As if we needed further proof.

We've recently switched Annalyn's naptime from the morning to the afternoon. This makes her a tired girl. I don't eat enough vegetables, and I haven't worked out since Day 4 of The Shred. This makes me a tired girl.

And that, my friends, is not a good combination when it comes to after-work trips to the Walmart.

Fortunately, between contact solution and tortillas, we stumbled into the cracker aisle. And since I know how anything labeled "cracker" makes my daughter oh-so-happy, I decided to pick up a box.

Plus, it was after work. And she wasn't the only one who was ready for dinner.

As we strolled down the cracker aisle, my eyes were drawn to the red and yellow boxes of little cheese-flavored squares. Right. You know the ones.

The Cheez-Its. The one kind of cracker that I can't buy and keep in my house, no matter how much my daughter loves them. Possibly because I, too, love their salty, cheesy crunch. And possibly because a box of Cheez-Its in our house disappears faster than, well, a box of Pop Tarts in our house.

But the Cheez-Its we saw tonight? Oh, they were something special. They were . . . Scrabble Cheez-Its!


My friend Jeremy bought a box of these several months ago. When I saw them at his house during our Bible study, he acted all casual. All, "Oh, I bought them at Target." Right. I've been to Target, mister. And I saw no such Scrabble Cheez-Its!

Okay . . . honestly? After I saw the special crackers at his house, I looked at every store around for a week or so. When I couldn't find them, I figured it was a limited time, short-term, blah-blah, should've bought it sooner thing.

And then I cried.

Just kidding.

But when Annalyn and I found them tonight at Walmart? Well, you can be sure I bought a box.

And opened it up before she starved to death right there in front of my eyes. I know that was a possibility, because of the way she kept shouting, "Cracker! Cracker! Pease! Pease!" No, we're not dramatic in this family. Not at all.

The good news is that somehow, putting letters on the cheesy squares of goodness makes them somehow, less good. I think Annalyn will actually get to eat all of her own crackers this time.

The bad news is that it's just as hard to find the letters you want with Scrabble Cheez-Its as it is with the real game.

Is that even a word?

Look how excited I was to get a desk for Christmas.
The better to play school with, of course!

I am such a nerd. And I’m okay with that. After all, if I wasn’t the proud owner of no less than four AP Stylebooks, who would my friend Kevin call when he has a grammar emergency?

Last night, for example, he called wondering how exactly to write about a range of numbers and if AP had finally changed their ruling on capital-w Web site.

[For the three of you who are wondering, numbers are still written as words when under 10 and written as numerals when 10 or higher. And AP stands firm on the hideous W.]

Lately I’ve been proofreading a lot more projects at work, so I’ve been spending even more time with my trusty AP guide. And I’ve noticed – sadly, for the first time – that my dictionary of choice should be Merriam-Webster’s.

Since my copy of Webster’s was given to me as a high school graduation gift, I’ve been using the online version for the most up-to-date pronunciations, spellings and definitions.

Little did I know just how updated the dictionary was. Until I found the list of new words, that is.

For example, “sock puppet” was added to the dictionary in 1959. But it’s on the list of New Words in 2009. Apparently this year enlarged our understanding of the puppet made of sock, though. Because a second definition has been added.

Did you know a sock puppet is also a false online identity used for deceptive purposes? I had no idea.

Not surprisingly, making the list are media favorites staycation, carbon footprint and reggaeton. Just kidding. I am not accusing the media of bringing us reggaeton, an apparently popular kind of music from Puerto Rico that “combines rap with Caribbean rhythms.”

And I’m sure you won’t be shocked to know that webisode, vlog and frenemy are now accepted parts of the English language.

But waterboarding? Did we need to resurrect that one? Weird.

So, there you have it, folks. Further proof of my nerdiness. For more, check out these oldies but goodies. Good stuff there.

Heard any new words lately?

Random Readings

It just so happens that most of my good finds for this week were about nerdy stuff - punctuation, word definitions, etc. So, go ahead and geek out with these random readings.

• Watch Yer Language reports that Birmingham, England is doing away with apostrophes. (I particularly like the AP Story that calls it an apostrophe catastrophe.)
• Brandilyn Collins talks about the Washington Post’s list of alternate definitions from 2008. These are really funny, although I was bummed when I couldn’t find a list for 2009.
• Buzzwhack is a site dedicated to de-mystifying buzzwords. (WARNING: If you can use more than three buzzwords in a single sentence while keeping a straight face, this site is not for you.)

I particularly liked these definitions from the Buzzwhack site:

• buzz.word (buz´wûrd) n. A usually important-sounding word or phrase used primarily to impress laypersons.
• buzz.whack.er (buz´wak er) n. A person who receives some degree of pleasure in bursting the bubbles of the pompous.

Heard any good buzzwords lately? A couple that I hear around my office are "turnkey" and "proprietary" - annoying, empty words that don't mean a thing. And they are used All. The. Time.

More Sites for the Word Nerds

For no particular reason, and in no particular order, here are some additional grammar-type blogs for those of us grammar-type folks. I used to think I was big on grammar. Turns out, I'm really not. Not in comparison to these people!

• The “Blog” of “Unnecessary” Quotation Marks - I deem this one HI-larious. And even better, check out the post from Chelley's home town.
• Grammar Blog: I Get Gerund - This one gets double points from me for writing about bad grammar on annoying children's clothing.
• Motivated Grammar - Personally, I believe in hyphenating "e-mail," but apparently it's up for debate. Tell that to the Associated Press!
• Language is the People’s: Dispatches from a Grammar Wars Foot Soldier - As someone who has worked as a Quality Control Manager, I can appreciate this guy's passion for grammar. (According to his bio, he is a quality assurance technician.) And he's got a manifesto! For grammar! And he recently made some observations about Canada, so that's for Kimberly.
• Everything Language and Grammar - These people are serious. They mean business. And they've written a book called...wait for it...Literally, the Best Language Book Ever: Annoying Words and Abused Phrases You Should Never Use Again. Ha!

Nerd Alert!

Awww, yeah. I found a new blog to read today – and this one’s on grammar, baby.

All right, okay, so that’s not exciting for most people. And really, not cool for anyone. But what do you expect? Remember, I’ve already written about spelling and spelling bees. This grammar obsession should come as no surprise.

I’ve followed The Society for the Promotion of Good Grammar for a while now. It’s an organization and blog devoted to, you guessed it, good grammar, and happens to be written by one of my favorite opinion writers, founder of National Grammar Day. (As if one day is enough?) But now, I have found a whole new world of grammar commentary, because the most exciting thing about this new site (well, new to me) is the blog roll on the right. Yep, you heard me. More grammar blogs! Woo-hoo!

[Disclaimer: I have just discovered this blog, so if it turns out to be offensive or weird or boring, I take no credit for wasting your time or scarring you for life. Well, I guess it would sort of be my fault. But I’m just saying that I can’t guarantee anything. I just wanted to share my exciting news with you!]

Could I Have the Language of Origin, Please?

That's right - it's the big night. The night of the Scripps National Spelling Bee. I actually rushed home to watch it. Yeah, I did. You might think it's boring, but it's actually quite exciting. I mean, there's a struggle between right and wrong, there's suspense and tension, and we've even seen laughter and cheering. (I'm sure the tears will come later.) And get this - the Barbie doll host just said that one contestant's brother promised to douse her with water if she wins. Yes, folks, douse her with....water.

You know, the kids in big spelling bees often get made fun of, but I think the adults involved are the odd ones. The moderator is so serious, so stern. He acts as if the contestants are putting him out by asking for a definition. And heaven forbid they ask a question twice in an effort to stall for time! (Although, he did have to chuckle when a contest asked for the origin of "oxylophytic," and he had to say, "A Greek part connected to something that's probably another Greek part." Very helpful.)

I already mentioned Barbie doll host - she's interviewing the contestants between rounds, similar to Dancing with the Stars' format. This isn't surprising, considering this year's bee is on ABC (I think it's normally only on ESPN), and the main host is none other than Tom Bergeron. Oh no, he actually just said that the tension is mounting. He's a funny man. It must be interesting to go from home videos and dancing "stars" to providing color commentary for these crazy smart kids. But, thanks to his presence, these kids know they're just as important and cool as Kristi Yamaguchi and Joey Lawrence. (Whoa!)

I do like the way they've produced this contest. The rock music playing in the background as we head to commercial, the play by play from our friend, Tom, the highlights replayed as we come back from commercial. They've made it pretty slick and professional, like they're really taking this spelling bee - and the kids in it - seriously. I think that's nice.

But I won't lie. I prefer watching my national spelling bee with the Sklar brothers on Cheap Seats. For those of you who missed this late, great show, here's a taste.

Seriously, though, I wish I could have done more spelling bees as a kid. Our county didn't hold the county spelling bee early enough for winners to qualify for the state bee. And I didn't even know how kids got to the national spelling bee when I was younger. Honestly, I didn't know until tonight when I looked it up. (If only I'd known about the $30,000 prize back then! Now that's an incentive to learn those qualifying rules and study etymology!)

All this spelling talk has me in the mood for a little competition. I'm off to the national site to take the test that will tell me if I could have qualified for the quarterfinals. Here I go...wish me luck...here's hoping they don't give me "numnah" (a word from tonight that sounded like, umm, something else...imagine if that ended with a "t")!

Bonus List of the Week: Words I Missed at Bees:

• percale (As my mom said afterward, "You know, as in 'percale sheets?!' Riiiiight. Because I knew what percale sheets were in the fourth grade.)
• zucchini (I actually had to double-check it tonight before posting!)
• ulterior (I thought the moderator said "alterior," which is not a word, but in the sixth grade, I just assumed it was a word I'd never heard of. If only I'd known to ask, "Am I pronouncing this right?" like the kids are doing tonight.)
• incompetent (Funny, right? Uh-huh, hi-larious.)

(If you're lucky, I'll scan and post a picture of me with my spelling bee trophies for your viewing pleasure.)

Take care that you never spell a word wrong…It produces great praise to a lady to spell well.

Thomas Jefferson reportedly said that to his daughter, Martha. I like it. Mainly because I'm such a geek. And because I just recently learned some great news. Are you ready for this? There's an organization in my city that puts on a corporate spelling bee every year as a fundraiser for a literacy program.

So, just to make sure you get the whole picture. This is a spelling bee for grown-ups! And it's for charity! Does it get any better than this? It's already happened for this year, but you better believe I'll be signing up next year!

If I were a real nerd, I would note here that this gives me 11 months to practice. But I'm not saying that. (Although I will admit to being totally blown away by the way they studied in Akeelah and the Bee. Who knew there was a way to study spelling that's so much better than rote memorization?!) Yeah, I love this movie. But I won't actually be studying for next year's spelling bee. Well, you know, not for several months at least...

Now, for those of you who aren't spelling-obsessed like I am, you'll be satisfied to find that you're not alone. In an effort to find support for my belief that spelling is of utmost importance in this world (I know - who needs more support when you've got Thomas Jefferson on your side?), I found a few people who don't think spelling is, well, the bee's knees. (I couldn't help it!)

First we have another president, Andrew Jackson, who said, "It's a damn poor mind that can think of only one way to spell a word!" (This reminds me of my friend, Kimi, who, when caught singing the wrong lyrics along to the radio, said, "I can't believe they [the actual band] don't know the words to this song!")

Also opposed to spelling rules is Mark Twain, who said, among other colorful things, "I never had any large respect for good spelling." (That might explain the tricky-to-read dialect of Huck Finn!)

And then I went to another Martha, someone who appreciates the finer arts of grammar and spelling, someone I was certain would back me up on my belief that correct spelling is crucial. I went to Martha Brockenbrough. She's a columnist for MSN Encarta, she's had a blog about her daughters on the Cranium website, she created the Society for the Promotion of Good Grammar (SPOGG), and she wrote an article called, Tips from a Former Spelling Champion. Surely Martha B (also self-proclaimed "Grumpy Martha" when it comes to grammar issues) would back me up on this one.

But that was not the case. Though her article implies, by its very existence, that spelling is important, she also has some pointed comments that say otherwise. She admits that our society tends to assume people who can't spell aren't intelligent (okay...guilty...), but she apparently doesn't agree. Her argument is that English is just a darned tricky language to learn properly! She even calls the language "promiscuous," because it continues to adopt words from other languages...and rappers. (Exhibit 1: bling. Exhibit 2: jiggy.) Finally, Martha says that the English language is a nightmare. Encarta even includes a sidebar to guide us to a whole organization dedicated to revising our spelling system to using more phonetic (fu-nett-ick?) system.

She does go on to then share some spelling tips. And even Grumpy Martha can't resist telling her readers that she dominated her school's spelling bees and almost made it to the national spelling bee. So maybe I'll join Martha and admit that maybe (MAYBE) spelling isn't the most important thing in the world and may not be the only or best way to determine a person's intelligence.

But can I also tell you about the time I won the county spelling bee in sixth grade?