I am not the poster child for Once a Month Cooking.

I can’t even begin to count how many times I have made a list of all the meals my family likes to eat, broken it down into ingredients and planned to make several of those meals ahead of time. I can, however, tell you how many times I’ve made a month’s worth of meals in one day to put in my freezer, and that is zero.

What’s that saying about a paved road and some good intentions and something?

Honestly, Once a Month Cooking is overwhelming to me. I’ve done the research, I’ve collected recipes, I’ve made my lists, I’ve even bought a package of about 50 foil pans (thank you, Sam’s Club). But when it comes down to picking a day to devote to cooking, I just can’t pull the trigger.

However, cooking a bunch of food every once in a while? That I can do.

So here are the top 10 steps to giving up on perfect and cooking a lot of stuff in one day to have later down the road.

1. Recruit your husband (or daughter or neighbor or mail man) to grill up a bunch of chicken. For me, “a bunch” was two bags of boneless, skinless chicken breasts.
2. Buy and/or thaw 10 lbs. hamburger. Count them, because if you get halfway into your cooking and then realize you can only account for 9 lbs., well, I’m just saying you might get confused.
3. Remember that you only have one big pan, so plan your cooking accordingly. Non-meat items first, unless you really want to scrub the meat bits off in between rounds.
4. Chop up a bunch of onions. Do not attempt to photograph this activity, unless you a) are a professional or b) don’t mind having a shadow over the bottom half of your pictures.
5. Make one recipe of cheesy potato casserole and split between two pans. Wonder why the recipe insists that you fold the hashbrowns and cheese into the soup and sour cream mixture. I say if I wanted to fold, I’d be doing laundry, right?
6. Take a moment to note that it’s best not to do this cooking project late at night in the middle of the week all by yourself. I’m not saying you and a partner have to spend an entire Saturday doing this. But traveling the gamut of emotions, from gung-ho to determined to slaphappy (see #5) to dog tired, might be better saved for a project like painting the bathroom or organizing your collection of CDs and DVDs.
7. Brown 3 lbs. of hamburger at a time (twice). Add onion, garlic and basil. Portion 5 lbs. into 1-lb. plastic containers.
8. Boil water and add a box of pasta in your other pot that’s not really big enough but will have to do for tonight. Add remaining pound hamburger and spaghetti sauce. Pour into two pans.
9. Chop and slice the chicken. Portion as you’d like into plastic bags. Double bag it if you’re too cheap to buy actual freezer bags.
10. Brown 2 lbs. hamburger and add taco seasoning. Put last remaining pound of hamburger back into the fridge to use later.

If you add my husband’s grilling time to the time I spent on this project, it’s a total of less than three hours. And here’s what I got out of it:

• 2 pans baked pasta (I’ll just need to add mozzarella and bake for 30 minutes.)
• 2 pans cheesy potatoes (It’s nice to have a side dish other than corn or baked potatoes at the ready.)
• 2 lbs. taco meat
• 5 lbs. seasoned ground beef to use for spaghetti, pizza or sloppy joes
• 1 bag of sliced grilled chicken for fajitas
• 1 bag of chopped grilled chicken for pizza
• 1 bag of grilled chicken halves for my daughter’s dinners

That’s about a dozen meals, plus leftovers. And once I use that last pound of hamburger to make some mini meatloaves for my daughter, I’ll have at least that many healthy meals for her, too.

Did I accomplish everything I put on the list this time? Um, no. For one, I didn’t bake a single muffin, even though I was totally prepared.

And for two, I didn’t make chicken spaghetti, macaroni and cheese or cheesy chicken casserole. Maybe next time. Because while spending three hours doesn’t yield a full meals for a month, it makes dinnertime at our house a lot easier. And who doesn’t like easier?

And let’s be honest here. If I have chopped up grilled chicken just a microwave minute away, then I don’t really have an excuse for eating half a bag of tortilla chips with Velveeta and salsa and calling it dinner, now do I?

Not that I would do that, of course…

Originally posted on May 7, 2009, at Once a Month Mom.

For some yummy recipes that you don’t have to make in advance or in bulk, visit A Southern Fairytale.

We interrupt this blog for an important announcement:

I won't be here next week. But instead of letting this place “go dark,” as they say, I’ll be posting articles I’ve written for other blogs.

• First – no, I don’t know who “they” are or what “go dark” really means.
• Second – yes, I will stop using the quotation marks like they grow on trees.
• Third – do you think it sounds too fancy if I call guest posts “articles”?

Oh, there I go again with the quotes. I don’t know what’s come over me.

As I mentioned last week, I’m on vacation and (mostly) out of commission. I hope you’ll still stop by, but if you need to take a vacation, I’ll understand.

{Hmm…what does it mean if you take a break from Giving Up on Perfect? Does that mean you automatically become perfect during that vacation? Interesting…}

A few more things while I’m at it:

• We will not have Bible study on Monday. We’ll resume next Monday (the 6th) at 8 p.m. CST to discuss the homework from Week 3. Just a reminder – our memory verse is Philippians 4:8.
  
• Do you read Simple Mom? Tsh wrote a great post last week that I’ve been dying to share. It spoke so much to me, to my life – and I just know it will bless you, too. Or make you think. Or both. Check it out: The Clutter You Can’t See.
  
• My new favorite blog is Diary of a Southern Drama Queen. Leslie Ruth writes about her life, and I don’t know what it is – the diary? the southern? the drama queen? – but she cracks me up. And we’ve already decided to be BFFs if and when I move to Tennessee. Totally.

All right, now. You all don’t have too much fun while I’m gone. I’ll catch up with you when I get home!

You Can’t Always Get What You Want

Sing it with me, now: “But if you try sometimes, you just might find you get what you need.”

Next week, we are going on a family vacation. Mark and I fly to Orlando on Sunday, spend a few days avoiding the Mouse and soaking up the Florida humidity sunshine, then head north to join my parents, Annalyn, and my brother and sister-in-law. My great aunt and uncle live in a little town in southern Georgia, and we’ll spend a few days with them.

After we’ve had all the family togetherness we can stand – and then some, I’m sure – we’ll get on a plane with Annalyn and fly home.

[Side note: Should you be a thief reading my blog (and really, if you are, I have to ask: why?), I’ll just warn you. My very sweet friend Erin will be stopping by often to feed my cats. And we have extremely nosy protective neighbors. So, I guarantee it is not worth breaking in to find that, seriously, one of my prized possessions truly is a 20-year-old VCR.]

Sorry ‘bout that. Just needed to get the public service announcement portion of this blog post out of the way. Now, where were we?

Oh yes. Something about wants and needs and 95-degree heat.

We are so excited for this trip. As you might recall, we planned this getaway to celebrate my 30th birthday and our 10th anniversary. Granted, our original plan was Jamaica . . . and our second plan was San Diego . . . but really, anywhere with a beach and no work and, for a few days, no kiddo will be all the fun we need.

So far, the plans include a trip to Discovery Cove, Sea World (thank you, Facebook friends, for voting in my poll!) and the beach. We might check out Downtown Disney, the town of Celebration or the Space Center.

But we’re keeping our options open. After 10 years of marriage, we’re still two wild and crazy kids, so the possibilities are endless.

Umm, okay, actually – at least one of us was never wild and crazy. So we’ll probably visit the Space Center. That’s pretty much a museum, right? And, okay, we might also pass out and simply sleep for 12 hours. Who knows?

Let me say it again: we are beside ourselves excited about this trip!

But a couple weeks ago, I couldn’t stop myself from focusing on all the things I’m not going to get to do, thanks to this vacation.

First of all, I don’t get to see Dierks Bentley in a free concert downtown. Smitty and I went last year, and he put on a great show. For FREE! But Mark missed it, thanks to this thing called a job. So when I saw that Dierks was coming back this summer and doing the same free show, I thought, “Oh, good! Mark can plan ahead and take the day off!” I was all sorts of happy about this. Until I saw the date – smack dab in the middle of our vacation. Of course! Of course Dierks would come to my town when I’m in someone else’s town!

Then, Chelley informs me that she and Mel are coming down to KC for a baseball game. Oh, great! You can stay with us! Yippee! Wait for it . . . yes. You’re right. They’re coming the week we’re out of town. Because apparently, it’s important to see a certain team play the Royals. (Perhaps I should point out here that Chelley and Mel are baseball fans and I, surprisingly, am not?)

Finally, as if these two blows weren’t enough, let me tell you a little story about a man named Shaun Groves. See, Shaun is a contemporary Christian singer – or, as he calls himself, a soft rock star. And, oh yeah, he’s also a big proponent of releasing children from poverty.

These days, Shaun travels all around, both overseas to see and share the work of Compassion and around the country to give free concerts and talk about Compassion. And a few months ago, he wrote on his blog that he was looking for places to give concerts this summer.

Well, I immediately contacted our worship pastor and said, so politely, “We must. Do this.” And he, ever so politely, said, “Great idea, but it’s not going to work right now.” Because I am pushy annoying persistent, I even had the nerve to ask a second time. But that guy stood firm: it’s not a good plan for our church right now. Okay, fine, I’ll survive. Even though I’m sad.

But then. Then! I see a comment on Shaun’s blog that mentions him playing a show . . . in a couple weeks . . . in Thomasville. Whaaaa? That little town in southern Georgia that my great aunt and uncle live in? Um, yeah – it’s called Thomasville. And we’re going to be there in a couple weeks! So I scour the Internet and finally track down my answer. Here's what I discover: Shaun Groves is playing one of his awesome free concerts / Compassion talks . . . in Thomasville, Georgia . . . on June 27.

In case this crazy long story has made you lose your mind or at least forget when and where I’m going next week, let me explain. Shaun Groves’ concert will take place 5 days before I get to Thomasville.

So close. And yet . . .

But you know what? I’m pretty sure that despite these things I’m going to miss, we are still going to have one amazing anniversary trip/family vacation.

I’ve got my flip flops, my sunscreen and two great books. I’ve got my baby packed and her bag is stocked with lots of snacks and toys for her first flight (eeek!). And I’ve got the most awesome husband I could ask for, holding my hand, ready to hit the road.

It turns out, the Rolling Stones might be right. You can’t always get what you want. But sometimes God blesses us with exactly what we need.

Things I Love Thursday: My Bedroom Furniture

When Mark and I got married, we pulled together a bedroom suit of furniture from - essentially - our parents' leftovers. We used a dresser from his parents and one from mine, the full-size mattress and box springs his parents bought him in the early 90s, a bedside table that once belonged to his grandfather, and eventually, a headboard my parents gave us for Christmas.

And it worked. It really did.

But after a while we longed for beautiful matching furniture, and more importantly, a bed large enough to more comfortably fit the four of us.

(You know, Mark, me and the two cats.)

Last fall, after saying for several months that we wished we were as lucky as my brother and sister-in-law who got an incredible deal on furniture at a store closing, we heard about some incredible deals on furniture at a store closing.

Long story slightly shorter, we got some new stuff - including a queen-sized bed, which is just so nice. It's like we're sleeping in a hotel every night. Except for free. Except for what we paid for the furniture. Because "deal" does not mean "free."

Anyway, check it out:

Yay! The big bed! (Please don't mind our crazy green walls. Painting them is on the list, k?)

Hmmm...the big bed with a kitty. (Or, as she's called by the kiddo: Mow!)

If I don't make up the bed, I find that kitty sleeping on my pillow. Like a person. Who belongs there. (Thank goodness for lint rollers!)

Mark's shot glass collection on his dresser. We each get a dresser - and so many drawers that they're still not all full yet!

And finally, my ironing board. What? You thought I'd have an actual board and iron? (Okay, I do have one. I just detest setting it up and, shudder, using it!)

What does your bedroom furniture look like? Antiques? New and modern? Hand-me-downs? Traditional? Modern? Tell me all about it!

And for more things loved, visit The Diaper Diaries.

Because who needs Wordless Wednesday when you’ve got so many . . . words?

Last night was quite eventful.

First Annalyn and I went to Walmart. As we pulled into the parking lot, a few sprinkles hit the windshield. I thought that was odd, considering the blue skies all around and the (dismayed) promises of our local meteorologists that it Would. Not. Rain. for several days.

We headed inside and began our shopping – yet another short list of last-minute vacation items. If only I’d thought to make one long list, perhaps I could have spent the last two weeks not visiting one Walmart or another every couple of days.

The first thing we did was drop off a prescription, where I was told to come back in 25 minutes. From there, we headed to toys. Because what makes more sense than taking a slightly tired toddler into the toy section, where you refuse to spend six dollars for Dora doll with many small parts?

As we finally headed over to the food section (this was after making another large loop around the supercenter, because I forgot that the cat food is kept in the front of this particular store), the lights began flickering.

Now, I’d heard the thunder and as we passed by the doors [again], I caught a peek of what can only be described as a torrential downpour. (“Only” because clichés are clichés for a reason, and my creative brain is not on yet today.) But considering the blue skies that I swore were surrounding the Walmart just minutes before, I was sure this storm would pass quickly.

And then, as I was debating the wisdom of buying beach towels on clearance and returning the ones I bought last week on Vacation Shopping Trip #17, the lights went completely out.

Annalyn’s face was so funny! She said, “Ohhhh!” and her eyes went wide. She wasn’t scared, but she knew something was off.

Because if there’s one thing that girl knows, it’s what a Walmart is supposed to look like. And this wasn’t it.

Fortunately, the lights came back on after a few seconds, we finished our shopping, paid and got back into the car.

I asked the kiddo if she wanted chicken nuggets for dinner, and of course she replied, “Nuggies!” with glee. However, as I navigated the mess that is Retail Land and saw the looong line at McDonald’s, I decided to head home and just feed her nuggets out of the freezer. (Well, you know, out of the freezer and then the microwave.)

Unfortunately, I realized halfway home that I’d forgotten to pick up my prescription.

So we turned around, went back to Walmart, got caught in traffic again and headed home. By that point, Annalyn was so distraught over not getting her nuggies and needing some milk that when we were caught at a stoplight (because the cars going the opposite direction didn’t bother to stop when their light turned red, so we all got to experience the joy of a late-afternoon traffic jam), I actually grabbed the gallon of milk we’d just bought at Walmart and poured some into her sippy cup.

That, thankfully, kept her happy until we got home and she caught sight of the bag of chicken nuggets. Kid is so funny – she saw me get the bag out of the freezer, but apparently missed me putting several chunks of frozen meat on the plate and into the microwave. Because when she saw me putting the bag back into the freezer? Well, as Mark says, you’d have thought I killed her favorite teddy bear. Or, you know, was refusing to feed her dinner.

I decided to take that moment to explain to her the wonders of the microwave, and disaster was prevented. She ate her “nuggies” and finally went to bed.

Just in time for me to make a sandwich and realize that my internet was still not working and there was nothing on TV.

Not to worry, Bravo chose last night as a debut for another uplifting reality series called NYC Prep. I’d like to say I didn’t watch, since I honestly don’t watch much reality TV (if you don’t count So You Think You Can Dance, What Not to Wear and Wife Swap). But I did.

I told you – event-full.

Technical Diffulties, 2. Mary, 0.

As you (hopefully) know by now, I had some internet connectivity problems last night and had to postpone our live chat. Well, I went home over lunch and tried to log on - and could not. So, rather than continue to tentatively plan on chatting tonight, I'm going to cancel this week's chat.

I'm so sorry.

This means that we won't chat until Monday, July 6 (because I am out of town on vacation next week). Please, PLEASE come back!! :) On July 6, we'll have LOTS to talk about - we'll touch on Week 2 and we'll delve into Week 3.

For now, here are a few questions and thoughts to consider. Let's discuss in the comments.

• We all have labels in our lives - words we believe (true or not, uplifting or not) describe us. What are YOUR labels? Where did they come from?
• Some labels are true. (I am a woman.) Some labels are false. (I am stupid.) I believe the author of our study was saying in Week 2 that often we develop false labels based on how we react and process true labels - leaving us with labels of FAITH (true) or FATE (false). Can you think of an example of this in your own life?
• I love, love, love how the author encourages us to focus on Romans 12:2: "Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God's will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will."
• Are you a Pharisee? Do you focus on cleaning your outside while leaving your inside dirty? (Matthew 23:25-26)
• Many of us make choices and develop habits based on faulty assumptions, just like the author did when, as a child, she thought angels were attending the Catholic church down the street. I know I often operate on faulty assumptions (I can do it myself. I must be perfect to be lovable. If I can't lose weight, I'm a loser.) a lot. What about you?
• And last but not least, we read this week about roots and fruits. What are the fruits of your faulty assumptions and fate labels? What can you do to get rid of them - at the root?

All right, friends. I hope you can forgive this mess, and I hope you'll continue on in the study and come back on July 6. Until then, this is my prayer for you:

Heavenly Father, I thank you for these awesome ladies you've brought together. I pray that you would bless them and speak to them and push them to grow through this study. I thank you for the saving grace and mercy you've given each of us so freely, and I thank you for each woman in this study who has accepted that salvation. I pray that each of us would lean on You and Your Truth only when filling our though closets, and I pray that you would erase the negative lies we've spent so many years lining our closets with and wearing in our lives. I pray for each woman in this study, God. I know we all have situations and issues and problems and burdens and joys and celebrations - and I thank you for being right there in the middle of all of it, holding our hands. Thank you for the book we're reading and The Book we continue to read. I pray you will bring this group back together in two weeks. In Jesus' name we pray, Amen.

Happy Birthday, James!

When Mom said I'd have to share everything (except Teddy) with you, I had no idea it would include the joys of homemade clown costumes.

Bible Study Update

Wow! God has one good sense of humor, friends. Just yesterday afternoon, I told a girlfriend that I'm so hooked on everything online that I just can't imagine going without it.

And then I tried to get online to prepare for our Bible study last night. And . . . nuthin'.

A big THANK YOU to Chelleybutton for putting up the announcement. And thank you, too, to everyone for being flexible. I hope you'll still join us tonight to discuss what we learned in Week 2. And if you can't, I hope you'll share your insights, questions and thoughts in the comments of this post.

If you have been interested in studying Me, Myself & Lies by Jennifer Rothschild but can't join in here, it's not too late. Anyone and everyone is welcome to jump in at any time.

However, if you'd really like to start from the beginning, Beth Moore and her Siestas are doing this study (starting THIS WEEK) on the Living Proof Ministries blog.

Last but not least today - please pray that we have no more technical difficulties and that everything goes smoothly tonight. Chat with you at 8!

Me, Myself & Lies: POSTPONED

Hi, this is Chelleybutton, because Mary's internet is down. She's trying not to talk negatively to herself, but she really thinks God is punishing her for not doing her homework on time (but we all know that's a faulty assumption, right, girls?!;).

She's tried a dozen different things, but her computer is rebelling (like Israel!) and won't connect to the internet (even though it says it is! Argh..). So for everyone who can, let's try this again tomorrow. Same time, same place (Tuesday, 8:00 p.m. CST).

Mary's verrry sorry for the inconvenience and really hopes to see you all tomorrow (I'll be here too!:).

And I still haven't found what I'm looking for . . .

We had a full weekend. Lots of blog-worthy activities. I even have pictures related to these events.

But Monday posts are hard for me to write. I don't know. Maybe it's just part of my work-week-aversion. Maybe it's because I try to limit my Sunday computer time.

Maybe it's because our weekends are usually busy, and by Sunday night, I'm tired.

Take right now, for instance. I'm writing this on Sunday night, glad my headache is fading, watching Jim Gaffigan talk about bacon on my TV, and wondering how early I can go to bed and not be weird. Tiiiired.

So, for today, this is what I have for you: a little story about Google.

On Friday, I decided to make some changes to my blog. You may have noticed. But it didn't all work out right, and I couldn't figure out how to fix everything to my liking. So I went to the master of all things: Google.

Before I could type in my full search term, Mr. Google tried to guess what I was looking for. I typed, "how to," and Google came up with:

How to tie a tie
How to kiss
How to get pregnant
How to lose weight
How to make a website
How to write a resume
How to draw
How to solve a rubix cube
How to write a cover letter
How to get a passport

I just thought this was interesting. I'm assuming these must have been the most common how-to searches on Friday afternoon. I'm just wondering . . . do you think the same people were searching for instructions on kissing and getting pregnant?

Anyway.

My question for the day is: What is one thing you'd like to learn how to do?