked around both cars with his flashlight and camera. It turns out the truck belonged to someone visiting their neighbor, and long story short (HA!), I ended up having to leave a note.

So, about 20 minutes later than I intended, I put Annalyn back in her car seat and hit the road. Carefully. I hit the road and just a road. I promise.

And as I did? Annalyn recounted our whole adventure, over and over: “Mommy hit car. Darn it! Bonk car. Fix car? Who fix car? Back inside. Go back Amy’s house. For a little more fun.”

Yep, that’s exactly it, kiddo. We just hadn’t had quite enough fun.

Have you ever been in a car accident?

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We are [still] the world.

“We Are the World” was recorded 25 years ago today, and I've heard that it will be re-recorded this year to benefit Haiti.

A few interesting tidbits about “We Are the World,” courtesy of Wikipedia, of course:

• It was the fastest-selling American pop single in history, as well as the first-ever single to be certified multi-platinum.
• The song earned three Grammy Awards, an American Music Award and a People’s Choice Award.
• And most impressive, as of 2009, it had sold more than 20 million units and raised more than $63 million for humanitarian aid in Africa and the U.S.

[Subscribers, if you can’t see this in your reader, click here for the video.]

It can be argued that the song is completely cheesy and only put a bandage over the gaping wounds of our world. It can be said that the lyrics are pandering and the melody is simple. But today, some of those lyrics are still poignant:

• There comes a time when we hear a certain call when the world must come together as one. 
• There are people dying, and its time to lend a hand to life.
• We can’t go on pretending day by day that someone, somewhere will soon make a change.
• We are all a part of God’s great big family.
• Let us realize that a change can only come when we stand together as one.
• We are the world, we are the children. We are the ones who make a brighter day, so let’s start giving.

Do you remember when this song came out? I don't, really. Obviously I've heard it a million times in the past 25 years (give or take a few thousand), but I don't remember the impact its debut had. And now, with celebrities pulling together on a fairly regular basis, from Farm AID to 9/11 concerts to last week's Haiti benefit, it's almost something I've come to expect. What do you think about celebrities working together on special compassion or aid projects?

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We all have pain; we all have sorrow.

A positive outlook does not run in my family.

Depression, on the other hand, does. The bad, serious kind. The kind that comes with substance abuse and suicide and therapy and medication.

The genes and chemistry that cause that sort of thing? The ones several members of my family have? Those are the same genes I've got. And while I don't battle the kind of depression many people I love do, sometimes I get a glimpse into that struggle.

And when that happens, I can’t always keep it under control. It’s kind of like holding a beach ball underwater. Once it starts slipping out of your grip, you know it’s just a matter of time before that piece of slick plastic explodes through the water and lands just out of reach on the side of the pool.

That’s what happened last week.

I’m better now. It took a few days, sure. And about an entire box of Kleenex, my husband’s patience and several Advil. (See: therapy and medication.) But I’m back.

I won’t say “back to normal,” because, really? Yeah.

And now that I’m back, listening to the Flight of the Conchords sing/talk French nonsense and looking forward to an extra-large bowl of Golden Grahams and my NCIS fix, I want to say thank you.

When you read my post last week, it may not have made sense. I know it was a little vague. And coupled with a random music question. All of that may not seem risky to you, or vulnerable. But for me? It was a big risk.

I wasn’t sure what you all would say. Or if anyone would say anything at all. Nothing like baring your soul, even if vaguely, just to hear crickets.

[By the way, I saw someone make a whistling noise last week that sounded like crickets. I wish I could do that. I can’t remember who did it. Was it you? Please tell me. And then teach me how to do it.]

Anyway, thank you all for your encouraging comments and e-mails and chocolate (that one was Smitty) and dinner and hugs. Thank you.

This one’s for you:



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A Valentine's Day Date Night

One of my goals for the year is to have a monthly date with Mark. January’s almost over, and we’re not off to a good start. But next month is February, and we’d really be in trouble if we couldn’t even figure out a way to celebrate Valentine’s Day.

[Yes, cynics, I know it’s a fabricated holiday that only benefits card makers and chocolate bakers. But I’m a girl, and I like it. Got it?]

It should come as no surprise that Hollywood is offering up several options for a movie date night. (Including one called “Date Night,” strangely enough.) But after being so disappointed at the lack of movie options for my birthday, I’m still excited to have so many to choose from! Here are my (yes, predictable) favorites so far:

• Date Night
• Dear John
• Leap Year
• Valentine’s Day
• When in Rome

What about you? Do you have plans to see a movie anytime soon? Do any of these look good to you?

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But what did Peter Piper DO after picking those peppers?

I thought about naming this post, “I made up a recipe and it was actually good.” But that didn’t seem very uplifting. I also considered calling it, “But isn’t garlic good for you?” Then I remembered the vampire craze that just will not die down (kind of like a vampire, I guess), and I decided against that, too.

It's too bad I can't get someone to write titles for me. Short, pithy anything just isn't my style.

Anyway.  

It all started last week when Annalyn and I went to the grocery store. Not the Super Walmart, where we get most our groceries, but the smaller and more expensive grocery store that’s conveniently on our way home. The one with the reasonable parking lot and the cute mini shopping carts that I could use if only I ever ventured to the grocery store sans kiddo.

As we walked through the produce section, I decided to take a minute and point out the varied brightly colored fruits and vegetables to Annalyn.

And then we saw them: big, beautiful, spot-free red peppers. I had to have them. Two of them, to be exact. Two enormous red peppers that put the puny one already residing my fridge to veggie shame.

I didn’t immediately think, “Oh, I’d better find a way to use these peppers!” After all, we both like peppers of any shape and color in fajitas and quesadillas, and Annalyn loves raw peppers to snack on.

But then, a few days later, I found a partial box of bowtie pasta in the pantry. And the wheels started turning.

I decided I would make a chicken pasta dish with red peppers. I just needed a recipe.

Easier said than done! I searched all over the vast cookbook known as The Internet. And I could not find what I wanted.

Not exactly what I wanted, that is. I found recipes for chicken dishes, recipes for all sorts of carbonara (with spaghetti or linguine), recipes for cold pasta salads and recipes for fancy, 28-ingredient triumphs. But I did not find a simple recipe for a chicken, red pepper and bowtie pasta dish.

So I made my own recipe. I didn’t completely disregard the many wrong recipes I found, though. I kept their quantities in mind when I threw together crafted my own dish. And, if I say so myself, it turned out pretty well!

Mary’s Garlic Chicken Pasta with Red Peppers
2 large chicken breasts, grilled and thinly sliced
1 box bowtie (farfalle, if you’re fancy) pasta
1 large red pepper, sliced
½ pound bacon, cut into inch-sized pieces
3 garlic cloves, diced
½ large white onion, diced
1 jar alfredo sauce
Shredded parmesan cheese

[Side note: You may have caught on when you saw the word “bacon,” but I’ll tell you right now: This meal is not diet-friendly. Or Weight Watchers-approved. I’m pretty sure I could make a healthier version, but on this first round, I definitely did not.]

Boil the pasta (feel free to do it in the microwave like I did, if all your large pots happen to be dirty). Rinse and drain.

Fry the bacon on low to medium heat, stirring often. When the bacon is cooked through, put it in a bowl and set aside. Drain most – but, I’m sorry, not all – the drippings.

Add the onion and garlic to the drippings and sauté. It will smell ridiculous. As in, good. Once the onion and garlic are translucent, add the peppers and chicken.

You may have to add some chicken stock (or, water, if you’re like me and have never bought something so fancy as “chicken stock”) if it’s cooked down, otherwise everything will burn. And then it will smell ridiculous. As in, bad.

Combine chicken and vegetable mixture, pasta and sauce. Add the bacon.

Now, at this point, I put it all in the refrigerator and Mark took it out to re-warm about 13 hours later. I think this helped smush all the flavors together, and yes, that’s my technical term. Before serving, top with shredded parmesan. Enjoy with a nice Caesar salad and cheesy garlic bread.

Have you made any recipes that “actually” turned out well?

This post will be linked to Mouthwatering Monday, Tasty Tuesday, Tuesdays at the Table and Tempt My Tummy Tuesday.

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A Woman Inspired ticket winner

Thanks to everyone who entered to win a ticket to A Woman Inspired's online conference about organization and creativity. Random.org picked #1, which was Hillary @ The Other Mama!

If you'd still like to check out this online conference, tickets are very reasonable. You can register here!

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Random Readings, 1.23.10

You all, I am FRIED. My bad mood just got worse and worse today. My morning started with Annalyn waking up an hour early, then moved quickly into news that a client had blasted me for a small mistake that I’d already apologized for and offered to fix by emailing my bosses about it. And then I ended the evening by backing into a truck when leaving my friends’ house after what had been an otherwise lovely visit.

So. These links are about as random as can be, and I don’t even think I can offer you much explanation. Please just know I’ve been collecting them all week, and for various reasons, I think you need to know about each and every item. Enjoy.

• Shelly began a series about intentional parenting, and I can’t wait to read her insights. She’s a wise lady who is raising teenaged girls, and since I know I’ll be there sooner than I think, I am trying to soak up as much of her knowledge as I can!
• Have I mentioned I love Chuck, the TV show? Yeah, just a few million times. Well, it turns out that the actor who plays Chuck is a Christian. I love that.
• Matthew Paul Turner, an author, blogger and husband of a fellow (in)courage writer, spent the last week in Uganda with World Vision. Read about his journey in Uganda Week.
• Shaun Groves is amazing. The work he does – and the passion with which he does it – for Compassion blows me away. And he’s doing it again, bigger than ever. Stay tuned for more info about the benefit he’s planning for Haiti.
• What do you do when you see homeless people? I always feel weird and end up doing . . . nothing. Jenn has a great solution and detailed instructions: Keep care packages for homeless people in your car, including items like toothbrushes, hand warmers, water bottle and more.
• Did you read the Babysitters Club books back in the day? Apparently, they’ve been out of print for a while, but they’re coming back and there’s a prequel. I might have to read that!
• If you’re a blogger and you’re not reading Savvy Blogging, check it out now. These ladies are offering up honest, realistic and so very relevant advice, and everyone who wants to improve their blog should be reading every word. I know I am. 
• And I'm over at (in)courage today, talking about a time (not the only time, believe you me) I got in trouble for rolling my eyes. You don't want to miss this one.
  

That’s all folks. Have a good weekend!

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You don't know how it feels.

I don't think it's a coincidence that today I heard both "You Don't Know How It Feels" by Tom Petty and "But It's Alright" by JJ Jackson (which opens with the line, "You don't know how I feel.").

Because honestly? I don't think anyone knows how I feel right now. My poor mom tried to talk to me tonight and struck out every time she opened her mouth. Because there's not a right answer. There's not a quick fix.

It won't help to tell me to be grateful for my many blessings. It won't help to encourage me to share my feelings honestly. And please, for the love of all pity parties, don't recite Bible verses that I have memorized, too.

Because you don't know how I feel. You don't know how it feels to be me.

(Although I realize you might be picking up on the fact that right now, I'm feeling a tad grumpy.)

I was disappointed today. Big time. I pursued an opportunity, and it didn't work out. I'm not even that upset about the specific opportunity; I'd already figured out that it wasn't the best thing for me. I'm just thoroughly discouraged about my entire life.

That's not really better, is it?

My mom even said, "This isn't the life I wanted for you either."

Ah! She wasn't being mean or critical; she was just acknowledging some of how I feel. I think. I don't even really know how I feel.

I do know that I have a good life. I know God is in control. I know the people of Haiti have it way worse, and I should shut up. I know. But knowing isn't helping. Nothing is helping right now.

By the time this posts, I'll probably feel better. Or maybe not. Maybe it will take a road trip and day of family chaos fun to cheer me up. Maybe the sun will show its face after a thousand years, and that will help.

You know - the sun will come out tomorrow, so don't worry, little Annie? Yeah, maybe that will do the trick.

I don't know. You don't know. And that's where I'm at today.

I think I'll go listen to some more Tom Petty and consider one of life's great questions: Why does this straight-laced, goody-two-shoes girl love druggie music so much?

What kind of music do you listen to when you're feeling discouraged?

(I really wanted to say "feeling bummed out...man..." right there. Mainly because I think I'm funny. Please, don't tell me otherwise. Or at least wait until the sun comes out.)

P.S. I'm linking up to Sarah's carnival at Real Life Blog.

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