The one thing you should never, ever say.

Yesterday I attended a one-day social media conference. I sat in on a half dozen sessions on topics ranging from social media in general to best practices for YouTube to SEO (search engine optimization). My brain is still full to the point of overflowing with new knowledge and thoughts and ideas and...well, I can't even process it yet. So I'll share something else that I noticed during the presentations.

Four of the speakers said the one thing my speech teacher in college said we should never, ever say: "I know you can't see this, but . . ."

See, my speech teacher - Jay Self, definitely a person I could include in my Noticer Project - said that if you're using a visual aid and you know half your audience can't see it, then it's pointless!

He drilled that into us like nothing else that semester. It was even a bonus question on a pop quiz. That standard for public speaking was so seared into my brain that when I taught speech a few years later, I taught my students the same thing.

And today, despite the information and idea overload I was facing, I couldn't help but notice that the speakers - who were otherwise fantastic - said this forbidden phrase.

Is there something you learned in school that still sticks out? Kind of randomly? And pops up at odd times? Please share . . .

Works for Me Wednesday: Frugal Edition

Today over at We Are THAT Family, Kristen is holding a frugal tips carnival. And all week, I’ve been planning to participate. But as I sat down to write my post, I realized . . . I’m not actually very frugal.

Sometimes I’m cheap. Other times I’m broke. But if I’m honest with myself – and with you – I’m rarely frugal.

So today I’m going to think about how I can be frugal. Other than buying groceries at Walmart and renting movies from Redbox.

Where will I get my ideas, you ask? At Works for Me Wednesday, of course!

What’s your tip for living frugally?

That day, for no particular reason, I decided to go for a little run.

I’ve been thinking lately that I should do an update on my 2009 goals. So here are the short answers:

• Quiet time – not so daily, but I’m still working on it.
• Finances – have paid off some debt and have saved some, too. We’re going to be sidetracked for the next year, thanks to Uncle Sam. But I’m still working toward sticking to our budget and moving forward (instead of backwards!!).
• Quality time with the kiddo – yep. She doesn’t always want to read before bed, but we’re getting in time doing something fun each day.
• Recycling – our trash service doesn’t offer recycling in our neighborhood. I have bought bins and identified nearby drop-off locations. But . . . I have to admit that the bins haven’t been put to use yet.

The long answer, of course, is about my never-ending quest to lose weight. Let’s see . . . where to start?

First, I quit Weight Watchers, because I wasn’t going to meetings and it was really a waste of money. (However, let me state here that the problem was me, not the program! The program definitely works when you follow it!)

Second, I’ve considered various options for exercise, from jazzercise to Curves to water aerobics at my local gym.

I haven’t started any of them.

And then there’s the latest craze being talked about like, well, crazy on the internets: Shred. For about four seconds, I considered trying it out.

Until I remembered the stack of workout tapes and DVDs that already live in my house.

Have I mentioned that we’re now just eight weeks away from a trip to Florida? Where I will, presumably, be forced to don a swimsuit?!

So last night, I set the alarm to get up early. To use one of those workout videos. Which I would have done, had I not hit snooze about six times. Luckily, the day didn’t end there.

After work, Annalyn and I headed to the park for a walk. The weather today was beautiful – about 70 degrees, and no rain. Sure, we’d all like a nice sunny day. But when it’s rained almost every day lately, I take what I can get.

Anyway, I plopped her in the stroller – the regular kind from Walmart, not a fancy jogging stroller, mind you – and headed out. My original plan was to take the trail twice, for a total of one miles.

But something happened on that trail. And it sounded like this, “Do you want Mommy to go fast?”

Yeah. I decided to try running. I’ll tell you some other time about my previous relationship with running. But suffice it to say it’s not been a good one. And it’s been quite a while since we even met, running and me.

I don’t know what came over me. But as Annalyn and I made our way around the slightly hilly half-mile trail, I decided to try running a few yards at a time. Turns out it wasn’t as hard as I would have assumed. Then again, that could be due to the fact that I ran for, literally, a few yards at a time. Three times.

We spent the rest of the time huffing and puffing and wondering why I left my inhaler in the car. Or . . . maybe that was just me.

Annalyn spent the rest of the time playing with her phone and greeting the other walkers and one tiny dog.

See? We do fun stuff together!

** Extra credit to anyone who can name the movie I got the title quote from! **

It's all about the chili.

When I was a kid, we didn’t go out to eat often. That’s partly because we lived in a small town that only opened a Subway and Sonic years after we moved away, and partly because there wasn’t a lot of extra money to go around.

But every once in a while, we’d go out for a special occasion. And more often than not, my family would go to Don Chilito’s, a little Mexican hole in the wall near my grandma and aunt’s houses (but about an hour away from our house).

My earliest memories of that restaurant aren’t about the food, but the décor. In the middle of the main seating area was a column that had three or four tables around it . . . and a huge fish tank on top!

Thinking back, I’m not quite sure why that fish tank was so exciting. But let me tell you, it was.

Later, after the restaurant had changed hands (but never names) once or twice, the fish tank disappeared and I became more interested in the food.

Ah, the food.

First, you should know that this cheap Mexican eatery serves their cheap Mexican food cafeteria style. You stand in line – sometimes all the way out to the double doors, where you can look at the bubble gum machine and wish you had a quarter – until you finally reach the counter. That’s when it’s time to pick up a tray and negotiate with your little brother: who’s going to get the paper napkins and who’s going to get the silverware?

Next, it’s time to order. My dad gets a taco salad. My brother gets a taco burger or tostada or nacho or something else that seems completely random to me. But my mom and me? We’re burrito fans. So we each get a Don’s burrito – beef and bean, chili and shredded cheese on top.

I don’t know why my mom decided that was her dish. But I’m pretty sure I decided it was mine simply because it was hers.

After getting your food, paying and filling up your cup with pop, it’s time to find a table. This is not nearly as exciting since the fish went away.

But before digging in, there’s one last thing you must do when eating at Don Chilito’s: get chips. Between the cash register and the bathrooms is the most glorious of Mexican restaurant finds: the chip bin. It’s a huge bin of tortilla chips, under lights, with two kinds of salsa that taste exactly the same. It’s chip and salsa heaven. [Insert singing angels here.]

And once you eat that burrito and all the chips, you might think the experience is over. But, no. There are still sopaipillas to be eaten. And they can be found . . . you guessed it . . . in the sopaipilla bin.

As I mentioned, my family didn’t have a lot of money for eating out. Plus, this slice of Mexican cuisine was located a solid hour from our house.

So we decided to make Don Chilito’s food at home.

I’ll keep this short: the sopaipillas were a disaster. But the burritos? After a couple tries, we mastered those suckers. Here’s what you do:

Take one large tortilla and spread refried beans in the middle. Then spoon taco meat on the beans and top with shredded lettuce. Roll it up, and cover in chili and shredded cheddar. Nuke it for a minute, and enjoy.

The key? The chili must come from a can. I’m sorry, I hate to say it, but it’s the truth. Don’t bother with your homemade, healthy, three-bean business. Just get the can, skim the grease off the top and pour it out. (Okay, to be honest, we heat ours on the stove first, but I wanted to make sure you get the picture.)

And that’s how you get cheap, greasy Mexican food at home.

Now, before you turn your nose up and assume that such a delicacy would not be good enough for your refined palate, I have to tell you that my family is not the only one who loves this food and this place. After all, despite the handful of owners over the years, Don Chilito’s has remained a staple in downtown Mission, Kansas.

And if you ask around, you’re sure to find more fans. I worked near the restaurant for a while, and several of my co-workers loved it. As did my friend that I met for lunch every couple of months. As do my cousins. Interestingly enough, even though our families both love this restaurant, I didn’t realize we had this in common until just a few years ago. Weird, right?

No, just the nature of the hole in the wall. After all, nobody brags about loving chili from a can.

What’s your favorite way to eat Mexican food? And in a handy coincidence, Rachel is making guacamole over at A Southern Fairytale. So head on over for her recipe and other Mouthwatering Monday tips!

Compassion Bloggers India Trip Review

On Thursday night, I watched a soft rock star cry.

The Compassion Bloggers held a live chat at 10 p.m., which incidentally is supposed to be my bedtime. And after an hour of answering questions and overcoming technical difficulties and laughing and sharing the devastation and hope they’ve seen, Shaun Groves described what the group would be doing that day.

He said they’d meet up with their sponsored children, take them to a museum and to lunch. And then he broke down a little bit when he said that this would be the first time those kids had ever eaten a restaurant meal.

That’s when I lost it.

All week I’ve been teary-eyed, reading blog posts and looking at photos. But watching that man get all choked up over those kids and their lives? Well, I cried so hard that my cat managed to wake up, lift her head and look at me as if to say, “Hello? I’m sleeping here!”

Just in case any of you have not had a chance to read about the trip these bloggers have gone on, here are a few of the most touching posts I’ve read.

Pete Wilson talks about the worst road trip ever. If you click around and read the other bloggers’ perspectives on this day, you might find a photo or two of Pete with two mission trip essentials: a Bible…and toilet paper. You might also find a piece of advice for anyone taking this kind of road trip: wear a sports bra. But you won’t hear that from Pete.

Shaun Groves proves that God is a southerner, bless his heart. And also shares these words:

“I wish there wasn’t a plane ride between your computer screen and the smell of open sewage here in Kolkata. I wish there wasn’t so much distance between you and the mother with empty breasts pleading with God right now for her baby’s life. I’m praying this morning that somehow, supernaturally, God’s Spirit shortens the miles between you and the poor - That somehow as you experience every gift, every morsel of bread God gives you today, you remember your family here in India.”

Spence Smith illustrates exactly how Compassion gives kids around the world hope for a better future.

Anne Jackson powered through some, ahem, digestive issues and wrote this powerful post about her experience. She also had this to say:

“You may never touch the rough hand of a young, hungry child . . . Or see a two week old dying in a crib in an orphanage in Kolkata . . . You may never smell what raw sewer and smoke and smog smell like on a hellishly hot and humid day. But it is my prayer for you that something will break.”

She also wrote about making a new friend named Lakshmi.

Robin Dance explains how Compassion helps not just a child, but an entire family, as she describes one family’s prized possessions.

Melissa Fitzpatrick was blessed by meeting Kiran and visiting her home. Between her honesty and her devastation, this post spoke to my heart. And just about did me in.

Angie Smith admits that she went into this venture a bit cynical. She writes:

“[Shaun] led me to believe that an organization could transform an impoverished community simply by relying on the body of Christ to support the cause. He tricked me into leaving my family, traveling for 20 hours, and riding a rickshaw which will heretofore be referred to as the ‘deathtrap on wheels.’ . . . Well, today we visited the poorest Compassion project we have been to so far, and I began to realize how ridiculous the whole premise of this trip has been. . . . It's absurd, actually.”

And then she goes and proves herself and every naysayer out there flat-out wrong. And shares several beautiful stories of hope and miracles. Just beautiful.

I didn’t know (or read) Patricia Jones before this trip. But based on the letters she’s written while in India, I think I’m going to love her. In one post, she covered Pete’s bowel issues, infant mortality, sweet sleeping babies and nudity. Good stuff.

Keely Scott is the group’s photographer, and her photos capture more than an image. They capture a spirit, a message, an emotion – they get and give it all. You can see her photos on Flickr.

If you would like to help, you can sponsor a child through Compassion today.

Tag! You're it.

Last week, Rochelle tagged me to write a post about 8 Things. I’ve never actually been tagged before, so this was exciting. Really. I'm so easily excited. Anyway, in just a moment, I’ll start my listing (you know how I love lists!).

But first, I want to encourage you, ask you, beg you (!) to come back tomorrow. I know most people check out of the blog world and into real life on the weekends. I do, too, and I think that’s great. But tomorrow, I’m going to share with you some of the most touching posts I’ve read about this week’s Compassion trip to India, and I don’t want you to miss it.

And now . . . (drumroll, if you like) . . . The Lists of 8 Things.

8 things I'm looking forward to:

• Date night with Mark tomorrow. We’re finally using the movie passes I got for my birthday (in December)!
• Finishing Annalyn’s scrapbook in a couple weeks at my monthly crop with my friend, Christelle
• Smitty finishing her teaching program and moving back home
• Going to Columbia for a weekend getaway to celebrate our 10th anniversary
• Starting a new Bible study with our small group (We’re plowing through our current, church-mandated study now – I’ll just say that it’s not what we would have picked!)
• Vacation in Florida this summer
• Seeing Annalyn take her first steps
• Season 5 of So You Think You Can Dance

8 things I did yesterday (also known as Wednesday, because sometimes it takes me two days to finish a post):

• Ate a bagel for breakfast (Not donuts, thankyouverymuch, and that’s my point.)
• Sent several press releases to various newspapers across the country
• Went home for lunch to see Mark and Annalyn
• Talked to the CEO of our company about a new project
• Complained about the rain
• Watched reruns of Will & Grace instead of the President’s address
• Halfheartedly watched the American Idol results show (Why can’t they just say who’s kicked off and let us get on with our night?)
• Read a couple chapters of In a Pit with a Lion on a Snowy Day (Already I can tell, this one is going to be life-changing.)

8 things I wish I could do:

• Lose weight
• Spend more time with Annalyn
• Dance
• Develop my photography skills
• Pay off our debt
• Go on a Compassion bloggers’ trip
• Sell our house
• Move to Nashville

8 TV shows I watch:

• How I Met Your Mother
• Chuck
• Castle
• American Idol
• NCIS
• Bones
• Grey’s Anatomy
• My Boys

And during the summer, I can add So You Think You Can Dance, Burn Notice and Psych. Is it a bad thing that I can come up with more than eight shows I watch but had a hard time thinking of eight things I did yesterday…?

8 bloggers I tagged:

• I’m not going to tag anyone, because I don’t want anyone to feel obligated.
• However, if it makes you feel special, then maybe I should tag you.
• I’ll start with Chelley, Mel, Busy and HM. Then I’ll add Amy, Brenda, Erin and Kimberly.
• And then I’ll feel guilty for not tagging every single one of my readers.
• So I’ll consider deleting this whole list.
• But then I’ll decide that I just want to get this post posted!
• So I’ll ask forgiveness from everyone – those who were tagged and are now annoyed, and those who were not tagged and are now sad.
• Then I’ll say that I think if you want to use this meme on your blog, just go for it, tagged or not!

The end. Please come back tomorrow.

The Noticer Project: some influential folks

The Noticer Project is a worldwide movement to "notice" the five most influential people in your life!

Noticing those five people can be as private (just a letter or email) or as public (posting to your Facebook page or blog) as you choose, but this grassroots movement is meant to encourage us to step outside our busy schedules and avoid waiting until a wedding, graduation or even a funeral to take notice of the special, influential people in our lives.

Not every person that you choose to "notice" has to be an old friend or family member. It might be that you choose to notice a Good Samaritan that changed your life or someone like Abraham Lincoln or Martin Luther King, whose sacrifice made a difference for you many years later. The important thing is that by noticing those who have made a difference for you, you not only acknowledge their contribution, but you may gain a new perspective on your own life.

For me, it’s too hard to decide who have been the most influential in my life. Well, that’s not true. It’s easy to name the top five: Mom, Dad, Mark, James and Rachael. But they’re certainly not the only ones who have made a difference in my life. And to be honest, while they’re the easiest ones to name, they’re probably the most difficult ones to describe in a paragraph or two.

So I’m going to look outside my family for my part of The Noticer Project. I’m going to tell you about five influential people in my life. Not the only influential people. And not necessarily the most and not in any particular order. Just five people who have made a difference in my life.

And by “five people,” of course I actually mean seven.

Amy Kanning was my Sunday school teacher in high school. She taught us, loved us and challenged us. I still remember some of her lessons – squirting toothpaste out of a tube to illustrate how you can’t take words back, making Valentines and holding them up for a Polaroid photo to remind us how much we are loved, and a heartbreaking talk about how sometimes if we don’t say the things we need to say, we won’t get a second chance.

I accepted Christ before high school. But He became real to me during those teenage years, and part of that is thanks to Amy’s teaching.

Dorothy Mullikin was my piano teacher from grade school until high school graduation. She saw in me a talent she deemed special and worth cultivating, and she never gave up on me. Even when I gave up on the piano. Even when I didn’t practice one minute between lessons. Dorothy took me to seminars, prepared me for contests and challenged me to learn more and better and faster.

You know how they say, “Never stop learning”? Well, for a time, I did. I left my days of music behind, burned out and disenchanted. But those things that Dorothy taught me and the love she showed me have never left my mind and heart, even if my fingers are a little rusty.

Brock and Julia were my Freshman Family Group leaders at the Baptist Student Union. They embraced their role as our leaders and mentors, even letting some of our group members jokingly call them “Mom” and “Dad.” I never did; I didn’t need new parents. But I did need them. I needed their knowledge, wisdom, accountability, leadership and so much more. We went through a lot in that group – both good and bad – but I credit making it through my freshman year, heck, my freshman WEEK, to those two juniors who chose to shepherd and love a group of freshmen. I may not have called them Mom and Dad, but they were my family away from home that year and for years afterward.

Carrie was one of my best friends my freshman year of college. She lived down the hall and was in the same university choir I was. She was also a cheerleader and the tiniest, cutest girl ever. She loved the Lord, loved to sing and struggled with figuring out what to be when she grew up. She went to Florida over spring break with some friends instead of going home to see her parents. The week after she got back, though, she drove home to see them. On her way, she was in an accident and died.

Loving and losing a friend like that taught me so much. That people my age could die. That life is short, fleeting, precious. That I shouldn’t blow off a friend just because I was spending time with another friend…the way I did the night before Carrie went home. That I should forgive myself for that. That nothing cements friendships like a tragedy. I miss Carrie. I wish we would have had more time together. But in just a few months, I learned a lot from her. And because of her, I am a different person.

Bob and Barb Archer were the leaders of our Adult Bible Fellowship class at church. And they were the leaders of the church plant that we were a part of following that class. The Archers are a couple that are so blessed and called by God to serve young married couples. They loved us, taught us, challenged us and helped us grow exponentially in our faith. I learned so much from them.

Like I said, these are just a few of the people who have changed me. I love them. I’m thankful for them. And I could never not notice the impact they’ve had on my life.

Who has influenced you?

Wordless Wednesday

I hope you have this kind of good day!

Tuedays Unwrapped: Sweet Baby A

In the past couple of weeks, Annalyn has learned how to be naughty. She's starting grunting and hitting when she gets mad, or when you don't do what she wants. (Or when you have the nerve -the Nerve! - to put your foot on the piano bench while she's playing her masterpiece.) She's decided that spitting is fun, and she's so determined that she won't stop no matter the discipline we hand out. She's even learned every parent's favorite word: NO.

So now, more than ever, I treasure the quiet moments when she's my sweet baby again. Like last night when she actually sat still in my lap and let me read her a bedtime book.

I have a feeling that my feisty girl is going to test the boundaries, the limits, my patience for many years to come. But as long as I have can enjoy those sweet moments, I think we'll make it through.

For more quiet moments and small treasures, visit Chatting at the Sky.

Book Review: The Noticer by Andy Andrews

"Orange Beach, Alabama, is a simple town filled with simple people. But they all have their share of problems – marriages teetering on the brink of divorce, young adults giving up on life, business people on the verge of bankruptcy, and many of the other obstacles that life seems to dish out to the masses.

"Fortunately, when things look the darkest, a mysterious old man named Jones has a miraculous way of showing up. Communicating what he calls “a little perspective,” Jones explains that he has been given a gift of noticing things that others miss. In his simple interactions, Jones speaks to that part in everyone that is yearning to understand why things happen and what they can do about it."

According to the book’s description, The Noticer is “based on a remarkable true story.” It blends fiction, allegory and inspiration to share several basic truths about life that often get overlooked or forgotten in the daily grind of living in this world.

As a reader, I’m not 100% sure which part of the book is true and which part is fiction. The author, Andy Andrews, writes as if it’s all true, as if he encountered Jones and has lived an extraordinary life because of the perspective – the advice – Jones gave him. Really, whether it’s true or not doesn’t really matter. Because the wisdom that Jones – the man or the character – shares is true, life-changing and perspective-giving.

The Noticer tells of Jones’ visit to Orange Beach and the people he visits. Always showing up at the most appropriate time, the old man points out different ways of looking at situations, changing not just a person’s outlook but also the direction of his or her life. He meets with the Wayward, the Lover Lost, the Worrier, the Lustful Youth, the Workaholic and the Useless.

And they hear what he has to say. And they understand. And their lives are changed.

This video shares a bit more about the book. Don't worry - "full length" is less than 4 minutes.



Thankfully, I don’t have all the problems the folks in this book do. But I could identify with some of them. The most poignant insight that Jones shared – for me – was what he shared with an old woman who believed she’d outlived her usefulness:

“If you are breathing, you are still alive. If you are alive, then you are still here, physically, on this planet. If you are still here, then you have not completed what you were put on earth to do. If you have not completed what you were put on earth to do . . . that means your very purpose has not yet been fulfilled. If your purpose has not yet been fulfilled, then the most important part of your life has not yet been lived. And if the most important part of your life has not been lived . . . then there is proof of hope for more.”

That’s a good word, right there.

Starting tomorrow, April 28, you can buy The Noticer by Andy Andrews and read more of Jones’ insights and get a little perspective of your own.

I tend to believe I’m a pretty good Noticer myself, able to see what’s really going on in a person’s situation and look at it from a different, healthier, more productive perspective. And then there’s my own life – I’m not so good at getting perspective on that.

What about you? Are you good at getting a healthy, accurate perspective on your own life? Or do you find it easier to be wise when it comes to other people’s lives? And . . . has there been a Jones in your life? Has anyone ever helped you notice details and directions in your life that you might otherwise have missed?

This week, I’m going to talk about the Noticers in my life. You can do it, too. Check out The Noticer Project, and join the movement to notice the most influential people in your life. It can be public – your blog, Facebook, etc. – or private, whatever works for you. There’s no need to wait for a wedding, graduation or even a funeral to notice them. No need to wait to be tagged for this meme.

Just start noticing your Noticers.