It’s a Wonderful (Imperfect) Life

I’ve always been what you might call particular. Or, if you’re so inclined, persnickety. I prefer to say I’m exact or, you know, a fan of things being correct.

Whatever you call it, this characteristic has served me well when it comes to my understanding and use of the English language.

Yes, you know it. I’m one of those. I’m a card-carrying member of The Grammar Police. I’m a spelling bee lover. I’m a nerd.

That’s why becoming a professional proofreader was just about the most sensible job change I’ve ever made. (And let me just remind you I have made more than a few job changes in my life.)

So it’s a bit ironic that it was at this very job that I discovered what has become my favorite quote:

The thing that is really hard, and really amazing,
is giving up on being perfect
and beginning the work of becoming yourself.

What? But my job is based on being perfect! If I’m not perfect, then we’re all in trouble!

Um, no. Not really. It turns out that missing a typo on an ad for dog food does not, in fact, cause the world to stop turning.

Allegedly Apparently, nobody really expects me to be perfect.

What a relief! And, honestly, what a struggle. It’s hard for me to accept less than the best, even from – no, especially from – myself. It turns out I’m not alone in this struggle.

Joan C. Webb, a recovering workaholic and perfectionist, has written several books on this very topic, including her newest, It’s a Wonderful (Imperfect) Life. This devotional is a collection of daily reminders that God wants and longs to relieve women from living in a continually overwhelmed state. By reducing our unrealistic expectations, we can find the difference between “trying too hard to make it all just right” (mental chase for flawlessness, which is impossible) and “partnering with God for excellence” (enjoying quality in balance, which is not only possible, but reasonable).

Today, I have the opportunity to share with you one of the devotions from Joan’s book.

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Mark of a Perfect Perfectionist

To all perfection I see a limit. – Psalm 119:96

For months I meticulously planned for a state-wide writing seminar. I wrote confirmation letters, signed contracts, made phones calls and took notes. Schedules and menus were verified, deposits made, and attendance counts submitted.

I arrived at the hall on the designated morning to discover the speaker and board members standing on the sidewalk in the cold. All doors were locked. A security guard drove by, felt sorry for us and let us in. Once inside, we found no podium, microphone or breakfast setup. I made some phone calls and a half an hour later learned that the mix-up was due to someone's faulty alarm clock. He would take a shower, get dressed and come set-up for us. Obviously, this would happen past our starting time.

We had no control over these circumstances, but we had a choice: We could ignore reality (remember, that’s the mark of a perfect perfectionist!) and force through our perfectly planned agenda, consequently experiencing mounting stress, or we could smile, be flexible and bypass the frustration.

We chose to laugh and start the seminar late. The situation confirmed to me again that trying to be a perfect person in an imperfect world is impossible. It also showed me something else: I can change. And that’s no small miracle! Thank you, Lord.

Lord, there are obvious limits to all my perfect planning.
Help me learn to be flexible and adjust to changing circumstances.

Make It Personal: What happened to you this week that you had absolutely no control over? What did you like or not like about how you handled it?

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This post is part of a blog tour traveling the Internet over the next several days. The next devotional will be posted on A Future Pastor’s Wife on Monday, and you can see all the posts on Joan’s site.

How do you deal with less-than-perfect situations you have no control over?

Delicious dives

Early on yesterday, I had an idea for today’s post. But when I sat down to write it last night, I couldn’t remember what it was for the life of me. So, as I do in these instances, I turned to Plinky.com.

And what did Plinky ask? Name the worst-looking place to get the best food.

Awww, yeah. Done and done.

Anyone from Kansas City already knows the answer to this one, but for the rest of you, please allow me to introduce you to . . .

[That’s right. Insert an unnecessary drumroll here.]

Oklahoma Joe’s BBQ!

Named by Anthony Bourdain as one of the 13 Places to Eat Before You Die, Oklahoma Joe’s is located inside a gas station.

I’m not talking a Quik Trip, either. No bright lights. No clean, wide aisles. No “Safe Place” sign outside. Nope, it’s an old corner gas station in every since of the word.

And it has the best BBQ in the city.

A month or so ago, Mark decided he wanted to eat lunch there on a Saturday. So we headed south, drove through downtown, pulled into the last open parking spot and took our place in line. The line that wound its way around the gas station and through the door.

Annalyn was not happy to wait patiently – as usual – but we finally made it to the front of the line. Poor kid. She was even less happy to discover that the food we’d been waiting for was not, in fact, chicken nuggets.

But Mark and I were in BBQ Heaven. It was deeelish.

What’s the worst-looking place you’ve found good food?

Image by Marshall Astor (Because I left my camera in the car the last time we ate there!)

Thankful Thursday: sometimes plans change

Image from The Legacy Builder

I had a list of things that I’m thankful for. I’ve been writing down little and big things over the past week, and I just pulled that list up to put into a little post. A funny post. Because that’s what I do, right?

But you know what? I am sitting here, watching a live chat with the Compassion bloggers in El Salvador. And they are talking about the devastating and heartbreaking poverty they have witnessed this week, and they’re telling stories about children who have saved every letter they ever received from their sponsor, and I’m bawling.

You know what Shaun (Groves) just said? He said that the number of obese people in the world and the number of people who don’t eat every day is approximately the same. So, his point was, God clearly has made enough to go around.

I don’t know how to live with that information.

So as I look at my list of what I’m thankful for, it seems pretty small. And not really that funny after all. So this week, I’m going to kick it serious style and tell you what I pray with Annalyn every night before she goes to bed.

“Dear God, thank you for this day. Thank you for a house to live in and food to eat. Please keep Daddy safe at work and bring him home to us tonight, and please help Annalyn sleep through the night. In Jesus’ name, Amen.”

Each night has a variation on this theme – sometimes we pray for her babysitter and her friends, sometimes we pray for family prayer requests (like job changes or health), sometimes we pray for Elmo – but we always thank God for our house and our food.

After reading and hearing about the children of El Salvador tonight, I’m even more thankful.

But don’t get me wrong. It’s okay to be thankful for other things! Next week, I will most definitely be telling you all about the department store coupon I got in the mail and the exciting surprise I got at the Target checkout. And don’t even get me started on the blessings I’ve received lately from blogging. Stay tuned for all of that.

Tonight, though, I’m thankful for a house to live in and food to eat.

What are you thankful for this week? Leave a comment or link up a post. Or both! Yeah yeah, do both!

Giving up on a perfect Thanksgiving - button

Here's the button! If you'd like to put it on your blog or in your post next Friday, please do.

Compassion, Twitter and a Thanksgiving Carnival

Have you been reading the Compassion Bloggers about their trip to El Salvador? If you’re still wondering if Compassion could really make a difference in a child’s life for just $38 a month, watch this video. It’s long, so follow these directions (courtesy of Bryan Allain):

1. Press play to start the video streaming and then pause it.
2. Come back a minute later and start playing the video at the 3:45 mark.
3. Watch the video for the next 6 minutes and let your heart be moved.

Catalyst 2009 Compassion Moment from Catalyst on Vimeo.

You can sponsor a child today. Also, we're all invited to a live video chat from El Salvador with the Compassion Bloggers TONIGHT, (Wednesday, November 11) at 9 p.m. CST at http://www.livestream.com/compassion.

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On a lighter, way less important note, have you seen the commercials for Windows 7? The ones where people are saying that the new system was their idea? I love the way, in their memory, each person looks much more attractive than they do in real life. Because, come on, who doesn’t do that?

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Do you get this Twitter thing?

For the past 18 months, I’ve been blogging and using Facebook and Twitter. I’ve also been researching social media for my job, reading so many articles and how-to guides that at one point this past summer, my brain really felt like it might explode.

In that year and a half, I’ve read how-to manuals, to-do lists, top 10 mistakes you’re making, top 20 things you must do if you don’t want to look like a jerk, top 4,000 you need to follow on Twitter and more. I’ve read helpful articles, boring articles, funny articles and redundant articles.

But the most helpful thing I’ve read lately? Allison Worthington’s e-book, Smart Girls’ Guide to Twitter. It’s thorough and easy to read, and written in Alli’s “girlfriend speak” instead of “techie speak.” Allison is the founder of Blissfully Domestic, she blogs at Mrs. Fussypants and is a self-proclaimed Twitter-aholic. Her book is 140 pages long (would you expect anything less?) and costs $19.95. Click here for more details. (Disclosure: If you order the book from this link, I will earn a commission.)

I won’t say that I’m an expert on Twitter now. Um, no. (You can follow me @givingupperfect and see for yourself.) But I’m learning, and this book has made it a lot easier to sort through all the info clutter and figure out some simple steps to get better.

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Well, that was absurd, let's eat dead bird!*

Last but not least, it’s time for another Giving Up on Perfect carnival! Next Friday (November 20), we’ll be Giving Up on a Perfect Thanksgiving. (Stay tuned for a button. I’ll try to get it up later today.)

Have you ever forgotten to thaw out the turkey? Made the pumpkin pie without the most important ingredient: sugar? Had to break up a huge family fight over a football game? Or, how about this: do you have any Thanksgiving traditions in your family? What’s your favorite part of Thanksgiving dinner? And do you get up super early the next day to shop?

I want to know all about your beautifully imperfect Thanksgivings – good, bad, beautiful, ugly and everything in between. Link up your post next Friday. And don’t forget to comment – you don’t want to miss this giveaway!

*Home for the Holidays

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That’s my long list of stuff. What’s up with you today?

The Top Ten Party Snacks I Love to Make

As we head into the entertaining season, I've been thinking about my recipe binder. It's full of delicious recipes, some with beautiful photos and many with just a handful of ingredients (that's my favorite kind). And yet, when it comes down to crunch time, so often I just stick to my tried and true snacks. Here they are:

1. Seven Layer Dip – Let’s count the layers: refried beans, sour cream, guacamole, tomatoes, olives (ick – I only put them on because I’m such a rule/recipe follower!), green onions, and . . . what is the seventh layer? I can never remember without that recipe in front of me!
2. Tortilla Rolls – This is one of my very favorite things to make and to munch on. The problem? Leftovers. Because I eat them. All.
   
3. Rotel Dip – I do it the easy way, with just Velveeta and Rotel (diced tomatoes and chilies to you all who don’t have Rotel). But I know Mark likes the way our friend Mandy makes it better – with ground beef in it. He’s even been known to eat her dip that has black beans thrown in. Perhaps I should branch out next time!
4. Chips and Salsa – This is a variation on #3, I suppose. And maybe the easiest thing to serve ever. But it works.
5. Carrots, Celery & Ranch Dip – I’m always thinking that I should add other veggies, like bell peppers or cherry tomatoes. But you know what? I keep sticking to the traditional ones – because that’s what people always eat!
6. Beer Bread & Dill Dip – Okay, so this isn’t so much a regular dish at my house as, say, M&Ms are. But since I had my Tastefully Simple party and got some beer bread mix, well, it’s hard to resist! (However, as I unfortunately learned over the weekend, avoid the light dill dip. It’s no good and not worth it.)
7. Crescent Roll Appetizers – I’ve never actually made these. But my brother makes them pretty often, and they are Quite. Tasty.
8. Brownies – Do you have a from-scratch recipe? Perhaps one that’s been passed down through the generations or something you got from a fancy-schmancy cookbook? I’d put my straight out of the box fudgy brownies up against yours any day! Because I have a secret, and it works. Oh, it works. My brownies. Are. Delicious.
9. Rice Krispy Treats – Yep, I’m high class. But they’re darned good. So there.
10. Chocolate Chip Cookies – The kind that come in a package from the refrigerated section. The ones you break apart and pop in the oven. Those. I love ‘em. And so do my guests.

So that’s it. It’s not fancy or special or, as I mentioned, high class. But it’s pretty much my repertoire of party snacks.

What do you feed people at parties?

My friend Sandy writes a blog about “real entertaining for real people.” I’m pretty sure my box brownies and plain veggies and store-bought dip work just fine in her book.

Not that I’m in her actual book.

Oh, that’s right. She just wrote a book! If you entertain more like me than Martha, check out The Reluctant Entertainer: Every Woman's Guide to Simple and Gracious Hospitality by Sandy Coughlin. And you can check out my guest post at her blog, Reluctant Entertainer, today!

This post will be linked to OhAmanda’s Top Ten Tuesday.

Good times.

I neglected my computer over the weekend, and it kind of felt good.

It turns out that when I turn off the computer, I have a lot more time for baking and laundry and stacking blocks and laundry and running errands and laundry.

Seriously – how do three people generate so much laundry?

We had a good weekend. I rented a movie on Friday night. Yes, that’s all I’m saying right now. Just stay tuned for that review. And then somehow, miraculously, Saturday brought a rush of motivation. Do not even ask me where it came from. I don’t question it; I just go with it as long as it lasts.

Mark had planned a poker night for Saturday night, so I made him beer bread and brownies. And I only ate a few of the Doritos I bought for him. “Daddy’s chips,” Annalyn said – over and over. Until I let her eat a handful out of the Cool Ranch bag. Then she didn’t seem to mind that I’d said they belonged to Daddy!

We tried to get flu shots in the afternoon, but that didn’t work out so well. Just like getting Annalyn’s two-year shots earlier in the week didn’t work out. Apparently it was just not our week for shots.

We got to the health department three minutes too late for her regular vaccinations, and all the angry tears and forced calm explanations in the world – I work full-time and this is the earliest I can get here, and oh yeah, our insurance doesn’t cover shots at the pediatrician – didn’t budget the receptionist. And the flu shots? We were looking at a three-hour wait – just minutes before naptime. That didn’t seem like a good idea.

So basically, we’re just crossing our fingers that we don’t get sick for now. I’ll let you know how that works out.

After I helped Mark clean the house (Hey! It was his poker night!), set up his snacks and put the kiddo in bed, I left the boys to their poker and drove to Smitty’s apartment.

Did I mention that in the midst of the cleaning and the laundry and the cooking and the not getting flu shots, we also had a rip-roaring fight? The kind that made my poor, scarred-for-life daughter say, “Mommy sad. Mommy sad.”

[Sigh. Yes, baby, Mommy’s sad. And now she’s even sadder because I’m fighting in front of you. Way to go, Parents of the Year.]

I think she’ll be okay. Mainly because we resolved things well before she woke up on Sunday. You know, because we’re just that mature and loving (ha!). And maybe because my long drive to Smitty’s – and a good time eating dinner and hanging out with my bestest friend – did me some good.

I think I should take a long drive every week. Or at least a couple times a month. Seriously. There’s just something about getting in the car, rolling down the window, cranking up the stereo and speeding (only five miles over, officer, I swear) down the highway. It just makes me happy. Especially on a Saturday night, when I can find fun music on the dial (or the button, as the case may be).

From Kanye West (sorry, Taylor) to Jason Aldean to Van Halen, I was jamming. As in, if there had been a secret camera and that footage was ever shown to anyone on the face of the earth, I would just lay down and die – that kind of jamming.

It was good.

On Sunday we had church and homemade pizza and naps and Bible study. (About marriage and communication – and no, the irony was not lost on us, coming the day after a good, solid fight.)

We didn’t make it to the park, the cats may or may not have peed on the kitchen rug, and Annalyn spent two hours in the middle of the night Sunday hollering and crying and generally keeping me awake.

But it was a good weekend. How was yours?

Compassion Bloggers Trip: El Salvador

UPDATE: I just read that a hurricane hit El Salvador over the weekend, killing 91 people and certainly affecting the Compassion Bloggers trip. Please pray.

On Monday, Compassion is taking four bloggers to El Salvador, where they will witness firsthand the ministry that Compassion International has in the tiny Central American country. You can travel with them through stories, pictures and videos on their blogs.

But wait! Before you click over and subscribe to these blogs, you should know that reading about this trip might just break your heart. It might even change you forever. But if you think you can handle it, head on over to join their journey. I guarantee you will not regret it.

Heather Whittaker (from Whittaker Woman)
Kelly Stamps (from Kelly’s Korner)
Molly Piper (from The Pipers)
Shaun Groves (from, well, himself)

Why are they doing this, anyway? While I don’t know each of their individual reasons, I imagine at least part of the rationale for leaving the comfort of home for the great discomfort of a foreign land and incredible poverty is the same reason I sponsor a child and why many of you do, too.

When you sponsor a child, you are linked with one particular child who will know your name, write to you and treasure the thought that you care. He or she will pray for you often and write to you. Your tax-deductible contribution of just $38 a month connects your child with a loving, church-based child sponsorship program that provides food and clean water, medical care, educational opportunities, life-skills training, and most important of all, your sponsored child will hear about Jesus Christ and be encouraged to develop a lifelong relationship with God.*

Wanna help? Here’s how:

1. Pray.

• To see the names and faces of the bloggers going, visit the Compassion Bloggers Trip page.
  
• Pray for their families they’ll leave behind, their spiritual and physical and mental health/stamina, their ability to take in a lot of information quickly and experience a lot of emotions and find the words to write about it all.

2. Twitter.

• Please send your followers to the trip’s page using this link: http://bit.ly/CBElSalvador
• Tweet any specific posts you’d like to pass along using the hashtag #cbes
• If you ask your followers to sponsor a child, please use this link: http://bit.ly/ESKids

3. Facebook.

• Shaun Groves created a widget for Facebook pages (works on Myspace and blogs too). It displays pictures, videos and posts from our trip as they become available.
• No need to know what the heck a widget is. Just go to http://bit.ly/4euihb and click “Facebook” to add this widget to your Facebook wall.
• Or hit the “share” button above and choose “Facebook” from the options.

Do you sponsor a child with Compassion or any other organization? Would you like to get involved today?

*From Compassion.com.

The holiday usuals

My cousins and I have been exchanging e-mails, figuring out when and where to hold the family holidays this year. I got an e-vite a few days ago from my cousin on the other side of the family: Thanksgiving is officially on the calendar now. My mom told me tonight that she and my dad have been planning menus for all the upcoming holidays.

And so it begins.

Of course, the reason for Thanksgiving and Christmas is not food. But come on, it is a big part of our celebrations. Am I right?

In the past decade, I have hosted a few Thanksgiving and Christmas dinners, even doing the whole turkey thing. And then there was the year we went to Mark’s extended family, where they deep fried a turkey. In the front yard.

But I digress.

Aside from the turkey years, I’ve mostly stuck with side dishes. Mmmm . . . I love side dishes. Mostly the ones that focus on carbs and/or cheese. My “usuals” are green bean casserole, cheesy potatoes, broccoli and rice casserole and baked beans. Well, you know, the baked beans are Mark’s usual.

Kelly is asking for holiday recipes today, so here’s mine for the broccoli casserole.

Broccoli & Rice Casserole

½ stick butter
1 small chopped onion
10 oz. package frozen broccoli
1 can cream of mushroom soup
1 small jar Cheez Whiz
2 cups cooked rice

Saute onion in butter. Add broccoli, soup and cheese. (And yes, it's got to be Cheez Whiz. Don't hate me. Just do it.) Stir in (cooked) rice and pour into 9x13 pan. Bake 30 minutes at 350 degrees.

What are your holiday “usuals”? Will you try anything new this year?

This post will also be linked to Mouthwatering Monday, Tasty Tuesday, Tuesdays at the Table and Tempt My Tummy Tuesday.

Sadly, my new modem is not on this list.

Image from The Legacy Builder

I live in the middle of the country, but my roots are Southern. Want proof? Listen to my daughter talk for any amount of time. I guarantee you'll hear her say, "Thank you" at least three times. If not a hundred.

Because that child of mine? Is thankful.

She says thank you for her milk, thank you for her waffle, thank you for her Elmo, thank you for turning on her movie, thank you for changing her diaper, thank you for helping her up the stairs - you get the picture.

And while it is possible that she's just hooked on this phrase (similar to how she has, on occasion, been hooked on the word, "poop"), I also think it does reflect our family's attitude. Mark and I aren't perfect by any means, but we do work really hard to appreciate each other. Even in the little things.

I chalk it up to those Southern roots.

Last year I posted daily in November, writing about something I'm thankful for. I'm so glad I did that, but woo-eee, it was hard. Never has November been so long! This year I'm going to stick to weekly thanksgiving posts. I'll add a MckLinky, so you can link up your Thankful Thursday posts, too.

I've got to tell you: I'm cranky. I've been on the phone with Time Warner customer service for the last 90 minutes. And despite that hour and a half I cannot get back, a new modem and an exercise in extreme patience when the fifth (FIFTH!) customer service person I was transferred to asked for my phone number AGAIN and then had me reboot the router FOR THE THIRD TIME, my internet connection is still out of whack. I kind of want to yell at someone. So being appreciative of the little things is probably a good idea. Here goes . . .

• Absolute best part of my day on Wednesday was getting my 2010 planner. I'm not just excited to see the blank pages full of possibility - although, I am. But this year's planner came in a Trapper Keeper! Okay, not a Trapper. It does not have a velcro tab or neon colors, but it is a nice, leather portfolio with lots of pockets. It's so soft and pretty, and I want to pet it, George. And, yes, I'm an office supply nerd. That's been established, thank you very much.
• We took Annalyn to get her pictures taken on Sunday. We hadn't gone for professional photos in almost a year, because a) it's so darned expensive and b) our last two experiences were terrible. So I was kind of dreading this, but it needed to be done. Grandparents were getting antsy. And though our photo session went straight into naptime - also known as dangerous territory! - I'm happy to report that thanks to an extremely patient photographer and a highly entertaining photographer's assistant, we bought way too many super cute pictures! Seriously - who needs 64 wallets? It's not like these were her senior pictures! Although . . .
  

Nice pose.

I realize those are two minor things to be thankful for today. But it's what I've got for now. I'm sure I'll think of 27 other things I'm way more thankful for as soon as I hit "publish." Maybe I'll write them down for next week.

What are you thankful for today?