I am So. Excited.
On the other hand, as I sit here at my computer, I’m wondering why I ever signed up to go in the first place. I feel so inadequate and small, and the view from my couch doesn’t help. I see blocks scattered on the floor, laundry stacked in a basket, books laying next to the bookshelf and dishes on the dining room table.
Going online to read my favorite blogs makes it even worse. Some sick, sad part of me is compelled to check my stats over and over; and then, even worse, compare them to the subscriber numbers I can see in Google Reader for other blogs.
I can’t compete. They’re cool; I’m not. They’re thin; I’m not. They have four perfect children; I don’t. They don’t yell at their kids, their houses are clean, their careers are amazing (and they’re younger than me!), they write way better than I do, their hair is prettier than mine, and on and on and on and . . .
Hold the phone. Who let the crazy out? Let’s pull it back in now.
I know I said that the Me, Myself & Lies study is hard, but it’s not been for nothing. I am learning something! Those things that I was letting spin me out of control are not true.
Well, okay, other people’s houses might be cleaner than mine. But who cares?
Because, the fact that I’m going to this conference is a total God thing. I had no idea how I was going to pay for it, and I happened to mention it in passing to my boss. My boss, who is running a company in a struggling industry in a difficult economy; the same one who said the company would pay for it as professional development! That offer came out of nowhere and just about knocked me off my seat! (Wouldn’t that have been good for the career – passing out in the CEO’s office?)
Clearly, I can’t take it lightly that I am going to this event.
After all, I remember what happened in February at Blissdom. When I got all freaked out about how cool and together and smart and funny and WHATEVER everyone else was – and missed out on a lot of fun.
Besides, it turns out that I’m not the only one freaking out a little bit. Somehow, that is so encouraging. Well, their freaking out is a little encouraging (misery loves company or something), but most inspiring is the way these women reframe their thoughts and focus on the good things God has planned for us at this conference.
- Lisa talks about clicking – or not – with new friends at conferences.
- Lysa writes about competing with and comparing ourselves to others in ministry.
- Holley shares that sometimes God has to tell her “Enough” with the insecurities and fear.
- Shelly talks about how going to this conference is out of her comfort zone.
So there. I’m not going to panic. I’m not going to wear my insecurities to the party. I’m going to pack my cutest outfits, my laptop and my new business cards, and I’m going to connect with blog friends, meet new friends and learn a whole lot about blogging and online ministries.
And I promise, when I get back, I will tell you all about the cool things I’ve learned and new friends I’ve made! Believing in myself and having a darned good time at She Speaks is going to work for me.
[As always, for more Works for Me Wednesday, visit We Are THAT Family.]
